Unwisely named products and services

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http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/89391/200.jpg

― Senior Executive/CEO (nordicskilla), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.omfg.com/

― Senior Executive/CEO (nordicskilla), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

I see trucks around Chicago pained in big green letters: "PAIN CARBONIC gas services"

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

pained

Should read "painted," but I guess that works either way.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Happy Ending
302 Broome St. (Chinatown/Lower Manhattan)
212-334-9676
happyendinglounge.com

Like Double Happiness, its older, cheaper, ex-speakeasy sister bar to the west, this trendy bar plays up its previous existence -- in this case, as a massage parlor (hence the name). You can stay upstairs in the lounge and snack on duck-confit empanadas or snapper-and-arugula tacos. But we'll be downstairs at the real bar: a much darker space with mirrored walls, a D.J., and small, tiled former steam rooms where, or so we're told, some very naughty, very gay things have been known to happen late on Tuesdays. On that particular night, as the flirty Jesus-look-alike bartender warns a female patron, "it's all dudes, baby!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

there's a chicken place in montreal called "mini-coq"! also this factory i used to drive by sometimes called "MULTIDIK"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

i went to happy ending once!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002IOK7E.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

In Houston I used to go to this rat hole called the S&M Lounge all the time. Only because of the name. It was a boring redneck bar with a bad jukebox.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

http://www.enema-museum.org/tkm/Foreign/Enemas/FLEET-B.jpg

Imagine a barrage of war ships being flushed up your ass.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha oh my. i don't wanna know how you know about that product, je4nne!

(ps daddy's tonite if you're interested)

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

You don't want to be around me during NYC's famed "Fleet Week." I make many many butt jokes. I'm so predictable. Sheesh.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

well, they're sailors. they're PERFECT for butt jokes.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Somehow I thought that the inadvertent reveal of an underground ILE enema club would shock me more than it has.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

http://www.australiablog.com/archives/images/oct03/gaytime.jpg

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

from tha Streets!

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Thursday, 10 March 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

there's always that "Nads" depilatory cream.

and around here, we can never keep straight faced during the "Scoop and Strain" commercial.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

There's an S&M Children's Wear near my house.

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

Smeg kitchen appliances!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

http://www.whorepresents.com/

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:56 (twenty years ago)

http://www.asseenontv.com/

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/hardoff.jpg

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

Oh, there could be a whole thread of just Engrish.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I wasn't sure if I should include that one or not, its kind of cheating.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

I really want a SMEG dishwasher though.

"Put the plates in the smeg, will you love?"

I mean OMG.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:06 (twenty years ago)

http://www.maximum-beauty.com/shopping/la-mer/lm_eyebalm.jpg
saw this in Neiman-Marcus yesterday and chuckled.

― Aaron A., Friday, 11 March 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

"Oh no, I've redorkulated!"

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

hm, that whorepresents.com site is actually kinda useful

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:22 (twenty years ago)

I was given a tube of that aveda hand relief and me and mr estela chortled about the name.

― estela (estela), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:32 (twenty years ago)

West Norwood's semi-legendary (in my mind) Joke African Food Store. They changed the name after a couple of weeks. Think it's shut down now, tho.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

yeah, nads totally owns this thread

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

haha mark i drove by multidik on the way to montreal about five years ago! those were better days.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

the olifas marketing group subsidizes a huge portion of toronto's garbage bins and recycling stations. the upside to this? we have a relatively clean city. the other upside? you basically cant walk a hundred feet anywhere in the city without seeing "OMG"

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

The urban legend about the Chevy Nova that didn't sell in Spanish speaking neighborhoods

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

I have some Nads eyebrow waxing stuff. The idea of Nads on my face is a bit wrong.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:28 (twenty years ago)

http://www.thefrasergallery.com/artwork/Georgetown2003/bagsaucer.jpg

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

Yes, exactly! argh.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

I forget which restaurant chain this is for, but there's an ad campaign that has the tagline, "Come hungry, leave happy". Considering the popularity of porn films eagerly extolling the virtues of the "cum-hungry sluts" doing all sorts of mad things to each other, it seems to be a bad choice.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 11 March 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

Blowjob? Blowjob? What a terrible name. It's neither blowing nor a job. If I were making up words I'd call it a slurp-play, and then I'd trick girls into giving them to me.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Friday, 11 March 2005 05:26 (twenty years ago)

Skin slurpee

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 06:05 (twenty years ago)

sadly, the flavors available are somewhat lacking. No bubblegum.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 06:06 (twenty years ago)

This is interesting (whorepresents gets a mention, but sadly powergenitalia is a myth. Damn).

― David A. (Davant), Friday, 11 March 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/238/1250/640/DSCF0005.jpg

― Adam Faithless (Adam Faithless), Friday, 11 March 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

http://www.base58.com/pics/myphotos/0502_stockholm/plopp.jpg

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Friday, 11 March 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

There used to be a sushi place here called "Something Fishy" - it lasted just one season.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Friday, 11 March 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

Remy had me momentarily convinced a blowjob was a "service," but now I'm starting to suspect it might even be a "product."

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 11 March 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

There's a 24-hour restaurant in LA's Koreatown (near Wilshire & Western) called the Young Dong Restaurant. I almost got in a wreck the first time I noticed it.

― James.Cobo (jamescobo), Friday, 11 March 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

I can't take caredit for finding it, but:

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/pedifile.jpg

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

haha yes, i think that all the time. the best though is that there's a place on Spadina where there's a sign halfway up a building right across the street from an "OMG" that says something like "WTF group".

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 12 March 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

http://boring.com/

― StanM, Friday, 19 March 2010 16:21 (fifteen years ago)

(xxpost) in that case, I'm going to start a wide area network services company called WAN King.

― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:26 (fifteen years ago)

www.analtech.com

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:28 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.ichromatography.com/two-question-survey-should-we-change-our-name.html

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:28 (fifteen years ago)

Since 1961 Analtech has been manufacturing quality thin layer chromatography plates, providing friendly and expert technical assistance and helping customers solve real problems with real solutions... FOR YOUR ANUS

― smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:30 (fifteen years ago)

let's just get 'analrapist' out the way now shall we

― ilxor lookin' boy (acoleuthic), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:32 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.topnews.in/files/nintendo-wii225.jpg

cap'n obvious here but how the hell

― lipster grifter (history mayne), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:32 (fifteen years ago)

Sackbutt
http://www.alsmiddlebrasspages.com/brasshistory/images/history/trombone/tenorsackbutt.jpg

― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:33 (fifteen years ago)

Uranus
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e4/Uranusandrings.jpg/220px-Uranusandrings.jpg

― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:35 (fifteen years ago)

^ marketing disaster, i mean how many homes have they EVER sold on this thing since rebranding

― DarraghmacKwacz (darraghmac), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:36 (fifteen years ago)

sold one home on uranus to your mom

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:37 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaiSWspfaiw

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, 19 March 2010 16:37 (fifteen years ago)

I have no idea what my above post even means tbh

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:39 (fifteen years ago)

i was duly zung, don't worry.

― DarraghmacKwacz (darraghmac), Friday, 19 March 2010 16:40 (fifteen years ago)

I still remember struggling to stifle hysterical laughter at a summer composition workshop when one of our youngest students -- an angelic 10-year-old girl -- explained that the piece we'd just heard was titled, "Orbiting Uranus"...

― Olivier Messiaen Control (Paul in Santa Cruz), Friday, 19 March 2010 17:24 (fifteen years ago)

Pringles' Rice Infusions always makes me think 'Ricin Fusions'

― koogs, Friday, 19 March 2010 18:25 (fifteen years ago)

Ricicles always sounded like "testicles" to me, and the mascot Captain Rik was a bit too much like "Captain Prick".

― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Friday, 19 March 2010 18:32 (fifteen years ago)

^^^ and if Kanye bites that line I'll be most displeased

― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Friday, 19 March 2010 18:33 (fifteen years ago)

haha xxp

― nakhchivan, Friday, 19 March 2010 18:41 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.sfarts.org

― Olivier Messiaen Control (Paul in Santa Cruz), Saturday, 20 March 2010 18:49 (fifteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

OMG

http://www.farmersexchangesc.com/

I just bought a mirror from them -- the store is here in town -- and went online to check their phone #

― Olivier Messiaen Control (Paul in Santa Cruz), Saturday, 17 April 2010 00:25 (fifteen years ago)

http://members.iinet.net.au/~cdpococks/unclemeat.cd38932918.jpg

― in movie 2001 resurrect thread on planet jupiter (Pillbox), Saturday, 17 April 2010 00:36 (fifteen years ago)

Nice anti-hotlinking image upthread…

― naus, Saturday, 17 April 2010 02:24 (fifteen years ago)

"touching cloth" sari shop on brick lane is the greatest of these.

― jed_, Saturday, 17 April 2010 04:40 (fifteen years ago)

http://lifegoggles.com/files/cloth.jpg

― jed_, Saturday, 17 April 2010 04:41 (fifteen years ago)

Livestock slaughtering company in the next town over from where I grew up:
"Jacka The Knacker"

Not necessarily unwisely named...pretty effective marketing really...but still. *shudder*
The truck always seemed to time its route perfectly to coincide with our school lunch hour...enjoying a lovely sandwich on the front lawn, only to smell then spy Jacka's truck lumbering past, laden with...well, you know.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Saturday, 17 April 2010 05:46 (fifteen years ago)

In my home town, there was a similar truck for the business "24 Hour Custom Slaughter."

― Ponies are horse children (Abbott), Saturday, 17 April 2010 19:01 (fifteen years ago)

I always wondered who was having what slaughtered in those midnight hours.

― Ponies are horse children (Abbott), Saturday, 17 April 2010 19:02 (fifteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f4/Animal-magic-cd-cover.jpg

― Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Saturday, 17 April 2010 19:08 (fifteen years ago)

i want a golden gaytime

― no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Saturday, 17 April 2010 19:10 (fifteen years ago)

Pretty tasty iirc. Lol my mum's favorite icecream

― VegemiteGrrrl, Saturday, 17 April 2010 20:32 (fifteen years ago)

Siemens

― musically, Saturday, 17 April 2010 20:46 (fifteen years ago)

and there's a marketing firm called Wongdoody in Seattle, founded by two people named Wong and Doody

― musically, Saturday, 17 April 2010 20:47 (fifteen years ago)

that's kind of great, actually. would hire Wongdoody.

― in movie 2001 resurrect thread on planet jupiter (Pillbox), Saturday, 17 April 2010 20:50 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.regina.co.nz/blog/images/070404/image/nigroids.jpg

― max arrrrrgh, Sunday, 18 April 2010 00:20 (fifteen years ago)

That Avril poster at the top (and her web site & promotional stuff back in the day) ripped off a font by none other than Bradford Cox who is now in Deerhunter. He said one day he noticed it and never got any notice from her people for permission. He made it in 1997 and named it Polaroid 22:

http://www.abstractfonts.com/font/6025

― Adam Bruneau, Sunday, 18 April 2010 00:43 (fifteen years ago)

That Bradford Cox was devising professional-grade fonts at age 14 is pretty messed up.

― in movie 2001 resurrect thread on planet jupiter (Pillbox), Sunday, 18 April 2010 01:05 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.bugera-amps.com/images/products/6260_P0408_Front_web.png

― Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Sunday, 18 April 2010 08:05 (fifteen years ago)

http://makeupmasala.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/skintimate.jpg

― Olivier Messiaen Control (Paul in Santa Cruz), Sunday, 18 April 2010 15:43 (fifteen years ago)

http://i561.photobucket.com/albums/ss51/tr_fudge/morongo_casino_resort___spa.jpg

absolutely

― Say what? I write often about innovation in energy and education. (tremendoid), Monday, 19 April 2010 00:09 (fifteen years ago)

https://backoffice.pharmacy2u.co.uk/Uploads/Products/2404b5be-e65f-40e6-a58c-d7af8ab6d017/RetardexToothpasteRinseAndSprayPack.jpg

― Tuomas, Monday, 19 April 2010 08:53 (fifteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

Pete Nema knows about the joke.

http://www.petenema.com/

http://petenema.com/images-pn/dog-enema-125.gif

― StanM, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 19:16 (fifteen years ago)

http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2010/3/24/86%20Golden%20Gaytime_thumb.jpg

― Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 01:47 (fifteen years ago)

Best ice-cream evah.

― Blue Sky Whine (SeekAltRoute), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 07:28 (fifteen years ago)

― wilter, Wednesday, 19 May 2010 07:29 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.yelp.com/biz/pho-king-delicious-northridge-2

― EGOT Schiele (get bent), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 07:47 (fifteen years ago)

This bottle shop is down the road from me. They're fully aware of the pun, obviously tho (the pub is called the Dick Whittington)

http://www.ebcak.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dick_liquour.jpg

― demiurge overkill (Trayce), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 08:43 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://i.imgur.com/JVZfw.jpg

― garrett still a cunt (electricsound), Monday, 28 May 2012 04:10 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfFs0o6pCxc&feature=youtu.be

― Bathory Tub Blues (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 June 2013 17:36 (twelve years ago)

A classic (there's another ad upthread with a hilarious checklist).

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, 14 June 2013 17:40 (twelve years ago)

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