Worst internet gimmicky thing ever part 2017: Face Analyzer

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http://www.faceanalyzer.com

If you put that Jim DeRogatis picture from ILM in it tells you he's 100% Chinese.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

It says I'm a "white collar type" and 90% Japanese!!

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

So it was DERO who peed in my coke! Some joke.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

Bah-ha ha ha! It had me as 10% Middle Eastern and 90% Southern European. Then I put in a different picture of myself, and I had different results. Still told me I was 85% Southern European, though.

― Yr3k (dymaxia), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

About the only thing it got right was my 'low gay factor'.

― Yr3k (dymaxia), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

I AM A BLUE COLLAR 86% KOREAN/14% CHINESE WOMAN WITH A LOW PROMISCUITY FACTOR AND NO GAYNESS AT ALL

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

89% South East Asian
11% Chinese

I am a white freckly Scottish person with ginger hair. Hmmm.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

ALSO TOMBOT IS A VERY WEALTHY, 100% EASTERN EUROPEAN...FEMALE

SEEMS TO SHOW JUST HOW MUCH THEY KNOW ABOUT GAYNESS!

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

im 88% eastern european. low gayness.

the personality thing isnt far off actually

― dnepropetrovsklido (gareth), Thursday, 10 March 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

Hey! I got zeros for everything and no archetype found! :(

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

OK I put in a different picture and it says I am 75% Arabic, 23% Eastern European, and 2% Chinese, I am more ok with this though a third picture went right back to being half Chinese, why is this website so insistant on Asianness.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:03 (twenty years ago)

also judgin "promiscuity factor" from a photo wtf

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

56% Middle Eastern, 44% Chinese. And BLUE COLLAR.

I was disappointed I was not seen as more gay.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

i'm white collar, southern european/anglo-saxon. i don't get along with bosses and i may be attracted to the "charmer."

― lychee mello (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

elvis telecom is 64% Korean/Japanese, 36% Chinese!

― lychee mello (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

I put in this pic of Peter Gabriel:
http://mitkadem.homestead.com/files/Genesis_PeterGabriel_live.jpg
85% East Indian
15% Anglo Saxon
Average Intelligence
Average Risk
High Ambition
Very Low Gay Factor
Average Honor
High Politeness
Income $50,000 - $100,000
Average Sociability
Very Unpromiscuous

Archetype: Beta Academic

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

Do you have to register before it will work?

i have a feeling my fake-coloured hair is confusing the machine, or I'm doing something wrong :(

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

OK now it thinks im 100% chinese. With round blue eyes, pale skin and red hair in the pic. heh.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

the racial makeup of my family:

Meg4n: 53% Southern European, 47% Korean, HIGH PROMISCUITY FACTOR!!!!
J4mie: 79% Middle Eastern, 21% Anglo Saxon, very high income
K4te: 54% Middle Eastern, 32% Anglo Saxon, 14% Eastern European, very intelligent

The last two are twins!

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

Read all the archetypes and expected occupations, they're kinda funny. Also, you gotta love that "white collar" is represented by a briefcase and "bluecollar" is represented by a mug of beer.

Alpha Artist: Most intelligent and ambitious.
Expected Occupations: Designer, Computer Graphic Artist, Painter, Professor, Professional movie critic

Beta Artist: Somewhat intelligent. Adopts styles like goth; styles that are unconventional and are intended to show their uniqueness.
Expected Occupations: Social Worker, Chef, Music Producer, Theater Actor, Theater/Film Director, Physical Therapist,

Theta Artist: Adopt new styles quickly. Not concerned with being looked down on.
Expected Occupations: Cashier, Unskilled laborer

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

is everyone asian according to this thing?

I AM A BETA BOSS. watch out.

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

"very unpromiscuous" does seem a reasonable extrapolation of the p.gab pic

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

HAHA:

Beta Boss
-More ambitious than Theta but less than Alpha
-Makes smarter decisions than Theta but less than Alpha
-Occupation examples: High/medium ranking military officer, Small/medium business owner (management/people oriented business operation), Gangster

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

I thought that too, mark
x-post

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

I don't see how they'd get "Very Low Gay Factor" from that, though.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

his make-up is crassly applied

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

ah, so.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:41 (twenty years ago)

"Gangster" really isn't employment, per se.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

ha. i put in THIS picture and became a FEMALE BETA BOSS.

http://www.cutty.org/face.jpg

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:51 (twenty years ago)

Funny, I put a pic of myself in drag with my head tilted and was able to fool it into thinking I was woman, but then when I aligned the picture so my eyes were level, it sussed out I was a guy, and yet my gay factor decreased, strangely.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

ALSO IN THE SECOND ONE I AM 100% CHINESE?

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

and now, i'm a charmer. this thing is bullshit.

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

This does not work at all. End of story.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

http://www.americanphoto.co.jp/pages/eiga/HA/Previews/Plans-32530.jpg

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

haha Do you know what this means?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure who makes the worse woman, you or Tombot, cutty. It's a pretty close one but I think Tom wins on account of the nose.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

It told me I was blue collar, and much stupider and richer than I really am, and also Japanese/Korean. When I put in a pic with me as a blond, it said I was male, white collar, and made less money and was smarter. WTF? I put in a pic of my boyfriend and it got his ethnicity right, but said he was female and a Charmer (okay, that last part was right).

― Sara Sherr, Friday, 11 March 2005 01:01 (twenty years ago)

ALLY I AM A BEAUTIFUL WOMYN

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

YES YES YOU WOULD MAKE A WONDERFUL GEISHA

OH WAIT THAT IS JAPAN

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:08 (twenty years ago)

ok i just did a search on slavic girl to post images, of a slavic girl and a chinese girl, for comparison, and came up with this (NSFW) and now i am TERRIFIED to look any further for science purposes.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

Wow! Okay yes it's personality thing was insane and off, but:

40% Eastern European
32% Southern European
28% Anglo Saxon

is pretty much exactly right.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

Hey, wanna buy my massive database of people's photos correlated to IP address?

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

yeah that'll be really handy for tracking down PETER THE GOTH DAISY.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 11 March 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

According to this, I am 100% middle eastern!

Maybe it is due to this (I used a different image):

http://wizardishungry.com/no/jon.arafart.jpg

― green uno skip card (ex machina), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

I know where the 85% East Indian Daisy lives and I KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

Mine says I am Beta-Academic, 82% southern european (totally wrong there) and this: "For the most part you do not respect Artist types" which is amusing considering I'm in my final year of a fine art degree.

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/biondino/busmark.jpg

Amazingly, mine is really pretty accurate!!

4% Eastern European
82% Southern European
13% Anglo Saxon

The best bit is:

Your view of other types:

You tend to like Boss types and try to get close to them, as they possess the intimidating factor and confrontational attitude that you lack. You regard Academic Types as mostly withdrawn from life and too uppity to interact with. You associate with some Blue collar and White collar types, and find that these are the people that mostly want to hang around you. You see Artist types as attention seekers and are often the person to criticize them. For this reason, Artist types envy and fear you. You may enjoy the risk taking personality of Gambler types, but you also think that they are loners. You see Drifter types as social dropouts.

Only disappointment: Very Low Gay Factor

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 March 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and:

Your archetype: CHARMER

-More fun-loving than Alpha Charmer

Expected Occupations: Sales representative, Teacher, Aesthetician, Hair Stylist, Artist, Actor, Social Worker, Manager

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 March 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

I am a 37% South East Asian, 63% Chinese Alpha Boss Female. Er.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 11 March 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

Nah, this doesn't work. I put in TOM cruise, and he came back with a low gay factor!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 11 March 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

"No archetype found" with my picture of me as a 5 year old, so I submitted album covers instead.

Bob Dylan is a 94% Southern European White Collar.

Joss Stone is a 45% Chinese very unpromiscuous Charmer.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

wtf? i keep getting this everytime i submit my picture:

Out of memory.
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

Exception Details: System.OutOfMemoryException: Out of memory.

Source Error:

An unhandled exception was generated during the execution of the current web request. Information regarding the origin and location of the exception can be identified using the exception stack trace below.

Stack Trace:

[OutOfMemoryException: Out of memory.]
System.Drawing.Image.FromFile(String filename, Boolean useEmbeddedColorManagement) +220
System.Drawing.Image.FromFile(String filename) +7
avesta.MediaUtilities.FormatImageFile(Paths in_path, String in_filename, String in_savename, Double in_w, Double in_h, Boolean in_delete, Boolean in_whtBkgnd) +96
avesta._default.submitBTN_Click(Object sender, EventArgs e) +367
System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.OnClick(EventArgs e) +108
System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.System.Web.UI.IPostBackEventHandler.RaisePostBackEvent(String eventArgument) +57
System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(IPostBackEventHandler sourceControl, String eventArgument) +18
System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(NameValueCollection postData) +33
System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain() +1292

Version Information: Microsoft .NET Framework Version:1.1.4322.2032; ASP.NET Version:1.1.4322.2032

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

I also submitted a friend, who is 100% Northern European, and it said she was 80% southeast asian. I am beginning to think it gets confused if your photo has your head in 3/4 view.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.bakera.fsnet.co.uk/bush_chimp.jpg

Theta Academic, apparently.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

50 Cent is 100% Korean/Japanese, highly polite and not gay.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

I think it's going by things like nose width and eye spacing.

This isn't working for me right now, but maybe if you plugged in a picture of a prototypical WASP, you might get a much higher Anglo-Saxon quotient.

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 11 March 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Okay, it's working again. I tried Poppy, GWB's father. Typical WASP, right? It says he's 57% Eastern European, 38% Southern European, 5% Anglo Saxon.

I'm wondering what schema places one in the 'Eastern European' and not the 'Anglo Saxon' category.

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

My picture of Hitler rendered this result: 85% Chinese, 15% Southeast Asian.

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

yesterday i put a pic in and was 88% eastern european

today, i put the SAME pic in, i am now only 3% eastern european

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

Tomorrow you'll be 0% eastern european if you know what's good for you, Slav-boy

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

BETA BOSS! (er, nope)

43% East Indian
11% Middle Eastern
46% Chinese

Intelligence 7.0 Very Intelligent
Risk 7.9 High Risk
Ambition 7.9 High Ambition
Gay Factor 1.0 Very Low Gay Factor
Honor 6.9 High Honor
Politeness 7.0 High Politeness
Income 7.9 $50,000 - $100,000
Sociability 6.9 High Sociability
Promiscuity 2.0 Very Unpromiscuous

Wahoo! Tech Specs!!!

The anbition, income and sociability is way out!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

Why aren't you all writing down your tech specs?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

I'm four times whiter today than I was yesterday. I'm also 1/3 more intelligent.

I think people aren't posting their specs because they all say we're of 'average intelligence' and look down on blue-collar people.

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

well, i am

100% chinese.

that is 100% wrong

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

for 3 different pictures of myself (all taken at the same time, mind you, same lighting etc) I got 3 different celebrity face-matches:

leonardo dicaprio,
eminem,
& mike tyson

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Friday, 11 March 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

It said I was a female.

In the picture I submitted, I HAVE AN UNMISTAKEABLE GOATEE.

It also said "You think that Artist types are unrealistic and immature." I live in an artists' cooperative ffs!

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

I kinda get the feeling that it's not very scientific.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

The pic in which I got called a lady didn't really focus on my face, so I submitted another one and was delineated as a "CHARMER" (w/martini icon!) And 45% Eastern European/55% Anglo-Saxon. And got my gender right. Which is cool. $50,000 - $100,000 income, though? No. (And, let's face it: charmer? no.)

Two bits from the profile:

"You see Artist types as attention seekers and are often the person to criticize them. For this reason, Artist types envy and fear you."

"Expected Occupations: Sales representative, Teacher, Aesthetician, Hair Stylist, Artist, Actor, Social Worker, Manager"

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

I have a very low gay factor... but I'm also female.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:08 (twenty years ago)

It also said "You think that Artist types are unrealistic and immature." I live in an artists' cooperative ffs!

So, in fact, you KNOW Artist types are unrealistic and immature?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

And 45% Eastern European/55% Anglo-Saxon.

You must be nearly translucent to get a score like that. Are you an albino by any chance?

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 11 March 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Yes! Did you like "Frankenstein"?

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

I'm apparently 100% Japanese/Korean.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 11 March 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

i am white collar -- 90% anglo-saxon and 10% middle-eastern(!)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 8 September 2006 22:06 (nineteen years ago)

awesome! i got:

HUMAN

STR: 11
DEX: 7
CON: 16
INT: 17
WIS: 5
CHA: 13

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Friday, 8 September 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

It told me I looked like Adam Sandler.

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 8 September 2006 23:54 (nineteen years ago)

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