Do straight men jack off about every woman except the women in their immediate families

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DISCUSS

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Not while Germaine Greer's on telly.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

Every Woman!!! That's a lot of women. I would never get the dishes washed if that were the case.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

Just the naked ones

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

It's "to" not "about", I think. As a rule. Also it's more like it could be any woman (almost), but no not every woman. Geez. See Scott's reply.

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

"To"? Only if they're in the room, surely. Do you people always need an object for yr wanking? Why not go freeform for a change?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

Takes too long

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, there's too many unhott ones to jack off to them all.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Thursday, 21 April 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

crooked men jack off too you kno'!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

and square!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

a-a-a-and round ones!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

to say nuthin of the perpendicular, uhuh.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

let alone the horizontal, haha.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Definitely any girl I know who's remotely attractive -- and this much more so than celebrities or models. Lately I feel like I've "run out."

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

Not me.

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

"immediate family" doesn't include cousins, right?

― not telling!, Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHAHA.

My original answer was going to be "Except?"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

Adopted cousins DEF don't count (yay)

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

If cousins are legal to bone, they're certainly legal to think about boning.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 21 April 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

I definitely have a repertoire of girls I know that I've gotten quite a lot of mileage out of -- some of whom I haven't even seen in years, but they're still in the canon.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

The canon. I love it.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

It's sort of exciting while in the process of jerking off someone new will come to mind and I'll be like, "oh totally! why haven't I thought of her before! good one!"

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

but they're still in the canon.

Target practice?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

boo

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

This begs a lot of questions.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

It's sort of exciting while in the process of jerking off someone new will come to mind and I'll be like, "oh totally! why haven't I thought of her before! good one!"

-- jaymc

The difficult thing for me lately is that my circle of friends has been static for a long time, and I don't really have "co-workers" per se (at least not ones anywhere within the right age range). The other day I actually met a new really cute girl, and then couldn't remember well enough what she looked like.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Sigh. Oh to be back in college again.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Go walking more

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

? Random women on the street don't work as well as ones you see in class every day. More difficult to construct mental scenarios.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

80%.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I have that horrible condition when I forget what the woman I'm thinking of looks like halfway during the vinegar strokes, though.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I was about to disagree then I remembered this one girl in my last Philosophy class, oh GOD. Her boyf was ugly, too. Etc etc

― Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if dolphins jerk off thinking about dolphins they met somewhere years ago? They're very intelligent, you know.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 21 April 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

(Then again, their flippers don't reach their genitals, so it must be pretty difficult. Maybe that's why they're always jumping about like that.)

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 21 April 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

a anon thread on dolphin ile: "I just swam with a human, and now I wish a tuna net would come along"

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 21 April 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

i can't believe no one has questioned the 'except'. hey, i'm not about to, you fucking pervert. i oughtta kick your ass for that.

― Lee F# (fsharp), Thursday, 21 April 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

weird, I don't recall ever tossing one off to a friend or close acquaintance (that I wasn't dating or thinking about dating).

My female cousins are all pretty rough, so no worries there.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 21 April 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if dolphins jerk off thinking about dolphins they met somewhere years ago? They're very intelligent, you know.

this is a lyric from your upcoming album, isn't it

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 21 April 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Since they're so smart, they probably resort to wankery daisy chains.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 21 April 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

For about a minute, both mammals stood their ground. Peter gave in. He swam into Sagan's side of the tank, circling him, repeatedly brushing past him. This puzzled Sagan. It didn't seem like the dolphin's tail flukes had brushed him. Then he realized the dolphin had a hard-on.

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Thursday, 21 April 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

this is a lyric from your upcoming album, isn't it

You know, that would make a fantastic start to an album:

Do dolphins jerk off
Thinking of dolphins
They once met years ago?
I know they're bright
But their flippers can't quite
Touch their private parts, you know

"Dolphins", from the forthcoming Momus album The Friendly Album (quoted by permission of Sony Music Japan).

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 22 April 2005 08:27 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

this thread died prematurely

― gershy, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:07 (eighteen years ago)

not according to anybody who ever tried to argue with Momus

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:07 (eighteen years ago)

if you wanna troll, you gonna gotta troll with him

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:08 (eighteen years ago)

g'night

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:08 (eighteen years ago)

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