sezures

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i have had this seizure condition for about two years, undiagnosed, mostly i fall over, sometimes i have grand mals. i also forget things, and twice in the last few weeks have shit myelf.

ive lost my apartnemt, lost my job, lost my toronto life, back at home with my parents--its a weird conflation of pyschological and physical factors, no one has any idea what to do about it...

ive been working on applying for disability and i have an intake interview tomorrow, and im having a panic attack right now, desperate to have a life, and humilated that i have to depend on the government to feed me and clothe me and all of that stuff.

plus i just want this gone and it doesnt look like its going to happen.
i know its all ego, all the im such a victim threads i post, and it seems a cheap love me drama queen moment and i dont know why im starting this thread at all but i need to get it out.

― anthony, Monday, 25 April 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

If it is epilepsy, it can be pretty successfully controlled with medication. Have you been to see a neurologist about this? Maybe if you felt more in control of your condition, you wouldn't be feeling so awful. Diagnosis is imperative though.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Monday, 25 April 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

well we have tried a couple of drugs and tehy were not helpful--and we are working on diagnosis, but i have had ct scans, mris, eegs, the whole nine yards--the only thing left is telemetry, which i have been waiting about a year for.

― anthony, Monday, 25 April 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to get a handle on it. A friend of mine who developed epilepsy after a car crash had a similar experience to you, in that it took quite some time to stabilise her condition (about 2 years I think). But once her neurologist found the right level of medication, she's been pretty much like her old self again. I think she's only had one seizure in three years since then. Hang in there.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Monday, 25 April 2005 08:28 (twenty years ago)

anthony, this is terrible news and my heart goes out to you but hopefully they can find the right drugs to treat you. I used to have mild panice attacks (very mild compared to what you are describing) that was controlled by anti anxiety medication. this is probably no help at all i just want you to know that i'm thinking of you.

Much love! x

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 25 April 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

ant, what seizure meds did they try and what were the problems? Don't feel bad about your situation or your anxiety. You've got a lot on your plate! And disability doesn't have to be a permanent thing. While you get your illness sorted and managed it makes sense to use every bit of help available.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 05:11 (twenty years ago)

do whatcha gotta do to get by. we'll be here with support and dumb jokes if need be.

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 05:20 (twenty years ago)

Woah Anthony, that's spectacularly crappy. You know how to reach me if you wanna talk. I'm thousands of miles away, but if there's anything I can do...

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 05:52 (twenty years ago)

i got turned down for alberta disability, because apparently i can cook, shower, walk a block, etc and because it is not diagnosed, it is not consdiered permanet and severe.

also she could not pronouce the word pseudo

― anthony, Tuesday, 26 April 2005 06:04 (twenty years ago)

what did she say??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 06:21 (twenty years ago)

pah sway dow

― anthony, Tuesday, 26 April 2005 06:25 (twenty years ago)

Much love to you, Ant xoxox

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

are you a drinker? there's a big connection there.

― llll, Wednesday, 27 April 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

pah sway dow

...the hell?

seriously though, hope things work out for you

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 00:40 (twenty years ago)

just saw this thread...

can you appeal disability in alberta? i'd heard that if you have physical stuff in combo with psychological stuff like panic attacks (which could actually be both, but whatever), you have a better chance for being approved. in the us, anyway.

it makes it really really tricky if you have something that's undiagnosed or not well understood. and it's so disheartening to be even considering disability, because the whole concept of having to be so dependent is depressing. but sometimes you just need it, pride be damned.

anyway, i'm around on aim.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Anthony, you already know how incredibly crappy I think the Albertan governmental "official" who handled your case was for not only rejecting your application but rejecting it in the most maddening way. OF COURSE you deserve disability! I'm generally wary about most people who apply for diability, but even *I* know that you are just too ill to NOT be "disabled". Anyway, I'm glad Julia's around here -- maybe she can assist you further with things. Things that will give you that which you do deserve, i.e. an approved application & connected benefits.

― Goodbye Indian Summer (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

are you a drinker? there's a big connection there.

You serious? I used to have grand mal seizures and stopped around the time I started drinking!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 11:31 (twenty years ago)

this is when i'm happy i live in belgium: no matter what you'll get some money (if not disability, then minimum *survival amount*). i can't believe they rejected your appeal for disability. *hugs* even though i realize that doesn't really do much good. :-(((((

― nathalie in a bar under the sea (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

i drink about as much as the r est of the world (about 4 a week)

― anthony, Wednesday, 27 April 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Well I'm not familiar with the American system but I know in America it's pretty standard to reject your first try. They kinda want to say no and then see if you're really serious and appeal.

Keep trying.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 14:31 (twenty years ago)

Well I'm not familiar with the American system but I know in America it's pretty standard to reject your first try. They kinda want to say no and then see if you're really serious and appeal.

I know this is how it's done on the national level, but would this happen on a statewide basis? Or is all government the same? Because if that's the case, then Anthony seems to have a good chance to get his disability on a provincial level. His case seems solid instead of a way of using the system.

― Goodbye Indian Summer (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 28 April 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

SSI disability is federal, not state. I'm unaware of any state disability in TX.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 28 April 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

i just fell down the stairs, then pissed myself, im bruised but not too badly, thanks be to god

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 2 July 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

any luck in finding the help you need for this, anthony?

― donut e- (donut), Saturday, 2 July 2005 07:15 (twenty years ago)

none at all. i dont think its getting worse, just scarier

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 2 July 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

Ant Im so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. Please keep at the medical experts - someone will find a solution for you, dont lose heart, you're a good guy.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 2 July 2005 07:59 (twenty years ago)

Did the unemployment folk offer you advice for where you could get a job that allowed you to fall down stairs and piss yourself? Or are they finally giving you money?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 2 July 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

im getting about 150/mo from the dole, cause i have no expenses, living at home--waiting on aish

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 2 July 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Anthony, take care of yourself. I'm glad you're doing relatively ok.

Do you feel like you can tell when you're about to have one?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 2 July 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

$150 (CANADIAN) a month? I thought it was supposed to be a socialist paradise? Sheesh. Best of luck, mang.

― get to thA CHOPPA / A++++++ SELLER (ex machina), Saturday, 2 July 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

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