Predict what will happen next in the Michael Jackson case

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He showed up today in pajama bottoms and Corey Feldman is slated to make an appearance. My friend and I discussed what we believe is going on:

Aaronboyd2: How do you think the judge manages to conduct any business at all in the courtroom when Richard Gere is in ther singing "Razzle Dazzle" in an endless loop?
Aaronboyd2: And you know when he says "Order in the court!" Kelly Bundy stands up and says "I'd like a cheeseburger!" and everyone laughs and laughs and laughs
HiImDavidAllen: hahaha
HiImDavidAllen: Well, the gavel is inflatable and 4 times the size of a normal gavel
HiImDavidAllen: and makes a honking noise when you hit it
HiImDavidAllen: all the lawyers are forced to dress as court jesters
Aaronboyd2: And the entire courtroom is actually rear-projected
HiImDavidAllen: At the beggining of each cross examination, they have to throw water in michael jackson's face to see if the real michael is there that day, or the animatronic one
HiImDavidAllen: (the animatronic one bursts into flames when water is thrown in its face)
HiImDavidAllen: also, the trial takes place in the year 2020 on mars
Aaronboyd2: And everyone is dead
HiImDavidAllen: And the trial never even happens
Aaronboyd2: It's actually a massive Jungian archetype of the "media circus" brought to the physical world courtesy of E!
HiImDavidAllen: This is all actually taking place inside of Ray Bradbury's head

Now you guess what's going to happen next!

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

Furniture police called to give expert testimony that Jackson has committed "crimes of ornamentation" throughout his ranch. Louis XIV and Jeff Koons called by defence to state that Jackson's taste is "in the king and emperor ballpark, overall pretty normal".

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Prosecution requests a contempt of court ruling on the pajamas thing.

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Friday, 11 March 2005 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Jackson is reduced to weeping shell of a man at the mention of a sled he once owned.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 11 March 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

After court recesses for the day, MJ inquires about purchasing the jury box. "It makes me think of choirs," he says. "It's so beautiful. I want it. Want it want it want it want it."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 11 March 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

This would be a bad time for an Atlanta reference, wouldn't it?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 11 March 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

After escaping from Skullfuck Island in a hail of karate, bullets and blood, the real Michael Jackson comes crashing through the skylight of the courtroom with his best friend Bruce Lee and takes out the Japanese woman that the Yakuza put in MJ's place in 1988.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Saturday, 12 March 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20050310/capt.garf10103101842.pandas_in_love_garf101.jpg http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20050316/capt.sge.teq92.160305004856.photo00.photo.default-380x265.jpg

― Dr. Eldon Tyrell (ex machina), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

Prayers will be answered.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

They found the body!

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:14 (twenty years ago)

Dramatic last minute insanity plea?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

a scholarly-looking young man in a white lab coat shows up outside the courtroom and is heard to cry, in a thick german accent: "it wasn't supposed to be this way! it was supposed to be a thing of beauty, not this abomination!"

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:27 (twenty years ago)

Michael and Jesse Jackson have been secretly married for years. Duh.

― Obv, Thursday, 17 March 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Seriously? He'll be acquitted on the sex charges, and convicted of false imprisonment. Sentencing will be unusually harsh for a first offense on that count; Jackson will appeal, and get the sentence reduced.

He won't stop making music.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 17 March 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

"Lisa it's yer burfday!" etc

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 17 March 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Gregory Peck will throw a dildo at Michael & tell him to catch it. Michael will not be able on account of him hot being able to grab anything. Jury will be dismissed because "Jury of your peers" did not include 12 physchos. Defense attorney (OK, defense guy sitting in the gallery) Mike Brady will throw his briefcase while the key witness is giving testimony. Mike Brady will be ejected from the courtroom for throwing a fucking briefcase.

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 17 March 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

"“He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature, and because of it the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. When men seek such perfection they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment and the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to our misery but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself."

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/michael-jackson/index.php#sam-simons-mj-memories-036285

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 17 March 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

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