Your Fly is Down: What Would You Do?

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So you're walking down the hall and with that gust of air feeling "down there" and people's quick glances at said area, you realize that your fly is open.

Do you

A) Pretend you don't notice and keep walking until you get somewhere people aren't looking and quickly zip up.

B) Reach down in full view and do an obvious zip-up as soon as you realize.

C) Try to do it sneakily, but still in full view of everybody around?

― bettin' on squirrels, Monday, 28 February 2005 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

D) pull out penis and piss on everyone's shoes

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

E) Smugly explain that your dick keeps forcing it open.

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I would think the point with E) is to get a significant other to smugly say something on your behalf, so you may look relaxed and confident.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

If people have noticed already, pull it up. If not, cover it with a sweater, or turn round and face a wal, and discreetly sort it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Some idiots, however, have only button-fly trousers. I am one of those idiots.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i think unbuttoned jeans are kind of sexy

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I would think the point with E) is to get a significant other to smugly say something on your behalf, so you may look relaxed and confident.

DJ Qualls in Road Trip springs to mind.

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

my one off-the-cuff good reply happened when i wz borrowin sistrah becky's car and just leavin her house, and she pointed the situation out w.a sibling's delight:

"so what! i'm going to a party!"

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

back at school once i was sitting at the common room, which had a load of seats facing each other with a very low table in the middle (perfect for playing cards). and i was sitting there for a while when this girl started looking at me and i looked down and omg i was flying low. i quickly zipped it up and thinking haha this girl still giggled. and i was thinking god this girl is lame it's not that funny!

and THEN i realised that that day i ran out of clean pants and i was going COMMANDO. wahey!!

to this day i still don't know whether that girl was lame or if she was just giddy from catching a glimpse of my magnificent penis.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 28 February 2005 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

My answer would be A

or I'd throw my fly a party and hope that would cheer him up a little.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the way to think about it is that it's not really that big a deal or embarassing. and from there on you're alright.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Just zip/button up your pants.

Propriety may require you to zip up your pants, but you're a busy man with weightier subjects on your mind than whether your fly's undone or whether anyone else cares.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, especially for those of ilxors who'd happily posted pictures of ourselves in our pants.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I would zip up while saying "damn, dude, would you quit that?!" to my crotch.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Zip it, then wave and smile. Then say, "I guess I'm all done now."

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 28 February 2005 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I noticed my fly was down once while playing frisbee - about 15 minutes or so into the game. I announced to the guy covering me that my fly had been down the whole time and kinda laughed as I zipped it up. I expected him to chuckle along or something but instead he had this look of terror in his eyes.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 28 February 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

B. I'd probably bow, too.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 February 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

F) Point invitingly, arch my eyebrows, and go "Mm? Mm?"

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 28 February 2005 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

G) MERENGUE!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 February 2005 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

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