Knocking women up...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

So... I may have an offer to knock up a woman. This sounds like a good thing, right? I mean, what guy wouldn't love an offer to do it (more than once) with a cute girl? She's early 30s, attractive in a French way (which she is), and smart. I'm early 20s, attractive in a French way (I'm not), and can do long division really quickly in my head.

She wants to have a baby, without having a husband. This is fine by me, she has a nice family/friend support system, is financially independent – all good, right? No financial commitment required, great! My question is... should I do this? I mean, sure, it would be fun... but what about technicalities/ramifications? What is the etiquette for knocking a girl up?

Should I get some kind of document saying that she absolves me of responsibility? Would it be a good thing to be somewhat interested? I mean, I don't want to be involved as a father figure, but it might be nice to have a photo once a year to see how he/she/it is growing up? Is this a good idea, a bad idea? Does anyone have any criticisms or advice to offer? Yes, that'll be all, thanks!

― unm..., Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

Should I get some kind of document saying that she absolves me of responsibility? Depending on where you are, this may not mean much.

Why does she want your baby but not you?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Once the baby is born, do you think you could just shut it off your mind?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

If you're calling it "knocking up", it's probably a bad idea.

― Leon Jones Reynolds (Ex Leon), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Because if I'd be in a similar situation, it might be hard for me to just forget I have a kid somewhere.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Does she have any sexually-transmitted diseases?

This entire thing SCREAMS "bad idea run away" to me.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Leon OTM.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Dan Perry also OTM.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Matthew OTM

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

Tell her you'll consider it but you want to 'practice' alot first.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Hope you enjoy the lawsuits!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

you stoopid fool if you are in the UK, you will be left with a big dent in your pay packet for 18 + years. If will the most expensive shag and mistake of your life !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

Je4nne OTM.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

Wait, I'm not OTM at all?!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

I'm really good at this!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine has two 'turkey baster' babies (as she puts it) from sperm she got at a sperm bank. Tell your friend this the best way to do it. I don't want to sound all red-state here, but, since in many places you're going to be responsible for a child up to its 18th birthday, you shouldn't be siring kids unless you really want to father them as well, not just 'cause of the money but for the mental and moral health of the kid, you, and the mom.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

As has been more succinctly pointed out by others, the possible pitfalls and pratfalls of fathering a child in the expectation that it is nothing more than a lark, are manifold, whereas the expected benefits appear to be no more than a few orgasms, which are generally rated rather cheap in the overall scheme of the universe - being available free of charge in wholesale quantities from reputable sources.

IOW, your price is way too low to cover your liabilities.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

do it, and in eighteen years, show him/her this thread.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas OT(Whiny)M.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

ha ha, mark!!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 28 April 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

No no... I don't know know the mother-to-be. We aren't friends. It's odd that I may have this opportunity at all.

It's not that I don't want a baby. It's just that I haven't found a wife to have one with. This woman wants a baby, but sans husband.

Obviously STDs are of some concern. She'd have to have a test done beforehand.

I couldn't just shut the baby out of my mind - unless I never knew if she became pregnant or not. If it was a week of sex and then goodbye, and I never saw her again, then I could easily be a father without knowing better.

Also, is there any way to make certain that I won't feel the punch for it? I mean, not knowing her very well, I can't say for certain that she'd honor her "no financial strings" pledge. Although she does make enough to take care of herself (and several children) more than well enough.

― unm..., Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Are you David Crosby?

― andy --, Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

It's possible to do this, but if you do it without BOTH of you hiring lawyers, the baby will have at least one damn fool idiot for a biological parent.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Well, no financial strings means no financial strings. If she hired a lawyer who wrote out the paperwork for ... okay okay, you are all correct. This is getting to be too much trouble for me. A weekend of doing it, great... all of this legal stuff, not so great.

― unm..., Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

yeah if you did it legally and signed away all parental rights, I don't think you could be held financially responsible. However, I would think when you got older it might nag at you.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

i was just thinking about this. how people go into one-night stands thinking it will be easy with no feelings or repercussions and are often (or often enough) wrong. i'd think adding a kid makes for weird, unexpected feelings x1000.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

i'd think adding a kid makes for weird, unexpected feelings x1000.

Like discovering your inner pedophile?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

don't do this, you will lose track of her, and 20 years from now when you are a dirty old man, you will pick up a girl in a bar and sex her, and she will turn out to be your daughter, and you will find out and have to kill yourself.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

Wilson sisters to thread! (ewww pervy xpost)

Also, I think the etiquette of "knocking a girl up" is to not refer to the act as "knocking a girl up".

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

Exactly. Unless you're 12, and then it's probably a bad idea to knock girls up at that age.

― Leon Jones Reynolds (Ex Leon), Thursday, 28 April 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

The proper terminology is "knocking bitches up."

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

Kyle, are you Alan Keyes?

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

(Speaking of which, last night I passed a car with two bumper stickers: 1) ALAN KEYES FOR U.S. SENATE, 2) LOVE HEALS ... haha, it doesn't heal when you've disowned your daughter for being a lesbian!!)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

Hahahahaha Kyle's post!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

If she wants your genes for some specific reason and you're getting something out of this aside from ass, offer to do it the sperm bank/artificial insemination way. That should put a few more obstacles in the path of future legal and emotional responsibility on your part.

If you're just in it for the sex, run away now.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

If there's nothing in it for you other than getting laid, have ONE WANK and forget this INCREDIBLY BAD IDEA

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

I only know for NZ, but here if you actually have sex you are the father and responsible, if you donate sperm for that specific person then you are not. Odd. In either case a lawyer seems like a good idea.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

This is a lot of work for a situation that could be alleviated/avoided with single wank.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

Or, indeed, multiple wanks - there's no need to stop at one.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 28 April 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

Or, indeed, multiple wanks - there's no need to stop.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 28 April 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.geraldpeary.com/interviews/jkl/linklater-julie.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 28 April 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

"ladeeez to put babeeez in" etc

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 28 April 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

I'm gettin that big chill feelin.

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 29 April 2005 06:20 (twenty years ago)

Well if Julie Delpy doesn't put him off the idea of making babies, there's just no justice in the world.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 April 2005 07:18 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

So, what happened here, I wonder?

― clotpoll, Sunday, 25 March 2007 08:01 (nineteen years ago)

http://espn-att.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/brady_moynahan.jpg

― gershy, Sunday, 25 March 2007 08:06 (nineteen years ago)

Still knocking

― nathalie, Sunday, 25 March 2007 08:08 (nineteen years ago)

bad idea from every aspect. Someone will get hurt no matter what.

― Wiggy Woo, Sunday, 25 March 2007 09:09 (nineteen years ago)

Not if you do it properly.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 25 March 2007 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/1458/kufj0.jpg

― ▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Sunday, 25 March 2007 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

The answer is: I would get an abortion. With all my force, I would attempt to get him to foot the bill.

― Abbott, Sunday, 25 March 2007 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

I think this was made up.

― chap, Sunday, 25 March 2007 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

i have a crush on seth rogen, so, yeah, bring it on

― homosexual II, Sunday, 25 March 2007 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

Writers must think Katherine Heigl has low standards. That Denny dude, Seth Rogen, the dumpy guy from Grey's Anatomy.

― milo z, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:18 (nineteen years ago)

there is a rugby player he is almost identical to, and i'm trying to work out who

― unfished business, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:19 (nineteen years ago)

or was it just rory mcgrath

― unfished business, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:19 (nineteen years ago)

or this cricketer

http://im.rediff.com/cricket/2004/oct/19cairns.jpg

― unfished business, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

you seem to enjoy wondering and typing

― estela, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:31 (nineteen years ago)

chundering and wiping more like amirite

― unfished business, Sunday, 25 March 2007 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

Denny was dope, poor Izzy!

― nickalicious, Monday, 26 March 2007 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.