is it wrong to end a relationship if you have only slept with that one person in your whole life

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even though you think that one person youve slept with is the best thing that ever happened to you, but you cant seem to be totally with her, cos you think you need to live a little more and be with other women before you can decide to be with just the one? i fear i will regret this and become a lonely outcast never to have sex again.

― joydivider, Monday, 18 April 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

Ans: Sex gets better/more diverse in style, the longer you have it w/the same person.

As opposed to the same 'entry level' shag with new partners.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

Work out if you actually WANT/NEED to fuck other women, or if you just feel you should in the eyes of the world. If you can, that is. Actually fuck that Mark's answer was better

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

i fear i will regret this and become a lonely outcast never to have sex again.

HI DERE!

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

I think it sounds right and good, but I don't think that Mark's answer is necessarily true.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

No it's not wrong. You can't really ascribe labels like 'right' or 'wrong' to these situations as everyone's circumstances are different. Just beware that if you did decide to end the relationship it guarantees you nothing re more sex with more people thus more 'happiness'.

― $V£N! (blueski), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

You could suggest a break from each other maybe though unless your gf feels the same I doubt that would result in anything other than an actual break-up.

― $V£N! (blueski), Monday, 18 April 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Oh, yeah, if I was your sig other I'd break up with you permanently, even just if I found out you were THINKING this way. You will not automatically find Kama Sutra-style diversity if you have sex with other people; but you and your partner will not automatically exhaust your curiosity either.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

many people seem all too concerned with quantity more than quality don't they?

― $V£N! (blueski), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

Ans: Sex gets better/more diverse in style, the longer you have it w/the same person.
As opposed to the same 'entry level' shag with new partners.
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), April 18th, 2005 2:52 PM. (mark grout) (later)

Ans: Sex, mark?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

No thanks.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

"Ans:" is the archaic spelling of "Anus", yes?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

Sex gets better/more diverse in style, the longer you have it w/the same person

Define "longer." Six months? Yeah, OTM. Six years? Most ridiculous thing I've heard all week.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

many people seem all too concerned with quantity more than quality don't they?
Fuck that when you can have the quality be synonymous with quantity!

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

If the sole basis for ending your relationship is the fact that you want to bone other chicks, I'm not sure if it's "wrong," but it does seem a bit foolish.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

xpost 6 years? And the rest...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

but experience is experience isnt it? isnt experience always valuable? i think my belief in that is whats perhaps not allowing me to fully commit.

― joydivider, Monday, 18 April 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

isnt experience always valuable?

no.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Does the sex seem like it's good, at least? I mean you don't need to try vietnamese food to know whether or not you like pizza.

I had one partner who was probably objectively better in bed than my current gf, but it's really not the most important thing. And even with that, love makes the sex better in a different way than just objectively hot boning does.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

I have to admit I've never had the experience of killing someone but you know, I think I can skip that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

Here's a tale.

When I was in Junior school, there was a project to do with mediaeval times. The top lad decided it would be good to make a mosaiac of a knight's memorial, so we got lots of small tiles and made this, it took 2 weeks or thereabouts, but when it was done, it looked fantastic.

Next day, a couple of the lads who were shall we say at the bottom of the 'achievement' list, always trouble etc, were inspired by this, and asked me to help them make one as well. However, this proved to be beyond us, and what we ended up with was disappointing to say the least.

I think that's the moral that applies here.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Ned you don't think you'd learn a THING from that?

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Are you quoting Jack Handey?

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Y'know, IF it happened, don't go stalking victims (x)(post)

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

i tend to think that sometimes issues with sex tend to not be the problem, but a symptom or a side-effect of the problem. therefore, i'd guess that there are other reasons why you want to leave that have less to do with sex than you're implying. and yes, it's fine. you should explore & be who you are & see what is out there in the world. those decisions are tough, which is why you're thinking that you might be making a big mistake. you still may feel that way at times, but ultimately, you're probably doing something really good for yourself in the end. you'll grow & learn & should this current relationship be the one, the big One, she/it will come back to you.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

I doubt that!

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Monday, 18 April 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

in answer to the original question, my own experience is this:
met a great guy at age 18, third guy I'd slept with
age 24: freak out over similar issues and break up
age 25: come to my senses, beg him to take me back. Sex gets even better.
age 29: marry him, sex gets exponentially better.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

.. and then you get mentioned tons of times on the "1 ILXor" thread that's running at the moment?

(That's you not me obv)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

"Variety is the only true aphrodisiac."

-Dr Johnson

― andy ---, Monday, 18 April 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, but what was his idea of variety? "Today the milkmaid, tomorrow the bar wench, Sunday the milkmaid again..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

what a playa

― $V£N! (blueski), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

That's what he says to all the girls to get in their butt.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

With that logic (above), it seems you should have sex with every single female/male/animal in the world before you decide which one is right for you. And you'd probably die in the process, or things would start falling off.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

I think you'd get bored first

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

I vaguely remember this thing that was on the radio some years ago where someone was trying to have as much sex as they could in a certian timeframe for some world record. I was pretty young so didn't really know what it meant, but I remember the DJs laughing about and talking about the line a guys there were out front.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

Annabelle Chong?

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Monday, 18 April 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

Sex gets better/more diverse in style, the longer you have it w/the same person

Define "longer." Six months? Yeah, OTM. Six years? Most ridiculous thing I've heard all week.

I don't about that Kenan, I think in a long-term relationship the sex HAS to change/get better/kinkier or else it will get boring and stop altogether.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 18 April 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

"Variety is the only true aphrodisiac."

-Dr Johnson

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Failing that, roofies." -Henry Kissinger

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 18 April 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I was going to say, Kenan, have you even been in a relationship for six years? Because maybe those of us who, you know, have, might know better.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 18 April 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

That came out more bitchy-sounding than intended. It's supposed to read as a friendly ribbing.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 18 April 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

*reflects that the longest relationship yet involved in lasted one and three quarter years, feels extremely depressed, moves on*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 18 April 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

Do you not want to sleep with her because you're better looking than she is?

― Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Monday, 18 April 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

In my humble opinion, if I'm going to get all freaknasty experimental in the bedroom, it's going to be with the person I'm in a relationship with, not with someone who just so happens to spin my wheels on impulse. If I'm afraid/inhibited/can't try out my fantasies with the person I'm with, I think I'm with the wrong person.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 18 April 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine ended a relationship for this reason, in a sort of kneejerk way. He then freaked out and thought he'd done the wrong thing, but the girl told him where to go when he tried to patch it up. I think in the long run he must feel he made the right decision, even though when he was lonely afterwards he didn't think that way. He's now seeing someone else and his life generally has been alot more free since the breakup. I suspect the impulse wasn't a totally foolish thing.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 18 April 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

It's supposed to read as a friendly ribbing

Like those "for her added pleasure" condoms?

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 18 April 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Ronan OTM.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 18 April 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

(hang on, what did I just say?)

(;))

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 18 April 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

*reflects that the longest relationship yet involved in lasted one and three quarter years, feels extremely depressed, moves on*

thats very close to how long mine is.

"In my humble opinion, if I'm going to get all freaknasty experimental in the bedroom, it's going to be with the person I'm in a relationship with, not with someone who just so happens to spin my wheels on impulse. If I'm afraid/inhibited/can't try out my fantasies with the person I'm with, I think I'm with the wrong person. "

same for me, but i cant help thinking that im always gonna have doubts about what its like to be with other people if ive never done it and am only with one person ever. its not right, i feel shallow about it, but what can i do? thats my gut feeling about it all. theres some other probs in the relationship too, a lot of antagonising each other, which may or not be partly fuelled by my need to explore/experience some more, but maybe its other things too. i suppose if this was the really most perfect relationship ever, maybe i would stay in it. i dont know. or maybe im just an ungrateful bastard, destined never to be fulfilled.

"A friend of mine ended a relationship for this reason, in a sort of kneejerk way. He then freaked out and thought he'd done the wrong thing, but the girl told him where to go when he tried to patch it up. I think in the long run he must feel he made the right decision, even though when he was lonely afterwards he didn't think that way. He's now seeing someone else and his life generally has been alot more free since the breakup. I suspect the impulse wasn't a totally foolish thing."

this is exactly what im going through right now. maybe ive made the worst mistake of my life, i cant help thinkng maybe i will never find someone as loving ever again, and i miss her terribly to the point of depression at the moment, but at the same time, im thinking maybe this is the right thing as things werent always that happy when we were together. i loved her madly even though we didnt always/often? get along that well as we could/should have. perhaps it just wasnt meant to be, fuck knows. sometimes peoples tempraments when put together dont always go that well with one another. im probably rambling here, but i just wanted to write this somewhere i think to clear my mind a little.

― joydivider, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

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