Skinparty\

Just came back from the Vancouver one. Here's all the good it did me:

Got the invite two days ago from Towers, figured hey, it's a $70 ticket for nothing, nakedness, music, let's go!

Today I began freaking out. Realized that I don't know any hot girls slutty/hippie enough to be my proper "companion" to this shit, and during the afternoon I trimmed my pubes and did situps to the Gummo soundtrack on 10 and got a noise complaint.

Hit two parties before Skinparty, managed to wrangle a decent entourage. We almost get turned away at the door by giant Green Mile nigga bcz we're not dressed erotically enough or something and none of us have tickets and I have to grind the guy so hard just to let me talk to the regular staff and let him know I got it like that.

Get upstairs, and all I see at first are stereotypical clueless and scary juicemonkey drugdealer raver types, giant heaving sweaty roided-up nude torsos w tattoos and glowsticks, blatant jaw gurning. Two plasma screens on wall play hardcore porn on mute, like a Kool Keith concert. My boy Towers is DJing so I hit the floor, where Steffi and I are basically the only ppl fully clothed, trying to laugh it off, while beside us this particularly huge dude pulls down his partner's top and sucks her huge fake tits. Superbimbos are naked or bodypainted at least, everywhere, but the mood is so sketch in there I can't even fathom how to be aroused. GIANT vietnamese guy starts massaging my shoulders and laughing. I notice that some of the naked/painted women are old enough to be my mother. I have by normal standards a very decent body/tan but I feel so dwarfed by these humungo gangster fucks I don't even take my shirt off. I sit down next to my homie Eug, am hugely disappointed that his ultra-hot cousin Kat isn't there cuz then I wouldnt have to worry about anything, notice a couple start to fuck right next to us. Guy is SO sweaty and large he's like a BEAR eating a skinny woman in the DARK WOODS somewhere. Later, this hot naked girl with really pointy boobs sings me a Mary J Blige song quite poorly and tells me to sign her, and her boyfriend, whos high as her, roars YEAH, SHE'S REALLY GOOD, SIGN HER, HAHA, and I'm sitting there trying to process all this with a raging erection, looking at hot pointy boobs and big scary muscles in my face at once. Everyone in there is mangled beyond comprehensible speech, there's yay everywhere and everyone is smoking on couches.

Stef says she's going home which is a great excuse for me to fuck off too. Even Towers is too weirded out by everything and tells his friend to finish his set for him and just lock up his gear on-prem afterwards.

So I went to a Skinparty and came home with nothing but disturbing thoughts. I'm not embarrassed at all, and I'll never go to this kind of shit again.