Women... alone in bars.

I don't guess it's a stigma, per se, but I can report every time I've tried to go to a bar by myself (to see a band, just to hang out, whatever) I have been his on by scary older drunk guys who didn't know how to take a hint. Very awkward.

But, it seems to me that when a normal, attractive young woman is in a bar, she makes an exaggerated pantomime of checking her cellphone, watch, etc., to make sure that everyone knows she's waiting for her friend... otherwise, the aforementioned creepy-older-guy-hitting begins.

xpost

"I'm so blue, I'd go home with just about anybody right now..."

I mention this because it wasn't an unusual assumption back then. I suspect it hasn't died even now.

This woman looks like the cover of one of those hot 50's girl-on-girl pulps...

I was rather hoping is was old-skool Cristale...

nb I have not tried this since I got married, I wonder if the ring will keep people away?

I really like to go into a bar and have a drink and read like people do in coffee shops, is this a strange thing to do too?

Don't do it so much any more. I guess I just don't like bars so much. Or don't really have a local. The only time I end up being alone in bars these days is if I'm waiting for someone, which SUX0RS. The waiting part, rather than the being alone. I guess I'd be much happier if I was just in there by myself for fun.

But then again, I tend to be a bit of a solitary person anyway, so going to bars alone doesn't seem any odder than going to restaurants alone or going to gigs alone.

Football skews the whole alone-in-pubs thing, as half the people in there, male or female, will be in their on their own, usually just to watch the game.

I have a nice local where people regularly sit and drink on their own, usually with a pint and a book or whatever. Although a good friend of mine goes in their occasionally by herself and never has the slightest bit of trouble. There was one occasion when a couple of (gay) guys started chatting to her, and even then the landlord was like "oi, the lady comes in here because she doesn't want to be bothered", which was nice.

Generally when I see a girl alone in a pub I presume she either works there, or is waiting for someone.

It's not so creepy, it's just like you wouldn't think it was weird to see a girl alone in a coffee house.

See, I'm thinking of resuming my Patch identity and going it alone...

I grabbed my pint and hid in a corner to watch the football.

man..... sometimes

what happened dawg???

women... alone in bars... buzzakill

This thread makes me so furious, on so many levels.

Enumerate them.

Women... alone in bras.

Women... alone in brasseries

http://memoryanddesire.typepad.com/blog/images/2008/03/29/degas_absinthe.jpg

Aphex Twin...alone in bars?

Aphex Twin... alone in my.... NO I'M NOT GOING TO GO THERE.

LOL

: D

really bugs me that no one ever pointed out that nighthawks isn’t even a painting of a bar

I am really mad at the men who harrassed Ailsa ^^.

loooooool MB

creepy old threads vs creepy old dudes

Maybe five years ago, I was visiting a friend who lived in a shithole town outside of Tulsa, OK. We went to a bar together on a Saturday night, got there early, got seats at the bar, and were drinking beer and having a nice time together. The bar started getting crowded and I looked around and realized we were the only women unaccompanied by men in the bar. Then the men in the bar realized this as well, and for the next hour and a half, it was nonstop harassment. Some dudes were straight up angry at us (because the bar was crowded and we had seats - a dude yelled in my friend's face about "WHO DID YOU FUCK TO GET THESE SEATS?"), some went the slut-shaming route (one in particular started off by touching the half-inch gap between my shirt and my pants where I happen to have a tattoo and went on a diatribe about how low-back tattoos are "bull's eyes" and women who have them are cheap), some just hit on us, but we eventually had to leave because we could not speak to each other since we were both constantly fending off unwanted attention from men. The very dark walk from the bar to my friend's car, which she parked way across the parking lot for some dumb reason, was one of the scariest walks of my life. I had no idea if any of these misogynist cowboys followed us out of the bar or what (they didn't).

Anyway, I love going to bars by myself and I do it all the time. Just never in Oklahoma.

jesus

resisting the urge to cross-post that to my Defend the Indefensible: Oklahoma thread (no one really succeeded in defending it, btw). so insane.

i have definitely encountered the vibe ailsa describes upthread; i think at sports bars men sometimes experience a woman alone as a particularly unwelcome threat to their turf. i used to go to delilah's in chicago alone on sundays to watch bills games and sometimes some dudes got a little weird. (many dudes were fine, though.) i also love going to bars by myself.

jesus, CA, that's a terrifying story. was thinking earlier that "woman alone in a bar" doesn't strike as at all unusual, but that's probably a reflection of the bars i hang out in.

You know, I don't tell that story often because it's hard to really convey how surreal and scary the whole thing was. It's actually really comforting to have validation, so thanks.

woman alone in a bar
woman watching game alone in a bar
and
woman watching show alone in a bar

are all three different experiences imo (honestly have never done #2, but i have done #1 and 3 more times than i can possibly remember)

also carl that is terrifying

I've never been been a woman alone in a bar.

I've only been a woman alone in a bar on the Internet.

that is a horrifying story, carl

Going to the bar alone is great.
I liked in the new Muppets movie that they had a diva anthem about hanging out by yourself in "a party just for one" but I didn't like how the denoument of the song made the me party seem sad and empty. Same with Lene Lovich's "Lucky Number." Can we get an anthem about being by yourself with a consistent tone?

wish i could sufficiently apologize for all Okies for the treatment carl described. beyond horrific.

Ugh ugh ugh, CA, that's just so awful and I can't believe there are still human beings on this earth who think it's OK to act like that.

I mean, I've experienced the usual low level creep magnet kind of thing, but overt hostility and harassment on that kind of scale it just o_0.

I went through another period of drinking alone in bars, with sketchbook and listening to music, which is still one of my favourite things to do.

I still can't make up my mind which is grosser upthread, the whole idea that young women on their own in bars are somehow fair game. Or the idea that being an older woman, alone in a bar, because "that's where life has placed you" is somehow ~protective~ - as if the kind of behaviour that CA and Ailsa described is anything at all to do with sexual attractiveness (which of course, 50 year old women never ever have, whether chainsmoking Merits or not) and not just sheer territorial intimidation because... argh, I can't think about this, because it just brings the rage.

I'm going to a bar myself, alone, tonight. To watch a band. I'm sure it will be fine. Me and Isabel Monteiro, drinking alone, in bars, for England.

sexual attractiveness (which of course, 50 year old women never ever have, whether chainsmoking Merits or not)

maybe i'm misreading this portion of your post, but, i don't think 50 year-old women would like to hear they never have sexual attractiveness! but man, CA's story is sad and awful.

You're damn right. Now go back and read the posts at the beginning of the thread to see why I was saying that (and with such an angry and annoyed tone.) I was quoting exactly that attitude which was making me pissed off to start with.

ok, i didn't catch your switch in tone there, sorry.

man..... sometimes

― buzza, Friday, April 6, 2012 1:17 AM

?

I mean, this one, in case you're in any doubt:

Well, there's like those fifty-something office worker ladies that come in and order four glasses of wine and chainsmoke Merits because that's just where life has placed them...

But, it seems to me that when a normal, attractive young woman is in a bar, she makes an exaggerated pantomime of checking her cellphone, watch, etc., to make sure that everyone knows she's waiting for her friend... otherwise, the aforementioned creepy-older-guy-hitting begins.

― andy --, Friday, February 25, 2005 11:34 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Because even when you're 40 (and I'm sure it will be exactly the same when I'm 50) there will still be creepy dudes who think that a woman drinking alone is a "professional" or an invitation.

And because so much of the time, it isn't even about sex at all, it's about intimidation, of women, to get them out of "male" claimed space.

?

― =D (am0n), Friday, April 6, 2012 9:03 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

think everyone's still wondering abt that

Sometimes...they sing this at karaoke?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uplUUowitJk

haha, ambiguous revive

there was this really beautiful and young woman who started talking to me last night and it was pretty clear she sorta latched onto me because the creeps sitting next to her were freaking her out with their unwanted comments and "moves"

she was super smart and had a crazy backstory so i didn't mind being her chaperon.

buzza, revivalist

,thread chaperon

internet dudes.....alone in bars

Fucking ghost town

Even the bartender has left

haha, ambiguous revive

there was this really beautiful and young woman who started talking to me last night and it was pretty clear she sorta latched onto me because the creeps sitting next to her were freaking her out with their unwanted comments and "moves"

she was super smart and had a crazy backstory so i didn't mind being her chaperon.

― buzza, Saturday, 7 April 2012 02:06 (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm the creep but it would have to be extraordinary circumstances for me to approach some angel with a broken wing / little miss lonely

hideous men itt

Hideous is too kind

Buzza is such a hero

Surprised I didn't start this thread

"Do you have company?"
"No"
"Do you want some?"
"Sure"

Was kind of hoping this would be a stock photo thread.

http://previews.123rf.com/images/bialasiewicz/bialasiewicz1506/bialasiewicz150600996/41191469-Young-woman-is-standing-alone-in-the-cocktail-bar-Stock-Photo.jpg

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1621849/images/o-WOMAN-AT-BAR-facebook.jpg