Best come on ever

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It doesn't necessarily have to be one you've used or had used on you, but one that you've heard in some context being used in your presence.

― Ally, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

For the record, Steph telling Albert "I'm learning how to belly dance" apropos of nothing is my winner.

― Ally, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You look clever . I hate that in a person .

― anthony, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I like to use this line:

Hey, check out my pic http://www.goatse.cx/giver.jpg ... Wanna cyber??? Hello? PM me!.... brb... Hi.... hello? Hey, check out my pic http:// www.goatse.cx/giver.jpgYou like?.... Hello... BITCH!!!!!!.... FUCK YOU!!!!!

― Nude Spock, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Yo check my pic!.... There, I remembered how to do it. (Beware, those at work. Shield your screen)

― Nude Spock, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Okay, here's a real one: "Hmm, does this beer tastes funny or are you just thinking about my crotch?"

― Nude Spock, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Note: The above line works better if you are a clown.

― Nude Spock, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You all beat me out -- the only ones I've ever really heard were intentionally stupid and given in mixed company.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Uh.... a mixtape?

― JM, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Actually used by a friend of a friend: "I really despise giving oral sex, but I love receiving it, y'know? I really love getting my cock sucked."

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

And one which I've never seen used: "Do you have a keg in your back pocket? Coz I'd love to tap that ass."

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 12 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

apparently the most succesful pick up line used by women on men is 'hello'. its not difficult to believe.

― gareth, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"Jeremy...? You're not called Jeremy. Go on, NO ONE is REALLY called Jeremy..."

I don't know why, but it worked. Asked for my phone and email, and then actually CALLED me. I was astounded, that never happens. But, of course, he turned out to be a lawyer and could never actually find the time for our first date. Jeez... What is it with my luck and lawyers?

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

A think a girl running up to me and introducing me to some other guy as her Danish brother was pretty good. I tried to do the accent, but ended up sounding like the Swedish Chef...

Oh... another good one: 'If you let my band play Strange Fruit I'll give you oral sex!' We didn't book them, in the end...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Humph, before anyone jumps to any conclusions about who that was, I will point out that Ver Lolleez have played SF *twice* at this point.

Good god, Paul, she was terrifying. You should have pointed her in Matt Fruit's direction... mwah hah hah hah hah.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"hello do you like apples in stereo?" never works!...

― james e l, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"I don't wanna be the champ, I just want a shot at the title."

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"Houston, we have a problem."

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

In the teenage metal years a friend used this gem: Yeah we all like Iron Maiden, you know what else we all like (proceeded to kiss girl)

― tOM p, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"hello do you like apples in stereo?" - LOL

This is so bad it's actually good. I certainly trust you that it does not work though!

"Ever been in a jacuzzi? I have one." was A's drunken opening line once, I was ashamed to be by his side... He is not Craig David, therefore the girl declined, sadly. So I jacuzzi-ed with him instead, we got drunker and A later fell asleep on the floor. I went to a diner to absorb solid food in the form of a continental breakfast.

― Simon, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together." [ducking bricks]

― Joe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Joe -- how charming! I have to try that. Duck the flowers instead - I am feverish and ill right now, sorry about that.

― Simon, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

After only one polite conversation, I was once snared by: (read in an extremely posh English accent) "If you don't take me home and let me fuck you pretty soon, I'm gonna end up fucking that chap over there and he's not only fucking ugly but fucking stupid too, so what's the plan?"

― chris, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby/Come with me Friday, don't say maybe/I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you, ooh/ Ooh yeah, dirtbag" (here mark s brake down and blub)

― mark s, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

six months pass...

A girl at my friend's work (Swedish, natch) started asked him, out of the blue, how often he masturbated. And then what he masturbates about. And then said, sweetly, "Would you like to masturbate about me?".

Those crazy Swedes. She has a boyfriend and everything, so I don't think it was really a come on. God I'm naive.

― N., Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

a few weeks ago I was hammered and used "i cant think of anything to say but i think it's about time i kissed you" and it worked alright. not particularly suave or slick but then who needs that if it works.