School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon

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http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2005/04/29/national/a130837D16.DTL

(04-29) 13:08 PDT Clovis, N.M. (AP) --

A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

"There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

"The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'"

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

"The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief," Morrissey said.

"Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy."

wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course, if anyone ate the whole thing, it most definitely would become a weapon.

wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

SHENANIGANS.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.billyfury.com/tributes/pics/oye.jpeg

"Por favor, un burrito mas grande."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I've had this happen to me before, only it wasn't a huge burrito.

The Ghost of PHWOAR (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The real mystery is how he made such a large burrito.

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes--did he make the tortilla himself? Is there a company out there that sells gigantic tortillas? Did he have to use multiple tortillas, stuck together? I need to know all of this.

Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

If I had a huge burrito like that, I'd start by eating a normal-sized burrito in class, and then when the teacher would say "Do you have enough to share with the whole class," I'd say, "Yes. Yes, I do," and pull out my COMICALLY HUGE BURRITO. Then we'd have a fiesta, followed by a siesta.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Nigel Tufnel to thread!

Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

And a ROFFLE for nick

Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is the rofflest of the day!

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

He needed a giant sign that said "WARNING: Burrito".

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I like that it was packaged in a white t-shirt.

Brian Miller (Brian Miller), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I somehow missed that! That adds a tinge of poignance to the whole situation.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to use to the word "schadenfreude" but I'm not sure if it's entirely appropriate.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Or even spelled correctly.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.labambaburritos.com/images/aboutUs.jpg

miccio (miccio), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait a second - a 30-inch burrito filled with STEAK? This must be a private school.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.dosamigoscafe.com/
2-3 foot specialty burrito?

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

World's largest burrito: http://www.costena.com/famous.html

wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ii.uj.edu.pl/~pilarczk/burrito.jpg

miccio (miccio), Friday, 29 April 2005 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Does Al Pacino own that burrito joint?

Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

HOO-HAH!

Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

THAT BURRITO WILL GIVE YOU A GREAT ASS

Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The only way the story could be improved upon is if it had been a giant burrito in the shape of Lionel Richie's head.

Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

this would be a lot better if Al Pacino did the voice over

miccio (miccio), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

OTMx1000000000

Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Friday, 29 April 2005 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

This beautiful thread is sinking like a stone, presumably only because it was started on a Friday night.

Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

revive it in 60 hours then, so that the fun can continue

kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

"something long and wrapped"

Anyway, if you see someone carrying something 30 inches long and cylindrical, wrapped in a white t-shirt, and a giant burrito doesn't spring to mind, do you just assume it's a bomb? Surely there must be other possibilities?

1. bomb
2. giant burrito
3. ?

wetmink (wetmink), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

bazooka

happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

You never really know. His shell-shocked grandfather could collect bazookas.

happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

This beautiful thread is sinking like a stone, presumably only because it was started on a Friday night.

Just wait until everyone comes back drunk, then they'll be all about the giant burrito.

wetmink (wetmink), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw, poor Burrito Boy. Lo siento.

Je4nne Ć’ury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, wetmink.

I've been waiting for Morrissey to pop up again so I can post
"I thought if you had a huge burrito
it meant that you were
a mariachi singer"

Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I once made a seven foot long taco out of an old canoe. No police were called thank god.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Saturday, 30 April 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

IT IS WRAPPED IN A WHITE T-SHIRT = IT IS CLEARLY A GANG-RELATED BOMB

Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

If I had an enormous burrito I'd put a little bonnet on it and wheel it around in baby carriage.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Saturday, 30 April 2005 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)


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