A good place to die

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I don't want you all to get the wrong idea here and start worrying about my mental state, but:

Driving to work this morning, I was stopped at the railway station just by the office whilst a train went past. I suddenly found myself thinking: this would be a really great place to kill myself! It's on a bend, the trains come through at a fatal speed, and you could hide then suddenly jump out so the driver didn't really see you before the hit.

Does anyone else have sudden thoughts like this?

(of course, death-by-train is a really, really cuntish way to kill yourself, if the driver's going to see you. The most considerate way to do it: kneel on the tracks in a tunnel.)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

Now we're all getting the wrong idea and worrying about your mental state

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Yes.

xpost

― Kate's evil twin (papa november), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh, no, no, I'm not going to do it. But it was just what popped into my head when I was stopped at the level crossing.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

I call them "ink-drinking urges" (on account of I used to get them when I was practising calligraphy with highly toxic ink that said DO NOT DRINK on the label, so of course, I had the occasional urge to just pick up the ink and drink it because it was prohibited).

It hasn't happened so much lately - along with the recurrant thoughts of suicide that went away with the SSRI's - so I think it may actually be a symptom of depression.

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

...or at least impulse control, which is another classic symptom of serotonin depletion.

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

you can't control impulses until you actually get them!!

i think "what if i jumped out or fell" every time i go near a window, roof edge or train track, and i am really really NOT depressive: i think it's part of being aware of what can harm you and what won't

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I'm like that at the edge of cliffs, walking over bridgers, or so on. There's a less serious varient: "what if my glasses fell off?"

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

Argh! I hate the "what if my glasses fall off?" fear!

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

"what if i visited the branston pickle factory and vomited into the pickle mix?"

(this actually happened to a FOAF: ans = they do nothing so that batch of pickle contains minute traces of vomit)

haha "actually happened to a FOAF"

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

Whenever I am holding a sharp knife I find myself thinking about stabbing people. I have no desire to stab people at all, but I can't seem to help thinking about it. Luckily I no longer work at the deli. When I was quite young and my brother a mere babe in arms and we were on holiday in Wales, my mother's cousin held my brother over the cliffside at Worms Head as a hilarious joke and ever since then I have been terrified of people or possessions being dropped from cliffs.

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

oxford

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Well, there goes the cheese and pickle sandwich I was going to have for my lunch.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Did you not see the PICKLE PLANT DISASTER episode of Midsomer Murders last week?

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Friday, 8 April 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

I’d like to drive off a cliff in a car that’s full of bottles of petrol so when it hit the ground, (I’m dead from the impact) it’ll explode in a massive fireball like in groundhog day or the opening credits of Quincy (medical examiner). It’d give any eyewitnesses something to talk about for a few weeks.

― cavern (cavern1), Friday, 8 April 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

you don't wanna know about the cheese factory accident billy

or indeed the rat/sliced bread incident my college friend's dad the food inspector wz called in to investigate

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 8 April 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

top of primrose hill, obv. eating myself to death

or riding a moped off the white cliffs of dover

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 8 April 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

Every time I'm on a high hotel balcony, it's a huge effort of will to not try flying. It looks like it would be so much fun.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 8 April 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

When I was in high school, I did a lot of "What If.."ing. I decided that if I were ever feeling depressed enough to commit suicide, I would instead offer myself up for a sleep experiment in which I would sleep the rest of my life away and be given drugs that make me have wonderful dreams.

I always imagined if I really did commit suicide, I'd just swerve into another car coming the opposite direction. I used to get that impulse a lot (don't ride with me, ha ha). Of course, that means someone else would probably die too, the other driver... Hmmm... not very considerate of me...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

I don't think of myself as a total perv, but sometimes when I'm around certain women I have this overwhelming impulse to grab at their naughty bits just to see some kind of reaction. It's usually at super-innapropriate places like the office. I'm not necessarily attracted to the women in question, sometimes it's a superior or perhaps the cleaning lady. I also have a bizarre to push or punch men. Again, I don't really have any ill-will towards these people. It's just some sort of phantasmagoric (?) desire to elicit an extreme response.

these thoughts seem to be stronger when I'm viciously hung-over. Or still drunk, I guess.

this is probably for another thread, specifically about impulse control. hmmm.

― Tilt: 0, Friday, 8 April 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

Another nice place to commit suicide: the cliffs between Aird Uig and Uig Sands, on the Isle of Lewis. A beautiful place for the last place you'd see, and no land between you and Canada.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

I ate the cheese/pickle sarnie in the end, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I guess.

One of my friends works for environmental health, apparently they have a gallery/file in their office of gruesome/disgusting incidents. The man who used the bath instead of the toilet sounded particularly interesting.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure I understand your post, Billy. I'm equally not sure that I want to!

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

but yes, i probably would follow a path similar to sarah mclusky's.. like, if my life end up with nothing to live for, i'd totally be throwing myself to all kinds of fun experiments and taking stupid stupid risks.

life becomes great when you're already dead.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

I think if I drove I would do the whole swerving into other cars things. As a pedestrian I find it hard not to swerve at other pedestrians as I pass. No idea why, I'm just drawn to passersby.

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

home is never a good place to die. i'd be too put off by messing up the furniture

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Ooh! Ooh! I could get frozen and then thawed out in the fuuuuuutttttuuuurrreeee.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 April 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

As a pedestrian I find it hard not to swerve at other pedestrians as I pass.

"Ooh it's like cars!"

― $V£N! (blueski), Friday, 8 April 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

My mouth is opening and closing but no words are coming out :)

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Friday, 8 April 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

A bit close to home, some of this. I've certainly had the desire to drive my car at very high speed into an oncoming petrol tanker (or other big lorry), but I've resisted it so far, if only because I wouldn't be around to see what happened later (which I suppose is what stops us doing these things).

I also have odd desires to say or do inappropriate things, such as put my arms round young women or make suggestions. But again I don't. Years of conditioning (either to do the right thing or not do the wrong thing), I guess.

― andyjack (andyjack), Friday, 8 April 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Another idea I had, as a substitute for suicide, was to go somewhere far far away and create a new identity for myself. I guess if I were really depressed though, I wouldn't think anything sounded fun.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 April 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

When I came to that bit in Annie Hall I was like "yeah, so what?" because I have thought quite often about swerving into oncoming traffic or a tree. Never actually intending to do it, mind. The most recent (totally controlled thank goodness) urge I got was earlier today, when I saw the office manager leaning over the post tray and I wondered what would happen if I pinched his arse!

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 8 April 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

caitlin, if you screw up my commute I'll ki....wait, that won't work.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 April 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

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