ashlee simpson's hospitality rider

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

a jar of your finest grape jelly and NO EVIAN!!

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0408051_ashlee_simpson_9.html

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

a UBIQUITOUS deli platter. For it to be merely present is not enough.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

I can never understand why things like candy and chewing gum are on lists like this. STOP AT A GODDAMN GAS STATION. God. Can these people not do anything for themselves?

Ashlee's gonna need a lot more than "Throat Coat" to get through a tour.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Sunday, 10 April 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

ashlee just doesn't GET it, does she?

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

I bet she won't sing, if she doesn't.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

*strokes chin*

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

What do you think is the finest grape jelly?

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

i don't think she's ready for that jelly.

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

a jar of relish?

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

i remember when afr1ka b4mb4tta played my party, his rider asked for 2 buckets each of fried organic chicken and fried organic fish... i got him a few bags of potato chips instead, he didt seem to mind

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

FUNK YOU, phil.

― donut debonair (donut), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

were they ORGANIC potato chips?

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

you are on the zulu nation's secret enemy list.

― La Monte (La Monte), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

xtina doesn't like evian either

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

don't like the taste of that Freedom water.

and what's with the Oreas?

― donut debonair (donut), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

typo -- Oreos.

(Orea = Oreo aria?)

― donut debonair (donut), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

isn't half the point of being famous that you can make ridiculous and excessive demands?

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

What a bland and reasonable rider.

At least she has good taste in soda (Diet Vanilla Coke, the king of sodas).

― Jordan (Jordan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

the penn and teller one is the most reasonable. "no eggplant or zucchini -- food allergies" is the only real non-negotiable.

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

once i am famous enough to have a hospitality rider, this is what i would demand:

2 bottles of Bookers bourbon
1 bottle of Ciroc vodka
2 4-packs of Sparks
12 bottles of CHILLED bottled water. Volvic or Fiji
1 bucket of POPEYES fried chicken. preferrably spicy thighs.
12 pieces otoro sashimi.
12 raw oysters
1 bag BBQ pork rinds
1 bag Funyuns
6 cans of Coca-Cola
4 bottles of Boylans Black Cherry soda
1 eight ball of coke.
4 cute guys for conversation.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

There are a lot of pleases and thank yous on this rider. I approve.

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 10 April 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and the jelly/deli platter lines are surely jokes. If only her music could be as breezy and amusing as her rider.

― Jordan (Jordan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

I hope she doesn't combine the Jiff peanut butter and the grape jelly, especially on wheat bread.

― Stan Fields (Stan Fields), Sunday, 10 April 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

ubiquitous, as in regardless of whether theyre on the rider or not, they're always part of catering. considering that most artists are stuck on tourbuses and eat at fast food places while on tour, that rider is pretty reasonable.

at least she didnt ask for mead, which was really on a rider for a band i once booked.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Sunday, 10 April 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

I liked the request for a "jar of fresh salsa" - none of that preserved kind that they, you know, put in jars.

― Brian Miller (Brian Miller), Sunday, 10 April 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

Was is the Decemberists? They seem like mead fans. xpost

― adam (adam), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

I hope she doesn't combine the Jiff peanut butter and the grape jelly, especially on wheat bread.

Um, why not?

― Jordan (Jordan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

Maria, was it

http://www.dn.se/content/1/c6/11/96/71/manowar.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

I'm not a fan of grape jelly with peanut butter and I've always seen white bread as the ultimate peanut butter and jelly bread.

As long as I don't have to eat it I guess it doesn't matter at all.

― Stan Fields (Stan Fields), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

I must have eaten thousands of pb + grape jelly on wheat bread sandwiches in my life.

― Jordan (Jordan), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

You sicken me.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Sunday, 10 April 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

it should not come as a surprise that the band which asked for mead was a new weird america band.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Monday, 11 April 2005 02:08 (twenty years ago)

My rider would consist of:

1 bottle of Bushmills
1 pack of Winston Lights, hard pack
1 6-pack of Schlitz
1 ubiquitous-as-hell assortment of Taco Bell items
1 something healthy and non-white-trash thrown in so that I don't look ridiculous when my rider shows up on Fametracker or something

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 11 April 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

Roxy, Phil, there is a whole thread for What Would Be On Your Rider?

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 11 April 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

oops

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 11 April 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

ashlee just doesn't GET it, does she?

She gets it and more, I'm sure. She's a STAR.

― David Svensson (deangulberry), Monday, 11 April 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

Is there really such a big difference between pb + grape jelly on wheat bread and pb + strawberry on white?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 11 April 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

where's the KARAOKE machine? *har har*

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Monday, 11 April 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

i've had fresh salsa on riders. usually, that request is ignored (a lot of stuff gets ignored) and you get a jar but occasionally someone will go out of their way and get a tub of fresh stuff. everyone would get pretty excited when that happened ("oooh, it's real!"). little things mean a lot on the road.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 11 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

Is there really such a big difference between pb + grape jelly on wheat bread and pb + strawberry on white?

The huge difference is only apparent to true pb+j connoisseurs.
Whats with calling it jelly anyway? It's always been jam to me.

― Stan Fields (Stan Fields), Monday, 11 April 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Jelly & jam are different!!

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 11 April 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

I WONDER WHAT IS ON THE GHOST RIDER

― ---- (nordicskilla), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

Jam which has been filtered to remove pulp and make it clear is called jelly.

But like I said, its always been jam to me, even when it really is
jelly.

Anyway, back to Ashlee.........

― Stan Fields (Stan Fields), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Jam in the US is called Jelly.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

And Jelly to non-Americans is what Bill Cosby liked to wrestle in.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

My rider would include:

Volvic (never Evian)
Badoit (gazeuse)
Sapphire Gin
Tonic (and limes dammit)
Salmon-Billecart Rosé
Bread (preferably ficelle)
Smoked Trout
Saucisson Sec
Mimolette/Ossau Iraty/Epoisses
Fennel/Broccoli/Cherry tomato/Carrot crudité plate
One Hint of Talent

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

http://msgboard.snopes.com/message/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/58/t/000763/p/1.html

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

For example, I do not like jelly, but I love jam.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 11 April 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

seriously this is the most unobjectionable rider i've ever read!

they don't stop at gas stations because they don't have time during a tour, whatever. anyway it's the club's duty to provide snacks, so they might as well provide snacks that the "talent" will eat.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

i mean, all this means is that some intern runs out to the 7-11 and buys a bunch of stuff. it's not like j-lo's rider where she expects same intern to find some gourmet aged cheese in some provencal cellar and send it back to memphis in three hours or less.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.