grammatical errors in toilet sign (and other signs)

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A sign at the male toilet in our office read..

====================

COULD YOU PLEASE NOT TO PLACE
CHEWING GUM IN THE URINALS
AS THIS
WOULD LEAD TO BLOCKAGE

THANK YOU

=======================

some clever bugger tried to correct it, and it became

===================

COULD YOU PLEASE NOT TO PLACE
CHEWING GUM IN THE URINALS
AS THIS
~~WOULD~~ WILL LEAD TO BLOCKAGE

THANK YOU
====================

then, someone else thought he was clever, and changed it to

=====================

COULD YOU PLEASE DO NOT TO PLACE
CHEWING GUM IN THE URINALS
AS THIS
~~WOULD~~ ~~WILL~~ WOULD LEAD TO BLOCKAGE

THANK YOU
===============================

then, someone ELSE was funny

=======================

COULD YOU YES PLEASE DO NOT TO PLACE
CHEWING GUM IN THE URINALS
AS THIS
~~WOULD~~ ~~WILL~~ WOULD LEAD TO BLOCKAGE

THANK YOU
========================

then, another hero

========================

~~COULD YOU~~ ~~YES~~ PLEASE DO NOT TO PLACE
CHEWING GUM IN THE URINALS
AS THIS
~~WOULD~~ ~~WILL~~ ~~WOULD~~ LEADS TO BLOCKAGES

THANK YOU

========================

discuss.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

the actual sign in question
http://www.lolrider.com/uhhuh/DCP_4599.JPG

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

people put gum in urinals?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

I'm sorry.

Men put gum in urinals?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

there's a sign like this that says "urinals" with quotes and lots of clip art here

― absolutego (ex machina), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

NEVER WHISTLE WHILE YOU'RE PISSING.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

brrrrrr....just glad i don't have to work around said people (sorry ken c)

― paulhw (paulhw), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i've ever decided to stop chewing gum while peeing. also you would have to reach into your mouth to get the gum which wopuld be unhygienic, unless you spit it out into the urinal which is just awful.

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

there's one here that says:

PLEASE PLACE FEMININE HYGIENE PRODUCTS IN ~~RECEPTICAL~~ ~~RECEPTICLE~~ RECEPTACLE (still spelled wrong)

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

haha

― Masked Gazza, Wednesday, 6 April 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

in front of the elevator at my b/f's dorm there is a sign that says "the gift shop downstairs has soviners". someone crossed it out and wrote "souveniers" when i crossed that out and wrote "souvenirs" my b/f called me Lisa Simpson.

― Holly (an appletross), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

i would just like to note that lolrider.com is the best domain name ever.

― webber (webber), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:13 (twenty years ago)

Ken - you should send that photo to Private Eye, definitely worth the £10 prize.

I used to live next door to a mortgage broker that had a professionally printed sign which advised:

DONT WAIT 'TILL ITS' TO LATE CALL IN TO-DAY FOR A QUOTE

― Bill A, Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:16 (twenty years ago)

on the side walls of the newsstand outside Warren St station.. there were a couple of signs either side saying

NO BILL POSTERS
WILL BE PROSECUTED

which was puzzling.. those signs are now covered up by advertising, go figure.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:31 (twenty years ago)

HAHA, i just searched, someone else on the web had noticed it!!

http://www.funkypancake.com/blog/stuff2/priocuted.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:31 (twenty years ago)

it in fact said "PRIOCUTED"

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:32 (twenty years ago)

"M'lud, I'd like to call the witness for the PRIOCUTION"

― Bill A, Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:37 (twenty years ago)

i would just like to note that lolrider.com is the best domain name ever.

thanks man!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:10 (twenty years ago)

http://www.ee.ryerson.ca:8080/~elf/aso/0G-toilet.gif

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

At my old work there was a sign inside each of the stalls that said

"If for any reason you notice that these toilets need cleaning whatever the reason contact the front desk"

Could have done with some punctuation...

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

not an error, but amusing

on the ferry from macau to hong kong
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/163/407893061_991021ad69.jpg

― ken c, Friday, 2 March 2007 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/163/407893061_991021ad69.jpg

― ken c, Friday, 2 March 2007 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

Sign in Jersey City Pakistani convenience store/everything-mart:

DO YOU KNOW
WE FIX MOST OF THE COMPUTERS
WHILE YOU WAIT!

― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 March 2007 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

going back like 15 years here...

there used to be a roadside peanut vendor in jacksonville florida on the way to my job that read:

BOIL PEANUTS

this was like a campaign styled lawnsign that he'd leave in the ground after he'd pack up and leave for the day.

I was about 17 then, so I added an "ED" for him.

He continued to use it as long as I lived on that side of town.

― PappaWheelie V, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

oh, and Coney Island currently:

HOD DOGS

― PappaWheelie V, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

The ultimate thing on this front is always "inconvenience," especially given the number of people who get halfway through it and panic or just give up. There was a sign in my neighborhood for a while apologizing for the inconveneneice.

― nabisco, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/3393/ginerka2.jpg

SURE, YOU MAY FIND CHEAPER 'GINER, BUT WILL IT BE AS FRESH?

― iiiijjjj, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

no typo, i just love that it existed

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/6461/chawpz7.jpg

― iiiijjjj, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

% whois lolrider.com

Whois Server Version 2.0

Domain names in the .com and .net domains can now be registered
with many different competing registrars. Go to http://www.internic.net
for detailed information.

No match for "LOLRIDER.COM".
>>> Last update of whois database: Sat, 03 Mar 2007 10:50:50 UTC <<<

GO 4 IT FOLX!

― libcrypt, Saturday, 3 March 2007 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

there used to be a roadside peanut vendor in jacksonville florida on the way to my job that read:

BOIL PEANUTS

Welcome to the Deep South!

See also: signs in my dining hall for "scramble eggs" and "grill chicken"

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 4 March 2007 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

or the japanese men's urinal sign that reads

"we aim to please
you please to aim"

this may be a myth, i have never been to a japanese urinal.

― darraghmac, Sunday, 4 March 2007 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

OMG Thanks libcrypt! :-D

This used to be my domain name, but it expired awhile ago and my existing ISP had gone bust and got taken over by rip-off merchants. been waiting for the domain to become available again for AGES! i've just registered it again.

― ken c, Sunday, 4 March 2007 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

"massala - undoubtfully the famous dish in uk" and "honey khany - a comletely new recipe, compromising of cashew nuts, sultans, and ground almond in a sauce created with honey, estremely mild", from local indian restaurant menu.

― rio natsume, Sunday, 4 March 2007 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

Mmmm... creamed sultan.

― Trayce, Sunday, 4 March 2007 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

I like the anonymous rebellion of people editing work signs in this way.

In the call centre job I just quit, there was amusing tension between the phone operators and the management, some of whom used to be phone operators. The management's office is upstairs, and people talk about "them upstairs" and stuff with jealousy and malice, but also fear.

There was a big sign near the door that said "ALL PHONE OPERATORS MUST CLOCK ON AT THE BEGINNING AND END OF EVERY SHIFT"

So on my last shift I added "God bless you all, we love you and are always thinking of you as we do our work "UPSTAIRS"

― Ronan, Monday, 5 March 2007 00:14 (nineteen years ago)

I was trying to make it seem like the boring thick assholes that manage the place were some sort of uber-creative religious cult, whose work was too complex for mere phone operators to understand.

― Ronan, Monday, 5 March 2007 00:15 (nineteen years ago)

i was in a korean place yesterday that had a sign that said, 'please please please put toilet tissue in wastebasket!' and another one that said 'please do not put anything in toilet'. i was really confused and concerned that ppl would be throwing away um, used toilet tissue in the bathroom of a RESTAURANT instead of flushing it... i flushed mine. the toilet survived. the 'please please please' part cracked me up a bit though.

― tehresa, Monday, 5 March 2007 00:20 (nineteen years ago)

T, every un-westernized bathroom I went to in Greece had that same problem. I think it's the fault of non-standard plumbing, because reliable codes either don't exist or aren't enforced...but we had it on good authority that flushing toilet paper would lead to clogged pipes and that we were to throw it away, instead. I can't imagine it can possibly meet sanitation code in the US, though. Urgh.

― Laurel, Monday, 5 March 2007 00:31 (nineteen years ago)

yeah... and the toilet tissue in the wastebasket did not look used in *that* way, so i figured i would just flush. how weird, though!!!

― tehresa, Monday, 5 March 2007 00:40 (nineteen years ago)

lolrider.com IS BACK! :-)))))))))))

― ken c, Monday, 5 March 2007 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

lolrider.com even!

― ken c, Monday, 5 March 2007 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

More of a review than a grammatical error:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/14/15503276_21dc88d152.jpg

― onimo, Monday, 5 March 2007 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

Seen in a London office...

"TO AVOID BLOCKAGES, DO NOT FLUSH ANYTHING OTHER THAN TOILET PAPER DOWN THE TOILET"

It's a bit like Greece, but the exact opposite!

― Mark G, Monday, 5 March 2007 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

Does that mean you're supposed to fish your shit out before you flush?

― aldo, Monday, 5 March 2007 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

Main sign (gone now) on a shop near me: "HEROE'S Muscle and Fitness". Below is the conversation which I had with the guy inside.

Me: "Is this shop owned by a Mr. Heroe, with an 'e'"?
Him: "Eh?"
Me: "Well, that's the only way your sign would be correct."
Him: "Eh?"
Me: <convoluted explanation...>
Him: "Are you going to buy anything?"
Me: "Er, no."
Him: "Well f*ck off, then."

I had to applaud him, to be honest...

― peteR, Monday, 5 March 2007 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

The coffee shop next to my work is "NOW OPEN SATURDAY'S!!"

― onimo, Monday, 5 March 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

"All our roasts contain week-long gravy and surrounding vegetables" - gastropub in Putney

― braveclub, Monday, 5 March 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

WHAT COULD THAT MEAN?

― CharlieNo4, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

there was a sign in a toilet in the City of London for many years which read

"Please do not throw cigarrette butts in the urinal as this makes them terribly difficult to light"

― Grandpont Genie, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

arf.

spotted on a pub door in new cross a few days ago:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/127/411392833_94893b0a78.jpg

wonderful. their menu was a feast of confusion as well.

― CharlieNo4, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

I was eating in a new place near where I live a year or two ago, with a friend, a pub but quite upmarket, at least the decor was and that seemed to be what they were going for.

The menu said ~~Homemade~~ Burger on it. "Why yes I'll have that!", was unbelievable.

― Ronan, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf500/f544/f54433abwgi.jpg

― jaymc, Friday, 28 March 2008 16:04 (seventeen years ago)

this is in sheffield

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2365/2321688732_977508db2e.jpg?v=0

― Slumpman, Monday, 7 April 2008 21:04 (seventeen years ago)

It's amazing.

― Slumpman, Monday, 7 April 2008 21:05 (seventeen years ago)

Zowee. Granted, it took me a moment to realize they were goofing an accent aigu for the E.

Which might also explain the building in my neighborhood called The Amhe'rst -- although if that's a failed aigu then it'd be pronounced "AM-hairst"

― nabisco, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:04 (seventeen years ago)

Slumpman OTM.

― HI DERE, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:11 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.coastaltown.nildram.co.uk/jim/IMG00016.jpg

bonus points for clip art joint of meat.

― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 09:32 (seventeen years ago)

i'm still grateful for this thread for reviving lolrider.com for me

― ken c, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:24 (seventeen years ago)

I remember a cafe that had 'Gourment food' This was painted on the window. Also every day introduced a new spelling of 'lasagne' into the world.

― S-, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:46 (seventeen years ago)

EXPRESSO

― suzy, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

(not strictly relevan but) it occurs to me that all words are better with an "O" at the end. yes i have thought this through. no, there are no exceptions to this.

― Upt0eleven, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:57 (seventeen years ago)

Down the street from me is a still vacant Embers that closed.

Days after, the giant sign which said "CLOSED" had a letter stolen, leaving it to say "LOSED", which always had me chuckling to myself, "The word...is 'LOST.'"

These days is just says "LOSE".

Quite a shame, it was the only nearby all-night place to eat. NOW what do I do when I'm sloshed?

― RabiesAngentleman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:54 (seventeen years ago)

Resturants all over Romania carry 'fried crap' on their menu (they mean 'fried carp').

― chap, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:55 (seventeen years ago)

Interchangable.

― RabiesAngentleman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:59 (seventeen years ago)

Interchangeable...that is.

― RabiesAngentleman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:59 (seventeen years ago)

The hungarian cafe next door to my old office used to offer "crapstick sandwiches". I told the owner what she'd done, and the poor lady was mortified.

― JimD, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 12:55 (seventeen years ago)

The sign in the gym says "Male Locker Room" instead of "Men's". A room has no gender. In the Male locker room, there is a sign for a group asking "are you pregnant with your first baby?"

― Dewey B., Tuesday, 8 April 2008 15:38 (seventeen years ago)

La Chambre

― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

Resturants all over Romania carry 'fried crap' on their menu (they mean 'fried carp').

Yeah, I was just in Peru last week and lol'd at all the misspelled translations on menus and store windows, especially on otherwise well-designed, polished-looking signs (e.g., "STEACK WITH CHESSE").

― jaymc, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

Every chinese menu ever: PROK

― suzy, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 17:21 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.therawfeed.com/2007/12/stir-fried-wikipedia-on-menu-in-beijing.html

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 17:49 (seventeen years ago)

There was a store in Pico Rivera with an expensive neon sign that read: "JEWELRY REPAIRED ON PROMISES."

One of my favorite blunders since moving back to the Pacific Northwest was the Burger King sign that offered "BREKFRIST."

― Terrible Cold, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

There used to be a sign in a nearby Pakistani phone-card/luggage/random-junk store that said

DO YOU KNOW!
We fix most of the computers
while you wait!

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 02:31 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

not grammatical errors but this was brilliant.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/4wins.jpg

particularly love "5 hot wins £1.90"! i'd like 5 hot wins please!

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Tuesday, 14 July 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

5 chicken raggetts

― ∑(∂u∂e) (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 14 July 2009 16:17 (sixteen years ago)

gottfried august bürger & chips £1.50

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Tuesday, 14 July 2009 16:43 (sixteen years ago)

Not to sound like a snob, but I cannot understand why the concept of apostrophes is so baffling to so many people. It seems like even people who would never write, e.g. dog's for the plural get flustered when it's an uncommon or foreign word and end up writing, i don't know, quesadilla's.

― Dan Majerle and the Wailers (Whitey on the Moon), Tuesday, 14 July 2009 17:00 (sixteen years ago)

mmm, quesadillas

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 14 July 2009 17:02 (sixteen years ago)

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