Mark Russell: Dud or Worthy of Complete Annihilation?

anyway, what about THE CAPITOL STEPS!?!?!11

BART: "We've HEARD this song already"
MARGE: "No dear, that was the Budget Gap, this is the Trade Gap."

Those people are dipsomaniacs, glue-sniffers, crack heads, or just deficient.

http://www.lardlad.com/framegrabs/8F01/40.jpg

The way he would pause, lean on the piano, put a fingertip to his mouth, and smugly say something like, "YOU KNOOOOWWWW, I wonder how Ronald Reagan THE ACTOR would react to PRESIDENT Ronald Reagan. I'd bet that he'd say ..."

Has Stephen Colbert not done a parody of this fool yet?

The avuncular satirist may be mining the quadrennial festivities for his usual brand of bipartisan humor -- "Mardi Gras with air cover" was the simile he came up with for the week's commotion -- but he's more or less participating in the frenzy himself: His one-man show, "Mark Russell: Comedy, Music, Bribery & Conspiracy," runs at Ford's Theatre through Jan. 23.

For those who have missed the last 20-odd years of PBS specials: Russell has pretty much cornered the market on stand-up political satire with piano ditties. In his current engagement, his idiosyncratic comic format channels the realities of the 2004 campaign season and, more generally, the post-9/11 era. Tickling the keyboard of a grand piano whose blue and white trim echoes the arch patriotism of the backdrop (stars and an eagle), Russell serenades his audience with such ballads as "Hang Down Your Head, Dan Rather" (sung to the tune of "Tom Dooley") and "I'm Bombing Baghdad in the Morning" (sung to the tune of "Get Me to the Church on Time" from "My Fair Lady"). Arms stretched out to the ivories, he prances gently in place. Behind his glasses, his professorial expression -- exuding a sort of cranky benevolence -- lightens momentarily. His foot taps in its well-polished black shoe. His trademark bow tie bobs.

And then he breaks off into nonmusical jokes, patter that ranges over the Swift boat controversy, the vice presidential debate, the opening of the Clinton Presidential Library, the war in Iraq ("We've liberated the Iraqis from Saddam and from electricity"), the death of Yasser Arafat and -- as if to prove that he's registered the most recent blips on the radar of middlebrow gossip -- Prince Harry's swastika armband.

Not all of Russell's gags invoke the government or international relations. He riffs a little on his Catholic upbringing, cracks some witticisms about the baby boomers and sings a song bemoaning his own technological backwardness. Remember when a blackberry was just a fruit? Russell does.

But politics provide this performer's raison d'etre, and he can be forgiven for turning his lens now and then on the very process of creating political satire: his difficulty, a few years back, in coming up with a Joycelyn Elders song, or the fact that Howard Dean's bid for the Democratic National Committee chairmanship will allow Russell to milk his Dean quips a little longer.

Ford's Theatre tends to make one reflect that, despite political trauma, America endures. In the very spot where John Wilkes Booth once pulled off a presidential assassination, Russell can now make jests about Bernard Kerik's nanny. Nevertheless, in keeping with recent hand-wringing about the polarized electorate, Russell at one point kiddingly urged all the Bush voters and Kerry voters in his audience to engage in a group hug.

Mark Russell
Experience History Through Laughter
February 1, 2005

Bulletin! Rev. James C. Dobson never said that SpongeBob SquarePants was gay. But Dobson did admit calling Bob a sponge.

The centuries-old argument applies to Bob: Was he born a sponge, or did he choose the sponge lifestyle?

Look at the pejorative uses of the word sponge. A quitter throws in the sponge; a lazy family member will sponge off his relatives.

I can see where this is heading - a return to the old dreaded House On American Sponge Activities Committee.

February 14, 2005

We join our friends in Great Britain in rejoicing (sort of) over the upcoming nuptials of Charles and Camilla. The bride was given away years ago by the British tabloids.

At the April wedding, Charles' son, William, will be the ring-bearer, his other son, Harry, will be the flower-Nazi.

The couple will honeymoon at an undisclosed hotel where, for old time's sake, they will register separately.

The Royal Heir will take the fair Camilla blushing slyly. She will wear no crown, though the two have fooled around since nineteen seventy three.

February 22, 2005

President Bush recently announced that he would seek diplomatic rather than military solutions to escalating conflicts. Translation: enlistments are down.

At last we have the long-awaited intelligence czar, the overseer of all government intelligence departments. His name is John Negroponte, whose job will consist of making the CIA director think he is special.

Negroponte faces two hurdles - being confirmed by the Senate and being tolerated by Rumsfeld.

Hopefully with an intelligence czar, never again will we, as a nation, suffer the indignity of Cat Stevens boarding a plane unnoticed.

No.

Gov. George Bush was heard in a secretly taped conversation admitting to using marijuana and disparaging the religious right. Rather than burn the tapes, Bush should proudly post them on the Internet.

Here we have the difference between Bush and Nixon. Bush's recent tapes bring out his good side.

As future presidents will have been born in the second-half of the 20th century, marijuana use will not be an impediment but a requirement.

Candidates denying partaking of the weed will be labeled soft on agriculture.

Questioning the authenticity of the tapes, the religious right believes it was the voice of Will Ferrell. (WTF??)

TOM: [singing] Honk honk!

CROW: Beep beep!

TOM & CROW: Government gridlock!

ALL: Honk honk!

CROW: Beep beep!

ALL: Government gridlock!

TOM: There's a traffic jam at the Congress intersection,

CROW: But the light is red unless there's an election!

1. I take hold of one end of his tie.
2. Another ILXor takes hold of the other end.
3. The other ILXor and I simultaneously pull on the tie ends.
4. Gruesome strangulation.

(Short shameful confession: my 12-year-old-type amusement with Mark Russell lasted well into my 20s.)

As far as PBS comedy goes, this guy makes Garrison Keilor seem like Richard Pryor.

http://www.politicalboondoggles.com/

Ha ha...ha:

September 14, 2008

Did we just hear Joe Biden suggest that Hillary would make a better vice president than he would? Bad timing Joe. Just as Hillary's supporters meds were wearing off.

Didn't Charlie Gibson and Sarah Palin look like a pompous father and his daughter discussing the daughter's report card? "You'll never get into college with these grades, my dear."

Gibson and Palin spent time discussing God's plan. If this election year is God's plan, God definitely has a sense of humor.

Bill Clinton predicts that Obama will win. Then why was Bill blinking "vote for McCain" in code at the convention?

..Laugh at Previous Jokes..

Aw, Mark Russell just has consideration for his audience, and the horrendous risks they run if they were to get too excited by anything.

much like Tina Fey.

kiu, morbs, yr really telling it to us

Mark Russell, the buffered version of Mort Sahl.

This man is ever timely:

http://www.markrussell.net/

October 9, 2009

This is the best opening post ever.

I honestly did not know he was a real person, I thought he was just the Simpson character. I cry for you all.

He's the Lord Custos of Washington.

― Leon WK (Ex Leon)

From "A Bit About Mark" link on www.markrussell.net, as linked above by Ned The Magnificent:

Whenever Mark Russell is down in the dumps, he opens the newspaper and immediately cheers up. Practically everything he sees strikes him funny. “Some days,” he says, ‘the jokes jump off the pages and write themselves.”

Everything he sees is "funny". Jokes that "write themselves". Herein lies the key to MR's humor.

Sad. So very, very sad.

Maybe he gives into his soul-crushing angst and get plastered in seedy bars. Or not.

This is the best opening post ever.

Thank you, BTW. My feelings remain unchanged.

WELL LET'S SEE HERE:

9/20/12

Latest Republican campaign slogan: Mayday! Mayday!

So many cans of worms -- so little time. Romney says his job is not to worry about people who depend on the government for food, health care or housing. Apparently he is running for the job of monarch.

Why should the monarchlose sleep worrying about those lazy, free-loading homeless veterans?

Let them eat quiche. Remember when chardonnay and brie were hallmarks of Democrats?

Asked what he wears in bed, Mitt replied, :as little as possible." An all-purpose answer to just about any question put to him. What are you going to do for the 47 percent? See previous answer.

As Obama rehearses for the upcoming debates, the part of Romney will be played by John Kerry. The senator will play an effete candidate? Talk about typecasting.

I really have to assume at this point he stays up late each night watching Colbert obsessively and flinging his feces at the screen while shouting "BOXCAR!"

Is he the only piano "comedian" who stood while he played? He almost always stood and tinkled, right?

Hard to imagine him any other way.

Still, the reign of terror did end on one front:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing. I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.

It turned out to be a perfect night. My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time. They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it. A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.

And until now, only those friends and my family knew that I had decided to retire from performing.

I am still writing, and you will now see the website again updated on a regular basis with jokes. I am very 19th Century with technology, (I thought Dot Com was my maiden aunt) but I’m told it won’t be terribly difficult for me to record and get new songs posted and at the very least you’ll see the lyrics. I won’t be twitting – whoops, that’s twittering, but I won’t be doing that either.

They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.

"And it's a wonder I wasn't arrested."

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/digital-shorts/video/mark-russells-election-year-comedy-special/1354507/

lol i worked an event where this guy was one of the featured speakers last week

at least we've mostly managed to keep the Capitol Steps off TV.

"And until now, only those friends and my family noticed knew that I had decided to retire from performing."

He has a note now saying he's unretired, which I regard as a national calamity.

ANYWAY:

6/25/2013

I'll say this for Edward (catch me if you can) Snowden. He's building up a lot of frequent fugitive miles.

Where is he? Can we rule out Abbotabad, Pakistan as being too obvious?

Hint: His Navy Seal code name is Osama bin Snowden.

He snuck out of Hong Kong and went to Moscow. Considering that Super Bowl ring -- Putin probably won't give up Snowden either.

Snowden has a ticket from Moscow to Havana which isn't far from Guantanamo, so at least he'd be heading in the right direction.

Oh my god, HE'S STILL GOING:

What I learned from the debate -- and I knew you'd ask: The best way to beat ISIS is for General Douglas MacArthur to stop and frisk Rosie O'Donnell.

Both candidates appeared presidential but in Trump's case, President Mussolini.

If mugging and eye rolling were statesmanlike traits, Trump would be George Washington.

Moderator Lester Hold was missing for awhile. Did he duck out for a drink? They should have tied a yellow ribbon around his chair.

Trump made a snide remark about people who weigh 400 pounds. There goes Christie's support.

Hillary recalled her father being in the drapery business. Which may explain the red pants suit.

In the end, we are left with the question: where are Trump's tax returns? Maybe somebody should frisk Jimmy Hoffa.

It beats

Trump is humping the country, from sea to shining sea
Trump is humping the country, he's humping you and he's humping me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypymexDn6JM

Good fucking god.

fucking shit

STILL AT IT, JESUS CHRIST

White House physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson gave Trump a clean bill of physical and mental health. Or, as it is called in medical circles: Fake diagnosis.

No, I am not a doctor. Nor would I go to one named Ronny.

Paul Manafort's trial has been delayed until September which gives him more time to spend with the Russians.

The government could shut down at midnight on Friday. As they say in Hawaii, this is not a drill.

In the last minute scramble, how come nobody suggested paying for the beautiful wall with a going out of business sale?

Disregard that salacious allegation regarding Trump and a porn star. Perhaps she was being vetted to be the Senate chaplain.

"In the event of an attack, hide under a float," the political comedian Mark Russell advised chummily Tuesday evening, addressing an audience that appeared to be mildly shell-shocked by the early wave of inauguration ballyhoo. The avuncular satirist may be mining the quadrennial festivities for his usual brand of bipartisan humor -- "Mardi Gras with air cover" was the simile he came up with for the week's commotion -- but he's more or less participating in the frenzy himself: His one-man show, "Mark Russell: Comedy, Music, Bribery & Conspiracy," runs at Ford's Theatre through Jan. 23.For those who have missed the last 20-odd years of PBS specials: Russell has pretty much cornered the market on stand-up political satire with piano ditties. In his current engagement, his idiosyncratic comic format channels the realities of the 2004 campaign season and, more generally, the post-9/11 era. Tickling the keyboard of a grand piano whose blue and white trim echoes the arch patriotism of the backdrop (stars and an eagle), Russell serenades his audience with such ballads as "Hang Down Your Head, Dan Rather" (sung to the tune of "Tom Dooley") and "I'm Bombing Baghdad in the Morning" (sung to the tune of "Get Me to the Church on Time" from "My Fair Lady"). Arms stretched out to the ivories, he prances gently in place. Behind his glasses, his professorial expression -- exuding a sort of cranky benevolence -- lightens momentarily. His foot taps in its well-polished black shoe. His trademark bow tie bobs.And then he breaks off into nonmusical jokes, patter that ranges over the Swift boat controversy, the vice presidential debate, the opening of the Clinton Presidential Library, the war in Iraq ("We've liberated the Iraqis from Saddam and from electricity"), the death of Yasser Arafat and -- as if to prove that he's registered the most recent blips on the radar of middlebrow gossip -- Prince Harry's swastika armband.Not all of Russell's gags invoke the government or international relations. He riffs a little on his Catholic upbringing, cracks some witticisms about the baby boomers and sings a song bemoaning his own technological backwardness.* Remember when a blackberry was just a fruit? Russell does.*But politics provide this performer's raison d'etre, and he can be forgiven for turning his lens now and then on the very process of creating political satire: his difficulty, a few years back, in coming up with a Joycelyn Elders song, or the fact that Howard Dean's bid for the Democratic National Committee chairmanship will allow Russell to milk his Dean quips a little longer.*Ford's Theatre tends to make one reflect that, despite political trauma, America endures. In the very spot where John Wilkes Booth once pulled off a presidential assassination, Russell can now make jests about Bernard Kerik's nanny. *Nevertheless, in keeping with recent hand-wringing about the polarized electorate, Russell at one point kiddingly urged all the Bush voters and Kerry voters in his audience to engage in a group hug.

Yup, he's nomar.

STILL AT IT:

I have come out of retirement about ten times in the last six months. This week's reason: Greenland.

Rumors abound about Trump's desire to buy Greenland, the Maui of the north.

Yes, the surfing and the sunbathing would make Mar-a-Lago Greenland special.

Would Denmark be willing to throw in Iceland as a matched set?

Apparently not if Denmark's response is any indication: "Take your offer and shove it up your fjord."

It all comes back to me now. The mugging. The smirking. The bow tie. The clumsy piano-playing at the level of a kindergarten teacher leading her charges in a chorus of "The Eensie-Weensie Spider". The hokey delivery designed to MAKE YOU KNOW IT WAS FUNNY!

You may kill me now.

shove it up your fjord.....still got it

I thought this was going to be for an RIP.

I guess death would stop him but who knows.

Well...rest in silence, I guess.

Before he was born the world did not know how much it needed Mark Russell, but later on we found out.

Seeing some apparently genuine and heartfelt tributes to this "What if Tom Lehrer was Andy Borowitz?" clown on Twitter. All from other people I never found funny, though, so I guess it tracks.

I remember him from half-listening to NPR in the ‘80s, and from the Simpsons’ “Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington.” I just rewatched that episode, and decided to look at some actual Mark Russell clips. It’s…eerie. He starts out saying, “Whew, the election’s over!” and the audience laughs like he said something millions of times funnier than the funniest Richard Pryor moment. Intellectually, I know who his audience was; but the idea of encountering someone in real life who found him genuinely funny seems

…something. I’ll finish this thought later.

The NYT obit has bits both ridiculously stupid:

With his deadpan solemnity, stars-and-stripes stage sets and fusty bow ties, Mr. Russell looked more like a senator than a comic. But as the capital merry-go-round spun its peccadilloes, scandals and ballyhooed promises, his jaunty baritone restored order with bipartisan japes and irreverent songs to deflate the preening ego and the Big Idea.

...and completely 'what the':

Long before Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert exposed the illusions of virtue in Washington, there was Mark Ruslander from Buffalo, a college dropout and Marine Corps veteran who landed in the capital in 1956, changed his surname to Russell and began playing piano in striptease joints and bars.

He later inserted political wisecracks into his patter at the Carroll Arms cocktail lounge, near the Capitol. It was a hangout for Senator Joseph R. McCarthy and his sidekicks

Dude had a period of relevancy. He exploited it successfully. Props to him for that.

There was a narrow window in which his schtick resonated. When that ended, he receded from view. As he should.

I have no quarrel with him. I would be annoyed if he'd obnoxiously attempted to stay relevant past his sell-by date; there is no indication that he did so.

His schtick gave folks like me a mild chuckle or two, several decades ago. Speaking as a musician, I'd say that's a decent run. No need to belabor the topic further.