Meet your new Superman

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http://www.newsarama.com/movies/SupesHi_001.jpg

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

...no.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

The shield needs to be way bigger.

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

He doesn't even look primed to take on Reb Brown in Captain America. Is this supposed to be countercasting against Tobey McGuire?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

That's not the only thing!

x-post

― Leon Future Coffee (Ex Leon), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

FWIW, he does look better as Clark Kent.

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

see here: http://editorial.gettyimages.com/source/search/FrameSet.aspx?s=ImagesSearchState|0|0|30|0|0|0|1|||0|0|0|0|0|0|0|0|7|brandon+routh|0|0|0|0&p=7

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

That's not the only thing!

Why Leon, surely it's how you fly that counts. Maybe it reduces his drag in the air.

said by the way baby what's your name
said i go by the name of lois lane
and you could be my boyfiend you surely can
just let me quit my boyfriend called superman
i said he's a fairy i do suppoose
flyin through the air in pantyhose
he may be very sexy or even cute
but he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
i said you need a man who's got finesse
and his whole name across his chest
he may be able to fly all through the night
but can he rock a party til the early light
he cant satisfy you with his little worm
but i can bust you out with my super sperm

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

Superman has no bulge in his trunks at all => any actor wanting the role should be prepared to have their genitals chopped off.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

This explains the tender melancholy in Christopher Reeve's face in Superman II's love scene.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

i, for one, think it's about time that someone broke hollywood's castrato barrier.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Oh mark, how could you have forgotten this gem?
http://homepage.mac.com/vanvdo/images/Farinelli_000.jpg

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

ah yes, the original screwed and chopped.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

*dies*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

hey, at least they haven't added nipples to his costume.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Look at his lithe waist!

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

seriously, that is one crappy ass superman.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

if the shield were bigger it would dwarf his skinny chest! That's a bad angle though, to be fair.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

he has a bum chin.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

i think i need to actually see the super-ass before my final judgment.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

what kind of superman is vulnerable to bad angles?! this guy's a wuss. "oh, what, there's crime? yes, just one second, i got some shampoo in my eye." someone should start a petition to get his 'super' rescinded.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

"This looks like a job for... man!"

(cut to shot of crooked painting)

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

Mark you are on fire today.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

Is this actor a famous American?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

his belt is cool.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Is that Jack Braff?

― n!ckal!c!ous, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

I know clark is supposed to be an emo dork but this guy is just this side of rivers cuomo.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

There's, like, leather all over that costume?!? And what's up with those boots?

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

You should see what he looked like before he started his training regimen...
http://city2surf.sunherald.com.au/images/nutrition_superman.jpg

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

Leather is a huge conceptual mistake - the reason his costume doesn't get totally destroyed every time he goes into action is because it's made from the blankets in which he was wrapped in that little rocket ship, i.e. it's Kryptonian too. Do we now have to believe that his parents swaddled their little baby in leather? Or that they put a cow in with him, and it's now died and made super-leather? Because otherwise, all that stuff won't last five minutes => nudist Superman.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

The cape looks like shit.

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

It was a magical alien calf that came along for the ride.

x-post

― Leon Future Coffee (Ex Leon), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Jel, you're not irritated by the redundancy of his "S" belt buckle? He either thinks humans are stupid and could have missed the giant fuckoff "S" on his chest or assumes we're just not looking beyond his speedos.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

Hey guys! Cut it out! Aw, man...

― Superman (for reals) (sugarpants), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Fuck that, keep the belt, drop the Chest S.

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

No, this is your new Superman.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

http://theages.superman.ws/BookShop/seventies/catsup.jpg

― Huk-L, Friday, 22 April 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

yeah, Kim, but the S on the belt is a negative of the S on the chest, that's nifty.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

I like how in that panel the S shield normally on the butt of his costume has moved to the chair.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

ah, so his shorts are like the away team? super.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Superman of the 50's!

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Friday, 22 April 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

Is that Jack Braff?

Dude, learn to type Nick!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 22 April 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

http://img260.exs.cx/img260/3648/newsupermanman5hs.th.jpg

Clark Kent, post-emo.

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 23 April 2005 03:15 (twenty years ago)

Who the fuck decided that all superheroes need to look like they're swathed in super sculpey? Have we learned nothing from the X-Men movie?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 23 April 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

lol

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

OMG, the Internet wins!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

"Some of the Donner-shot sequences, those featuring Marlon Brando, are already to be inserted in Bryan Singer's forthcoming Superman Returns."

say what? how tf will this work?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

it's called EDITING.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

so singer is making a period 'superman', set in the late 70s?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Supposedly it picks up from Superman II or something. Superman's been in space, and then he RETURNS.
Is Jackie Cooper still alive, even?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

miles better...
http://www.screencaptures.net/h/hslater07.jpg

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

miles better...
http://www.screencaptures.net/h/hslater07.jpg

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Apparently, the dismal failure of the 1984 Supergirl movie was directly responsible for DC's decision to KILL the character in Crisis On Infinite Earths in 1985.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Which means Catwoman better watch her back!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

It was a hit in my eyes, probably for all the wrong reasons though.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

ihttp://media.movieweb.com/galleries/482/2099/hi/superman_04.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/superman_04_resize.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

He's got that smug look down.

― Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gentleee as you move (Leee), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

PARKER POSEY???????

― Dan (FUCK YOU, HOLLYWOOD, I WANTED TO SKIP THIS MOVIE) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

that really is perfect casting.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

spacey, i mean.

i like how the bad guys are all dressed as BAD GUYS in BAD GUY clothing.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

They got the cameraman in the shot. Fools.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

KUMAR?

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

Kumar IS Ned Beatty!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Usher as Lamar.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 December 2005 07:07 (twenty years ago)

apropos of nothing, the current imdb msg board titles(and usernames) on the "Superman Returns" page:

Alternate(fantsay) Superman Cast and Crew.	    score_say_see	
D.C defeats MARVEL	     InflictPain	
Haters Suck	     tquinlan-1	
Brandon Rouths Body!	     david_ar	
Who would win between Goku and Superman?    khantrol

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 8 December 2005 07:13 (twenty years ago)

Goku, duh.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 December 2005 07:16 (twenty years ago)

david-ar as in David R.???

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 8 December 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

What's with people today? A John Lennon hater thread AND a Superman hater thread? Grumpy! Look people, the weekend's ALMOST HERE.
I will see this movie.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 8 December 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Who's hating?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 8 December 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

That photo is somehow wrong.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 December 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

haha I cropped about 15 px off each end so that it would appear on this thread rather than as a link... are you really princess-and-the-pea-ing the aspect ratio???

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 8 December 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

wait wait wait - so Parker Posey is Lois Lane...? I admit that still photo does give me hope. I don't like Spacey much at all, but I can see him doing well in the role, easily.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 8 December 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Parker Posey is Ms. Tessmacher or a similar role. Some O.C./Teen People type is Lois Lane.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 8 December 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

ah yes... Kate Bosworth. Too bad, I can totally see Parker as Lois. Oh well.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 8 December 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

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