I know this is wrong. And I have never stolen anything in my life. But this neighbor pretty much NEVER picks up his paper from the porch, and also, I am really bored. Due to the unbelievable ass-sucking abilities of the local daily, I have no reason to take the paper except for the Saturday crossword, which could kill a good half hour - forty five minutes before I have to get ready for dinner. Also, the neighbor to whom the paper belongs put an inflatable swimming pool in the backyard, runs his air conditioner from May to October even when it's only sixty degrees, shouts while he plays video games, sits on the porch steps and talks loudly on his cell phone at all hours, and has been known to wear sandals with tube socks.
I don't think I'm going to take the paper, because I'd just feel guilty about it. But...damn. I do enjoy a good crossword. And I bet my neighbor never, EVER does the crossword. If he does anything to the crossword, he probably tries to fit euphemisms for the female anatomy into the boxes while he listens to Crosby, Stills and Nash. But...who the hell am I to judge what a dude does with his Saturday paper?
I am not necessarily asking for "take the paper"/"don't take the paper" advice. I realize that during the time I've spent writing this question, I could have gone out for my own newspaper. And I'm certainly not asking to be ridiculed for my insane crossword puzzle addiction. What I'm asking is: Would YOU take the paper? Would you even THINK of taking the paper? Am I a horrible person for even thinking of it, even though I won't do it? Or does the fact that I won't take the paper despite my fantasizing about taking the paper make the whole situation worse, since I am, in essence, being a phony? Well. What would YOU do? I guess I'm looking for a gauge here.
I don't know if I've been this bored before.
― kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)
But this neighbor pretty much NEVER picks up his paper from the porch,If this were true, he'd have hundreds of newspapers piled on his porch in bags.
― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)
I just figured someone was throwing them out when they started piling up. They're on my porch, by the way.
― kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)
No, I wouldn't take the paper. Someone else used to take my paper, and it sucked, even though I sometimes didn't pick it up. When I wanted it, and it wasn't there, I was upset about it, and I was the one paying for the damn paper.
― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)
Yes, I thought about that! But I kind of feel like despite my neighbor's boorish behavior, I can't automatically rule out the idea that he might enjoy a quiet Saturday afternoon crossword puzzle now and then. I would be pissed if someone clipped the crossword from my paper, even though I currently look like I slept in a grease trap. And one of the things I like most about doing crossword puzzles is neatly inking in the letters in the little squares, but these online ones Kim suggested will have to do for now.
― kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)
"I would be pissed if someone clipped the crossword from my paper, even though I currently look like I slept in a grease trap."
?
― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Saturday, 30 April 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)
Oh, I guess I was just thinking about how my neighbor doesn't appear to be someone who looks like he would enjoy doing a crossword puzzle, but maybe he is! I certainly don't look like the quiet granny type. Sorry, sometimes I'm not good at making my mental connections clear.
― kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 30 April 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)