Newspaper Horoscopes: C/D, S/D

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I'm a rational person, and I'm fairly sure that there's absolutely no scientific evidence or mechanisms that could explain how horoscopes work. Nevertheless, I still read mine every day and go "ooh". Even though they're bollocks, are they a useful source of vague feel-good advice.

(NB: yes, I know that all you scientific astrologers out there are going "of course generic sun-sign horoscopes are a load of rubbish! Your natal chart is PROVEN BY SCIENCE, though." I don't care.)

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 06:32 (twenty years ago)

My Yahoo horoscope for today:

"Be more aggressive when it comes to your general mode of operation at this time, dear Aquarius. There is no reason for you to be shy about the things you want and the goals you are eager to accomplish. No one else is going to manifest your dreams for you. It is time now for you to take a more active role in fulfilling your own destiny. Be considerate of others and their feelings, but don't compromise your dreams because of them."

I mean - this is useful advice at *any* time; you don't need the planets to be in a particular position for this to be useful to you. This is the horoscope that made me create this thread, really.

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 06:34 (twenty years ago)

The Independent on Sunday ones are pretty OTM. Aquarius from this week: "What do you want if you don't want money? You really don't want to know. Financial difficulties will prove who your real friends are (and that presents a challenge in itself)."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

Well, I haven't had any financial difficulties yet this week. Touch wood.

I like the Observer ones myself - are Sunday broadsheet horoscopes routinely higher quality?

(this week's was something like "Be pragmatic - Aquarians tend to want to live in Faerieland")

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

Never trust horoscopes written by ex-NME editors!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

As sentimental as it can be, I always read Free Will Astrology. It once gave me some beautiful poetry about gouging out alligators' eyes as a metaphor for my week. Which I now pretty much apply to everything.

I don't believe any of it, no, but I often think that any arbitrary system might be better than my own decision making process.

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa (poop), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

I found it online:

"Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that a crocodile had you trapped in its clenched jaws. The situation would be hopeless, right? No, not at all. If you had the presence of mind to jam your fingers into the beast's eyeballs, it would release you immediately. Similarly, Sagittarius, the predicament in which you" blah blah blah.

Isn't that amazing?

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa (poop), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 08:17 (twenty years ago)

makes me wish i were sagittarius.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 08:29 (twenty years ago)

I love newspaper horrorscopes. But the funny thing is, I only ever remember the few that seem "accurate" and presient, and forget the vast 80% majority that are just "meh". I think it's conscious screening.

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Kate OTM

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 11:56 (twenty years ago)

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