The False Etymology Thread

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index ['in-"deks] noun: a number showing the value of a financial asset, or in broader terms, the state of the economy as a whole: this stock index has fallen. Derived through abbreviation and contraction of industry and export, these being the two main components of the first economic index that was defined.

diaper ['dI-p&r] noun (chiefly Amer.): a baby's nappy. From Greek dia "through" and Latin per "through", jocularly and hyperbolically describing the movement of wearer's urine through early, low-quality specimens.

intravenous ["in-tr&-'vE-n&s] adjective: performed by way of a vein: intravenous feeding. From Latin in "leading to", phonetic link -t- and ravenous, describing the physical state such feeding leads to.

Make up more!

― OleM (OleM), Friday, 29 April 2005 08:43 (twenty years ago)

call (kôl) Verb: To cause to come to the mind or to attention, often rudely. From Old French cailleux, from Latin callosus, from callum, hard skin

my (mi) adj.: The possessive form of I. Origin of this word is a reference to male's possession of a Y-chromosome. Coined by Shakespheare in play A midsummer night's dream "Doth for my, maketh i, who doth with the desire for thee, my darling ass"

bluff (bluf) Verb: To impress, deter, or intimidate by a false display of confidence. From compound word German Blumenruffen literally Flower Rough, covering the undesirable with an impressive mirage.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

examination noun: a test of knowledge. From an Oxford University tradition of giving students a ceremonial meal of eggs and ham immediately prior to sitting their finals papers.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

elephantsn., pl.: large, five-toed pachyderms characterised by a long, prehensile trunk formed of the nose and upper lip. From elep (Sanskrit: forbidden, excluded) and Hants (English county from which the creatures were banned in 1971).

leopardn.: large spotted Asian or African carnivore of the cat family. From Le Op (Popular French TV game show depicting live vasectomies) and ARD (Munich-based German broadcasting organisation who bought the aforementioned show and then prudishly replaced operating theatre footage with archive of big cats at play).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

payday noun: the day of the month on which employees of an organisation receive their wages or salary. From medieval French p'aidez, meaning "Help me! (with money!)"

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

cherubic adj.: descriptive of a state of bliss or angelic contentment. From an incident involving the solving of a popular 80s cube-puzzle by a soft-rock singer while recovering from one of her many instances of plastic surgery.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

fart vb.: the act of breaking wind. 16th C, abbrev. of Fine Art, a euphemism for the act. Why Sir, 'tis a fine art that he practices in his closet, as can be sensed far and wide!

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

anorak noun: A waterproof coat, usually worn during the autumn to protect the wearer from wind, rain and cold. From: Ano: yearly and Rakkus: Norse god who, according to legend, prevented a great flood which would wipe out his people.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm wondering how long it's going to be before someone posts a *real* etymology by mistake.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

Haha, I was going to relate "shyster" to "scheisse", but luckily looked it up first!

― OleM (OleM), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

internet noun: a communications network used for viewing pornography. From ternet, a young tern used to carry messages like a pigeon.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 29 April 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

lizard ['li-z&rd] noun: any of a certain suborder of reptiles. Has its origin in street slang for lard (cf. shizzle, gizzurl), for the manufacture of which lizards were used in wartime, when hogs were scarce.

― OleM (OleM), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

pwn vb: to score a point against in debate. Often thought derived from "pawn": this is erroneous. It appears in the Mabinogion and means "one" in old Welsh.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

officer noun: policeman. From overseer. Overseer. Overseer. Overcer ofercer offercer OFFICER. Yeah, officer from overseer. You need a little clarity? Check the similarity.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

Condom noun: a contraceptive device. Erroneously thought to be derived from the name of Count Condom, the alleged inventor of the said device. In reality comes from the verb condone: to regard something that is considered immoral or wrong in a tolerant way, without criticizing it or feeling strongly about it. The use of condom, which turns an unprotected intercourse into a protected one, is often thought to make an immoral act into a more acceptable one.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

punk ['p&[ng]k] noun: A fast and irreverent genre of rock music. When the first bands started playing this music, in the mid-60s in Helsinki, they coined the term kaupunki-musiikki, ie "city (or urban) music", to distinguish it from the more traditional rock music popular in Finland's rural areas. When, during the following decade, the genre's popularity spread to Anglophone countries, the name was transliterated to cowpunk. Ironically, this term was felt to be too "rustic", and the first syllable dropped.

― OleM (OleM), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, that's perfect, except that "kaupunkimusiikki" should be written without the hyphen.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

By the way, "punkki", the Finnish word for punk music, means also "a tick" (the insect).

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Bukkake [book-kä'ke] Verb: - repeated ejaculation on a female by many men. Origin Japanese, phoentic adpation of burke, to hold back/supress; and -kake, a suffix denoting an antonym.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

pwn vb: to score a point against in debate. Often thought derived from "pawn": this is erroneous. It appears in the Mabinogion and means "one" in old Welsh. -- Tom

"pwnio" is the Welsh for thump, beat, thrash. I like to think this is not a coincidence. (I like to think lots of other things that are not even slightly true, too, but this isn't the thread for admitting that.)

― Rebecca (reb), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

i thought you used to be my pwnio

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

thirteen years pass...

Uncle Ben's proper noun: Brand of parboiled rice. The brand name derives from the German neologism unkleben, i.e. "unstick", referring to the less sticky rice resulting from the parboiling process.

― anatol_merklich, Thursday, 30 August 2018 09:26 (seven years ago)

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