Oh no a coworker is crying...

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There were harsh words exchanged and now she's crying, and they're talking it through in the kitchen.

It's pissing rain - indoors and out.

Are your coworkers emotionally fragile?

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

no, but fuck this rain.

― Jeromathan Millions (nordicskilla), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Yeah.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

I made a coworker cry once, but I was unduly annoyed at the time.

Rain?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

I haven't seen any of my co-workers cry. They do seem to get pregnant a lot though.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

No wonder you have that spring in your step.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

hmmmmm...I recommend THE FOAM

― Jeromathan Millions (nordicskilla), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

ROXYMUZAK TO THREAD

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

Crying has contraceptive properties.

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

i haven't seen anyone cry at work in a while. it used to happen more often but that's because people were always getting fired or laid off or something.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

Working in a kitchen for 7 years, I saw a lot of the waitresses cry, for a lot of different reasons. It was never a good thing to see.

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

She's still crying, it's been like 10 solid minutes of blubbering. The office is very small so they really can't hide it.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

I had a hunch it was a woman before I even opened this thread.

― Lemonade Salesman (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Of course, this would be a woman.

If I need to cry at work, I'll go to a local sports bar to do it.

xp!!!

― Jeromathan Millions (nordicskilla), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

poor kid.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

go comfort her

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they ran out of free cake in the break room.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

"baby what's wrong?"

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I made a coworker cry once - and the thing is, I really didn't like her, but after I made her cry I had to be all fake-nice and then she hung around even MORE, and asked me how my day was and shit. I made her cry and so she became MORE friendly, like the warden's wife that sympathized with her captor for 11 years.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

she's vunerable. take her to the nearest janitor's closet!

― Miss JaXoN if You're Nasty (JasonD), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

it would be the greatest accomplishment of my career if I made this annoying person I work with cry. I probably could, too, she is hanging by a thread right now.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

This happens at my workplace, too. It's always a female.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

That's happened to a co-worker of mine in the past, except he was frying instead of crying.

― donut debonair (donut), Friday, 8 April 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

I feel bad for crying people, but it still sucks. So unprofessional. If you're going to cry, make sure it's over a death in the family, and not 'cause your boss didn't say "thank you" when you passed him a pen at the morning meeting.

"Baby, what's wrong?" seems like the most obvious reaction.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

fuck you

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

BOY'S DON'T CRY at work.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

wimmin be cryin!

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

i don't cry at work (or haven't) but i wouldn't say doing so is "unprofessional." it sort of transcends such concerns; if you need to cry, you cry. maybe it's best to do it in the bathroom, alone, but if you spontaneously start to cry, it's ok. i hate it when people can't handle other people crying.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

i might have cried on 9/11. although i think i actually just threw up.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Yeah no-one says it's unprofessional if you laugh.

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Wrong - the best thing to do with your emotions is to bottle them up, and keep them inside.

(She's still sniffling, BTW)

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

i would like to make my co-workers cry. any tips?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

blast mahler from the office pa system? i dunno.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

drawing pins.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

i never quite understand or appreciate those scenes in movies and books (they are infinite) when a guy tells a girl, "don't cry, don't cry" or more abruptly, "stop crying!" i mean i guess the former is another way of saying "don't worry, it'll be ok" but c'mon, as FREE TO BE YOU AND ME should have taught us all, it's ok to cry! it's a good thing! it's cathartic!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

i'm going to behave unpleasantly towards them. then accuse them of being unprofessional when they start blubbering.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

well goading someone into crying and then ridiculing them for crying is very gentlemanly.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

if my boss complains, i'll assure him i only did it to re-assert my masculinity.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

Crying at work is harsh, but understandable - hey, I've done it - some people just are crying types, no matter how independent, strong, intellegent, etc. they are. It's not a sign of weakness; it's just another way of expressing emotion. But most people don't understand this - why? Gotta drop the P word here and risk being labeled for it: patriarchy is what the work force is all about, and it's very slow to change.
Anyway, I so very very rarely cry, but when I do, in a public place, it's b/c I'm shockingly pissed off - the crying is far beyond my control. Hey, it's better than flying into a rage and punching someone, I think.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Worst story ever: Like 20 years ago my asshole stepfather worked for the post office. They had a closeted gay coworker who occasionally got like BlueBoy or some gay magazine delivered to his PO Box in a plain brown wrapper. So my stepdad and his cronies would UNWRAP the gay magazines and put him back into the PO Box, on and on for months.

One day the guy broke down and cried, so they stopped teasing. THey're lucky he didn't shoot them all.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

(The crying girl just put her jacket on an left)

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

Probably heard you talking about her.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

Or typing about her.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

you should have shouted "you're letting the side down with your feeble-mindedness" as she passed.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

rrrobyn otm.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

So what's it about?

I'm also shocked that Ned has made a co-worker cry.

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/images/remember/musk16.gif

Never cry, it'll end your career.

Muskie became the favorite to win the 1972 Democratic Presidential nomination. But being the front-runner for over a year proved difficult. During the New Hampshire primary, Muskie choked with anger and seemed to cry because of a couple of nasty articles in the "Manchester Union Leader." One article proved to be a hoax. The other attacked Muskie's wife. Muskie then attacked publisher William Loeb.
EDMUND S. MUSKIE: (February 1972) "By attacking me, by attacking my wife, he has proved himself to be a gutless coward. And maybe I said all I should on it. It's fortunate for him he's not on this platform beside me. A good woman-- "

The episode came to symbolize the collapse of Muskie's Presidential campaign because of the perception that he was weak. Muskie then went back to the Senate and headed the powerful Budget Committee until President Carter tapped him to be Secretary of State in 1980.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

haha secretary of state what a loser!!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

The Moral: To be president, don't shriek, and don't cry.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

I've cried at work before, but not at this job (which would be really sad, since I've only been here a couple of months).

It took me a while to realize that my realtor boss was just a big meanie when his wife wasn't sleeping with him or he was trying to quit smoking (again). It had nothing to do with how well I was doing my job. And when I was interviewing for my replacement one woman said (quite out of nowhere), "Be straight with me. Is this one of those guys that's going to yell at me and make me cry? Because I am very sensitive." I was thinking, boy oh boy do I have some stories for you.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

yeah yeah, leaders don't cry. silliness. Everyone cries at some point.
xpost

I love how tears are seen as weak and guns as brave, when it's so obv the other way round (what if that gay co-worker had had a gun? holy crap.) That "Quit yr crying, get a gun and do something!" is considered logical is fcking sad (but not crying sad. Maybe a crying shame? hahar.) When I get really mad and feel the tears coming on I say something like "I'm probably going to cry, but that's just how I express anger and frusration. And if you have a problem with it, that's too bad." It's like the Lucy Lui boardroom scene in Kill Bill, but with more crying and less slicing off of heads.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

...peepz be crying all the time where I work. Then again, I work with 4 year olds.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

I have cried several times at work, but I usually go to the bathroom to do it. Once one of my clients phoned me up (after I'd been on their account for less than a week) and chewed my ass about how I was doing a shitty job. My god, there were tears after that one. Luckily it was after hours and hardly anyone was in the office.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

Like this one kid, G____, cried for like 30 minutes straight (wailing!) after his mom dropped him off.

...what I'd give for a Amazonian blowgun.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

Folks who were on the stage with Muskie said he didn't cry at all, it was melting snow, but the media mobbed on the story and dashed his bid.

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

dude, a real politician would have ice-cold veins and the snow wouldn't melt on contact!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes (*some*times) it's good to get in touch with your inner 4 year old. My mom has a good story about my 2 brothers and I all crying at the same time (then aged about 4, 2 and less than 1) and her just saying fuck it and sitting down with us and crying too. She said she felt waaay better for it.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

TS: Losing the nomination for appearing to cry vs. Losing the nomination for appearing to yell like a madman

― o. nate (onate), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

One day I'm totally writing a presenation paper on politics and crying. During the question period I will start to cry. It will be awesome! (in a lame-ass academic way!)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

It's funny, I'm normally such a crybaby but I don't think I've ever cried at work.

― Leon WK (Ex Leon), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

(Plus Muskie's wife was having mental health issues and he stood by her side when the editor wrote a mean story - that's STRONG FAMILY VALUES unlike Tom Delay who pulled the plug on his own father.)

― andy --, Friday, 8 April 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

yeah you like Muskie, I GET IT

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

I'm still in shock from the upthread revelation that Ned made someone cry.

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

I've cried a few times at work, once when they had their good-bye party for me of course, and most other times were in the context of one-to-one conversations with a superior, it wasn't shameful in the slightest. I did do it once when someone was kinda yelling at me in the hall and then someone else piled on for something completely different, I was overwhelmed and I said JUST HANG ON I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU BOTH RIGHT NOW and ran into the bathroom until I recovered and then I went to both parties and apologized and worked whatever it was out.

I'm terribly sensitive, I used to cry about every week when I was in school. I've gotten better but I wish I had more control. I was very happy that I managed not to cry when my candidate lost his election (esp as it came at the end of a mentally/physically exhausting day).

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

a lady just cried at my work. cuz she's retiring for health reasons. take it outside!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

-- Amateur(ist) (amateurist@gmail.com), April 8th, 2005 1:13 PM.

Hey, I acknowledge that people cry. I cry. I've cried at work; I just do it in the bathroom or in my car. It's too bad that people have to do that, but the reality is that if you are so upset you can' t make it to the bathroom or outside before busrting into tears, you probably shouldn't be at work that day.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

there's also free cake because of her departure. xpost

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

I work with a bunch of highly-upsettable old ladies though, so maybe I'm biased.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

I tend to cry uncontrollably if anyone is criticising me to me face. If anyone accused me of crying because I was a weak and feeble woman I would probably fly into a murderous rage! I should never get a job.

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

I have never until this very moment heard of a male person crying in the workplace.

Never ever.

― The Mad Puffin (The Mad Puffin), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

i think i've done it on breaks, or just before/after work. on a couple of occasions. i was probably very depressed/frustrated at the time.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 April 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

someone cried here earlier but it was tears of joy because we had a surprise birthday shower for her. I informed her she was unprofessional.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 April 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

I have never until this very moment heard of a male person crying in the workplace.

Never ever.

Wow. That was standard practice at many a busted dot com circa 2000, 2001 or so?

― donut debonair (donut), Friday, 8 April 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

West coasters...

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 8 April 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm still in shock from the upthread revelation that Ned made someone cry.

Hm, I didn't expect that to get as much comment as it did! The coworker in question is actually a good friend (who I helped hire!) and it was a time way back in 1997-1998 when our mutual manager was an unhelpful feeb (said manager is long since gone). Tension was building and I rudely snapped at her for some reason or another when she came into work that day, probably because said manager wasn't helping us much and something had been lingering or done wrong. The fault was all mine and I was soon apologetic when I realized why she had left abruptly.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 April 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

I did do it once when someone was kinda yelling at me in the hall and then someone else piled on for something completely different, I was overwhelmed and I said JUST HANG ON I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU BOTH RIGHT NOW and ran into the bathroom until I recovered and then I went to both parties and apologized and worked whatever it was out.

I'm terribly sensitive

You mean sensiBLE, obv? Surely best way of dealing with that situation being that much too much.

I have never until this very moment heard of a male person crying in the workplace.

This really surprised me, until I thought back on 12+ years of full-time work, and... me neither! (well, if we remove the "of").

― OleM (OleM), Saturday, 9 April 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

I hate crying in front of people, so if circumstances reach a point where I am compelled to cry, I normally bolt for the fire escape & run outside.
I had a horrible run-in with an incredibly aggressive customer a couple of weeks ago, who was so horrible to me that as soon as I hung up the phone I ran outside & burst into tears. But I'm not good with confrontations, so if I'm forced to endure the confrontation I will inevitably cry because I'm so freaked out...which makes it more a panic attack I guess. Meh.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 9 April 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

you gotta be careful... sometimes tears are the last warning you get before UNCHARACTERISTIC VIOLENCE breaks out.

― fortunate hazel (f. hazel), Saturday, 9 April 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

Ive seen at least one man cry at my last work - he was under enourmous strain due to ongoing illness that was really messing up his working life, seizures and things, plus he was a bit of an odd duck anyway. Saw him crying one day, don't know why, it was awfully awkward tho.

I had a bit of a quiet wibbley weep when we all got given our notice in the last job - we'd all seen it coming but I'd been the Pollyanna of the team, refusing to think it'd come to that so when it did it was a shock and a relief and I blubbed.

Otehr than that, if I've cried at work it's been in the loos because it was over non-work personal shit and that shit ain't for the workplace. I'm sick enough as it is of the assumption women are the cry-ers.

I think we're the smart ones, really.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 9 April 2005 06:09 (twenty years ago)

ive never seen someone at work cry, but i guess its more uneasy cos you often aent really close to your co-workers, and at one fell swoop you relationship changes to a very intimate one, albeit in a very unintimaer setting. I really wish i was better at knowing what to do when people cry. I normally offer to make a cup of tea (?!)...

any tips, whats the best way to console someone, or not. whats most useful?

if you cry, what would make it easier to bear, if people around you were all like, "dont cry etc" or "its ok" or just left you alone, or encouraged you to "let it out" etc. whats best?

― ambrose (ambrose), Saturday, 9 April 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

Crying is manipulative and unfair to the people you work with. It's not my job to comfort you but it is part of my job to tell you if you've messed up and how am I supposed to do that if you're going to get all teary-eyed? If you must cry at work, wait until you can go outside.

― gloss, Saturday, 9 April 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

I like, "Why don't you take a little break, go wash your face, have a glass of water?". It's stupid, but it does give you a little bit of time to compose yourself.

xpost

― Kate / Productive Pedagog (papa november), Saturday, 9 April 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

hahaha - Crying is manipulative and unfair to the people you work with. And everything else that goes on in a workplace is fair and above board? eesh. I think it's clear on this thread that those of us who cry don't do it to manipulate and kind of wish we didn't have the ol' cry response at all. But hey. (Is there anti-cry therapy? Sometimes a few deep breaths and counting works, actually.)

Good responses to crying? I agree with Kate, yeah. Don't make a fuss, but don't pretend it's not happening either.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Saturday, 9 April 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

i think its clear that the people on here who thi8kn crying is unprofessional or whatever, really just feel a bit like me, ie dont know how to act or treat people who are crying, but they feel annoyed that they have been put in such a situation, whereas i wish i could handle these situations better.

― ambrose (ambrose), Saturday, 9 April 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

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