And Baby Makes Three: A White Trash Population Explosion

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Dear Fans:

The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Love, Britney and Kevin

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

IT BEGINS

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

good for her!

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

I EAGERLY AWAIT A MORE MATURE DIRECTION ON HER NEXT ALBUM.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

At least she waited 'til she was married.

― andy --, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

This means that dood finished inside her, right?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

http://celinati.free.fr/news/calendriermiracle.jpg

mach 2

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

I can't wait to see what this kid's name will be.

"This is mah daughter, Minnie Pearl Federline"

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

whatever happened to billie?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

Why did Celine Dion make her baby into a cabbage?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

she's canadian

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

Representatives for pop star Britney Spears are fuming after she unwittingly gave an interview to the 10-year-old daughter of a tabloid journalist.

http://xtramsn.co.nz/entertainment/0,,12253-4284379,00.html

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

I was looking for an image to post that would capture the spirit of this thread; the chest burster came to mind, as did a simple google search for "white trash." Results were unsatisfactory. And while the effort was there with Celine Dion, I can say it was an ineffective choice for conveying the mirth we should be feeling right now: the first child of a pop star born in the ILX-Era should be a time of delight and wonder and horror.

These are sad times.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

yeah, that federline dude seems like such a dick. won't this be like his third child?

― JD from CDepot, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

disgusting

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

http://www.monstromart.com/media/fanarea/cletus_point.jpg

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

I should have a snide and/or pithy comment for this topic, but... I just can't. It's not in me.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

It is so...

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

it was in britney

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/imborden/OhSnap.gif

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

It could have been an immaculate conception.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

For old times sake:

http://www.celebrities-suck.com/photos/britney-spears-bathroom.jpg

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

Maybe the child in her belly is really a parasite she picked up from the floor?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

http://www.skylagoon.com/usr/lav/etc/fora/zing.gif

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

In lieu of a clever remark, I'll just post pics.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

the headline should read:

FEDERLINE TO SIRE FIRST LEGITIMATE CHILD

(unless he was married previously. perhaps I should brush up on my k-fed bio facts)

― Actor Sizemore fails drug test with fake penis (jingleberries), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

Do so, and get back to us.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

This is the best thread title I have ever seen.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

Britney, Michael and Madonna... all with kids? Did somebody say SOOPERGROOP!

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

"Take it, Prince Michael II Jr!"

"Okay, Shawyhna-Britney!"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:15 (twenty years ago)

shawyhna?

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

Maybe Britney is having a black man's love child?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

I mean, do we really know who the father is?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

possible babies:
http://www.stereogum.com/img/federlines.jpg

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

shawyhna?

It's not a white trash name without silent Hs and Ys.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

oh good now she will have something to take pictures of besides her dog's room

for some reason i've become defensive of britney spears, i'm like "aww good for her! be nice!"

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

urSkeks Balki Federline

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

do working class white people in australia commonly give their children names with silent hs and ys? is shawyhna a common australian name? britney's not australian in any case so i still don't get the joke.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

Evidently.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:28 (twenty years ago)

Thank god! This is the beginning of the end of her music career, don't you see?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

Countdown to the Britney Spears children's book.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

she's definitely not cold rationalist, then.

― latebloomer: strawman knockdowner (latebloomer), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

I keep going back to that Celine Dion picture. Those cold, dead, emotionless eyes. Those are a killer's eyes. Brrrrr.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

"Federline has two small children with actress Shar Jackson. He began to date Britney Spears during Shar's second pregnancy."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Federline

Classy guy.

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

What an embarrassing fucking thread.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Certainly was an embarrassing fuck on Britney's part, if that's what you mean.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

"Britney reportedly had to pay for her five-carat engagement ring."

YET MORE CLASS!

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

we are expecting our first child together
=
"we are expecting our first child ... (together)"

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

I didn't know his middle name: Kevin Earl Federline.

At least it isn't Wayne.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

Guys...LACTATING BRITNEY.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

I thought about this, before, but I don't think I ever told anyone:

kev-in fed-er-line

just-in timb-er-lake

: O

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

Britney Spears
Brilliant Genius

..nah.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

Did Celine have another kid, then?

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

This thread is sad.

― Leon WK (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

and potentially divisive.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

'and' or 'therefore'?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

DAMNIT LUNA. I updated the Britney Spears Mental Health thread before looking at this. Oh well. I call upon ALLYZAY, the cultural emissary of all things Britney, to make an official statement.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

involving wire hangers.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Pregnant? You know what that means...

... she fucks!

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

Britney Spears
Brilliant Genius
The letters you bolded spelled "brines." Hmmm...

... she fucks!
*to the tune of "Lump"* She fucks, she fucks, she fucks, she gives good head!

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

FWIW, Federline is the sleaze, not Britney. Any maliciousness aimed at her is assy.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

Well, except for that whole nasty Louisiana cracker thing.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Congratulations Britney!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Yay!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2005-04-14/

The "Toxic" hitmaker, 23, and husband Kevin Federline, 27, announced they were expecting their first child together on Spears' official website on Tuesday

EW BIRTH CAM

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 14 April 2005 05:51 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

Auctioning off Britney's pee strip. The world is a very weird place.

― Tinkle ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

OK how do you even prove that's actually something Britney Spears pissed on. WTF?

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:06 (twenty years ago)

It must smell like "Curious."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

(Yes, in case you're wondering, I do in fact want to punch myself in the face.)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2001-01-26/screens_slacker6.jpg

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

"Eating for two is so much fun; I get to eat lots and lots!" the 23-year-old singer says in a posting on her Web site.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

That's sweet.

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

good thread

― gershy, Sunday, 18 November 2007 05:42 (eighteen years ago)

I can't wait to see what this kid's name will be.

"This is mah daughter, Minnie Pearl Federline"

-- luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:11 (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

lol accents

― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 18 November 2007 11:17 (eighteen years ago)

at least their daughter was real

― sanskrit, Sunday, 18 November 2007 13:51 (eighteen years ago)

... she fucks!
*to the tune of "Lump"* She fucks, she fucks, she fucks, she gives good head!

-- Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:51 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Sunday, 18 November 2007 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

i miss hot britney

― swinburningforyou, Sunday, 18 November 2007 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

at least their daughter was real

-- sanskrit, Sunday, 18 November 2007 13:51 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

threepyramids.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, that federline dude seems like such a dick. won't this be like his third child?
-- JD from CDepot, Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:32 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Ah, the days of yore when K-Fed was a villain.

― milo z, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

He's still a dick.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 18 November 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

K-Fed Celebrates 30th Birthday in Vegas
Saturday, March 22, 2008

Britney Spears' ex-husband on Friday celebrated his 30th birthday at Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas, saying he felt "great" about entering his third decade, People.com reported.

With a posse of about 20 friends and attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan, Kevin Federline entered the club and was greeted at his VIP table by ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson, the mother of two of his children.

Federline’s other two children with Spears were in the care of a nanny and bodyguard as the rapper encouraged everyone to have a "good time" at his Vegas birthday bash, People.com reported.

― gershy, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:02 (eighteen years ago)

wouldn't he be entering his fourth decade? I like that he has to lawyer up to go clubbing

― The Reverend, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:37 (eighteen years ago)

and that they have to differentiate him from the "friends"

― tehresa, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:38 (eighteen years ago)

excellent thread

― omar little, Monday, 24 March 2008 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

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