Come Anticipate Kingdom Of Heaven With Me

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2005/IJKLM/KingdomOfHeaven/images/main.jpg

ornaldo bloomps takes down that jerusalem town hardcore. dammmmn.

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Monday, 7 March 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

the trailer makes it look as if ridley scott re-used every location from gladiator

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Monday, 7 March 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

they really didn't need a love interest in this one, did they? i mean, it's the crusades, is there really a lack of narrative interest otherwise?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 7 March 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

no love interest = the hero is gay. also its EVA GREEN from THE DREAMERS

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Monday, 7 March 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

But... the hero *is* gay. ::confused::
;D

― Hey Jude, Monday, 7 March 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

I think this is the worst article I have ever read:

http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/film/features/story.jsp?story=632975

"It may be a sign of the degradation of our culture, or it could just be my brain, but amongst other terrifying things about our future, Ridley Scott's first blockbuster Alien (1979) seems to predict reality TV...."

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

OKAY THIS IS THE OFFICAL THREAD OKAY FUCK THE OTHER ONE

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

the caps in the title are more consistent in this thread, so we will ignore the other one.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

eva green looks weirdly 'digital' in the trailers i've seen.

― N_Rq, Friday, 29 April 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

And here's me thinking you were after guessing what the afterlife was going to be like...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 09:08 (twenty years ago)

anyway, i am anticipating this like a motherfucker.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 09:11 (twenty years ago)

but bollocks to the auteurist reading of scott.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

"...it manages, moreover, to tell its story without the usually de rigueur dollop of on-screen eroticism. The most you glimpse is the delicate shoulder of Baldwin's sister, Princess Sibylla (Eva Green) as she falls for Balian..."

even the trailer has more than shoulders. is no-one anticipating? i will shut up.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

good article in gq this month, concerning scotts certain presience in guiding or noting poltical discourses

― anthony, Friday, 29 April 2005 10:06 (twenty years ago)

oh, the 'black hawk down' synchronicity thing? i should read it before saying anything. but it's not like hollywood had lacked for islamic fundamentalists as villains pre-2001...

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

Wonderful spectacle, horrible ideology.

― 64 Slices of American Cheese (Leee), Saturday, 7 May 2005 05:19 (twenty years ago)

the ideology is basically just "can't we all get along?" so i have no idea what you're talking about.

boring movie.

― ryan (ryan), Saturday, 7 May 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

this movie looks so terrible!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

My mom will have seen it -- Orlando, y'know. I'll ask her about it tomorrow.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

orlando bloom will not last.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

He will blow away in a gentle breeze.

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

I think the Salon review said he had a 'noble squeak' of a voice...

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

sorry ladies, but he's boring and sucky. i can't see myself enjoying him in any non-legolasian role.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

Actorist!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

sorry ladies, but he's boring and sucky. i can't see myself enjoying him in any non-legolasian role.

No, I totally agree with you. He's like an androgynous elf version of Joey Tribbiani.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:41 (twenty years ago)

Wonderful spectacle, horrible ideology.

Fr33p are organizing a boycott though!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

I really kinda love the crusades actually. Especially the third.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

CRUSADES TOP 5

3rd (obv)
4th (Haha they SACK CONSTANTINOPLE! Also I saw a documentary about it when I was like eight and it seemed to imply that said sacking was due to knights going to Ventetian Balls and being tricked by SINISTER MEN IN TUXES AND MASKS.)
2nd (Totally indie and kinda rad. Armenia y'all!)
1st (Ok but too much religion and bloody Normans being Norman)
5th (Is there actually a 5th?)

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

Children's Crusade is the best.

"Hi! We're going to go and spread the love!"

*thousands of abductions, mutilations, enslavements later*

"Uh..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

(Then hundreds of years later Sting wrote a song about WWI vets and smackheads and everything was beautiful.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:50 (twenty years ago)

ridley scott may be ok, i don't really have an opinion, but he is CERTAINLY NO GOOD at large scale action and big organized motion. which is a pretty lame fault if you've made three big war movies in a row.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't Hannibal in there somewhere?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

and matchstick men, whoops! like i said, no opinion, but at the spartacus + private ryan stuff, he sucks.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:55 (twenty years ago)

and matchstick men, whoops

He is becoming Spielberg-like in the amount of movies he releases that are instantly forgotten about.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 May 2005 23:56 (twenty years ago)

Ev4 Green came into the store I work this past week and I helped her. Her breasts. I wanted to motorboat in them.

― h0t h0t h0rsey (Carey), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

Carey you are a passionate soul.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:01 (twenty years ago)

i always confuse orlando bloomps with that kid who plays the oldest brother on Malcolm in the middle. I think his name is legolas or something?

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:12 (twenty years ago)

re: bad ideology

The film uses its "all religion sux0r why can't we all get along" preaching to disguise and excuse a rather dour and small-f fundamentalist dogmaticism. The film and its characters valorize Bloomps for sticking so rigidly and literally to what began as a pragmatist's system of ethics -- be a good man, don't blindly adhere to religion. Except that he turns these words into a literalist dogma at one point in the film where the options heavily fall to a more pragmatic interpretation of said rules. The film merely replaces one form of fundamentalism with another. Also, note Bloomps's jarring Bushco moment when he sez to his peeps, "If you don't fight, your families will die, chumpsticks."

However, 3v4 Gr33n with shorty hair was hottness! Because of indieness!

― Lee (Leee), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:35 (twenty years ago)

The film and its characters valorize Bloomps for sticking so rigidly and literally to what began as a pragmatist's system of ethics -- be a good man, don't blindly adhere to religion. Except that he turns these words into a literalist dogma at one point in the film where the options heavily fall to a more pragmatic interpretation of said rules.

Wait, wha'? What's a more pragmatic interpretation of those rules? Be a bad, don't adhere or be a good man, adhere totally?

I got kind of burned out on seeing Eva Green (naked, no less) in the Dreamers.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:51 (twenty years ago)

um, be a bad _man_

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Sunday, 8 May 2005 00:51 (twenty years ago)

He had a very strict interpretation of what it meant to be a good man, and when it came down to making the tough choice, he decided to stick with an arbitrary moral code (decision xyz shouldn't be made because of me), which made him rigidly (and smugly) self-righteous.

If the movie were dirtier and more overtly cynical and had more Liam Neeson, it would've been ace, though.

― Lee (Leee), Sunday, 8 May 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

the picture up top is the funniest fucking thing

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 8 May 2005 01:35 (twenty years ago)

Orlando resembles the homeless guy who helps me score weed.

― Chir Chirp, Sunday, 8 May 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

that's because it is ornaldo...

― latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (latebloomer), Sunday, 8 May 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i've ever actually liked a ridley scott movie that did not have replicants or xenomorphs in it.

― latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (latebloomer), Sunday, 8 May 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

a friend of mine is Ireland's expert on the crusades. He has endorsed the film.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 8 May 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

CRUSADES TOP 5
3rd (obv)
4th (Haha they SACK CONSTANTINOPLE! Also I saw a documentary about it when I was like eight and it seemed to imply that said sacking was due to knights going to Ventetian Balls and being tricked by SINISTER MEN IN TUXES AND MASKS.)
2nd (Totally indie and kinda rad. Armenia y'all!)
1st (Ok but too much religion and bloody Normans being Norman)
5th (Is there actually a 5th?)

-- Gravel Puzzleworth (mostlyconnec...), May 8th, 2005.

1st Was actually successful
3rd Good Richard on Saladin action
2nd Dud, failed attempt to attack the Crusaders only ally in the region
4th I'm a fan of the Byzantines so I tend to regard this one as a disaster
...I don't know much about the rest

― J. Hrwa, Monday, 9 May 2005 00:15 (twenty years ago)

orlando bloom will not last.
-- s1ocki

He will blow away in a gentle breeze.
-- Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime

Yes! Yes! This is the important lesson of the film. Ornaldo needs to score bigtime with this pic in order to become a "movie star." He has to be seen as carrying a major box office success. If not, he's the latest Colin Farrell--the big thing that can't pull in the crowds his handlers had hoped for.

That plus Kingdom being the lastest exemplar of the trend wherein big "Hollywood" movies are utterly supported by the international market, and become less and less Hollywood in the process. In this case, 3/4 of the gross so far is of foreign manufacture.

― EComplex (EComplex), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

Verily I say unto thee: I have seen Kingdom Of Hevaen and it is good. Probably my favorite Ridley Scott film on a visual level -- it's eye candy from the landscapes of Palestine to Eva Green. The casting is fine -- I thought Bloomps was perfect for the role of village-blacksmith-turned-reluctant hero Crusader. No Americans doing bad accents a la Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator . Saladin and crew were completely fascinating. Really epic, really entertaining, I thought.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

the Knights Exemplar

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

I quite liked this.

Wish there had been more large-scale battles and not just seiges tho.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 17 May 2005 00:03 (twenty years ago)

J.Hwra, I think we are gonna have to accept that we have different priorities, on Crusades.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 17 May 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

the christian king can't go fight saladin but saladin can go fight the christian king?

worse than "melinda & melinda".

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 21 May 2005 06:39 (twenty years ago)

basically the same movie though right?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 21 May 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

I'm waiting for the book.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 21 May 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.