"If you could just"

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"If you could just...." Then what? Then WHAT? "...then that would be graaaate." Well now that I know it'll be great I'll do it! I mean, if it was just going to be alright or middling why bother right? What other phrases (like the "if-then" phrase above) do people use to avoid actually telling or asking you to do something?

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Could you do me a favour?" - always said by my manager. You're a lovely bloke but you're still my MANAGER i.e. no it is not a FAVOUR when I do something you ask unless it's get you a cup of tea.

― Tom, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Would you mind..."

― Maria, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've got another one! "How hard would it be to...?" Guh, on the one hand trying to make themselves feel like they're learning something about the process on which their products depend, while on the other it's a pathetic appeal to their subordinate's (often justified) pride in their own expertise -- "not hard at all" "well it shouldn't take too long then eh?" Yeah just like I can finish counting 100,000 ball- bearings before lunch...

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My boss - "if you have time..." or "do you want to...?". No I don't and no I don't.

― Ally C, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At least in my case, it's perfectly obvious why I'd use phrases "If you could just ... " or "Would you like to ... " It's because a lot of the work I shunt off is, quite frankly, really dull drone-work (i.e., typing and mailing correspondence, photocopies, correcting and revising paperwork the boss has given back, etc.) Additionally, the secretaries at the firm where I work are either only a year or two younger than I am, or in one case 10 years older than I am. At least for me, it isn't really easy going up to such people and dumping off such work, especially since I'm so anal anyway that I tend to do a lot of my own revisions and pass down the really tedious stuff.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any request that starts with "Umm..."

― RS, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Remarks from boss which begin with your first name, said in *that* tone...

― Mark C, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*that* tone being your name stretched out to three syllables, with a three note intonation: Wi (mid-tone) -ii (low tone) -iill (cadence back up to mid-tone).

'Do you want to...?'

― Will, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

bloody hell i have to do this all the time. actually not so much right now, but whenever a new "system" is rolled out in the company and we find out what people have been doing in the old system (which sometimes defies comprehension) i have to stifle the "you loony" reflex and come up with something like "wouldn't you prefer if..." and "here's a suggestion..." and all sorts of things to coax them slowly round to the idea that they are f-ing nutters and have been pushing a door that opens inwards kind of thing.

It's hard to get right with every person.

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't ask. Just tell.

― dave q, Wednesday, 5 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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