How do you know when someone in the service industry is actually hitting on you?

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Though this would apply to bartenders and waitresses/waiters, I was getting my hair cut the other day by a very chatty, flirty young lady. Turns out she went to beauty school in my hometown, just moved to Philadelphia, seemed lonely and nice, etc. At what point can I confidently assume that it's not just about a tip, and ask for her god damned phone number? I've only worked in offices, so I have no idea how this forbidden dance works, but from what friends tell me, if I fuck it up and get too prsumptuous, I'm going straight to hell. Help!! Will I be stuck going to Bubbles every two weeks until I figure this girl out? Am I the ultimate square sucker?

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

think of an excuse involving her just moving to the new city (e.g. taking her to see something of note) and suggest it the next time you get your hair cut

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:37 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's what I was thinking about doing. But I didn't know if she'd just laugh and laugh, then tell her bike courier boyfriend about what an idiot I am.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:43 (twenty years ago)

There is this guy at the bakery where I sometimes go and get coffee on my way to work, and he is always very friendly to me and makes sure to say hi and to tell me to have a nice day on my way out, whether he has been my clerk or not, and I just suspect! I suspect!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:46 (twenty years ago)

She was really Baltimore, I'm (shamefully) pretty DC. Can those two ever mix?

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:46 (twenty years ago)

i wonder about this one... i always seem to have little flirtations with check-out boys and it makes me wonder if i am only capable of flirting with them because i know there's little chance of seeing them again and i don't have to worry about what they think of me.

― tehresa (tehresa), Sunday, 17 April 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

I didn't know if she'd just laugh and laugh, then tell her bike courier boyfriend about what an idiot I am.

let's say she does.... would you really care? you haven't lost anything. alternatively, she might be overjoyed to make a new friend in a new city.

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:03 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, I know so many girls who work at clubs and bars, who go on and on about the pathetic, hopeless losers who hit on them while they work. I couldn't handle being one of those losers.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:08 (twenty years ago)

Instead you'll be a winner!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:10 (twenty years ago)

but you would never know if she was complaining about you?

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

Chris, just make a silly joke about it. Or casually mention some cool places. If she doesn't know about'em; laugh saying you'd gladly show her. If you don't risk it, you'll continue being the *loser*.

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:18 (twenty years ago)

Well, I wouldn't know for sure. But the idea of being some wandering doof who doesn't understand that people are nice to me for the money hurts me, even if it isn't true. That's why I want know how to tell when it's real.

On the more positive side, I got my first "bar conversation" phone number last night. I was so drunk that I assumed it couldn't be real, but nope, tried it today, it's genuine.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Sunday, 17 April 2005 07:19 (twenty years ago)

I'd say take the opportunity of saying, in much the same way as Nathalie suggests, that you'd be pleased to show her a few places if she'd like. It is a natural thing for someone to say, nothing to be sneered at in any way, and gives her the opportunity to offer some reason why not or say 'yeah, that'd be good'.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 17 April 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't know about the service industry, but I think three of the bank tellers at my local credit union have crushes on me.

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Sunday, 17 April 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

this is SO much harder when you're a f@g

― Vic in Alderaan (Vic), Sunday, 17 April 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

When I ignore you, don't smile, don't pay any attention to you, look at you. Then Yes, I have a crush on you. Why don't you ask me for my phone number? fools.

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 18 April 2005 11:38 (twenty years ago)

You need to see if she's just as chatty and seemingly interested in you outside of work. So you need to run into her somewhere and start talking to her. This is called "stalking".

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 18 April 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

i get some vibes from this dude who works at f00dsw1ngs. i should work this to my advantage to milk him for all the free buffalo wings he's worth!

― joseph (joseph), Monday, 18 April 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

you never go home with the help. at least i never do. : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 18 April 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

dating bartenders = very bad idea

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 18 April 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

but if you just want hot sex and free drinks, then ok!

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 18 April 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

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