It's Just Lunch!

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god help us all

http://www.itsjustlunch.com/

i like how the name of this dating service can be taken so many ways. "Don't worry, it's just lunch! heheheeheeee!!!" or "Put those condoms away! It's just lunch!"

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's just lunch! There's no alcohol in the puke at all!"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Real Busy Professionals don't have time for lunch.

Also, they give up and bang the secretary.

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"What's that stain on your pants?"
"It's just lunch!"

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I could go to a store and look through racks and racks of clothing on my own and spend a lot of time finding what I like. This is like somebody goes through the racks of clothing for you and pre-selects what they think you might like.
--Melissa

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

How is banging the secretary "giving up?" Sounds like staying in the Game to me!

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

have you seen the secretary?

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, seriously. These are REAL secretaries, not TV secretaries.

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost - It's Just Sex jody!

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Have I seen the secretary....please. I've DONE her. In THAT WAY.

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.itsjustlunch.com/images/MELISSA.jpg

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This is like somebody goes through the racks of clothing for you and pre-selects what they think you might like.

that sounds like a recipe for disaster. my grandma buys clothes for me that she thinks i might like and it's not usually a very successful or happy process for any parties involved.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell your Grandma it's just lunch.

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Delicious!
ihttp://www.1001monkeys.com/cs/img/Foodsex.jpg

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

CHILL OUT PLZ ITS JUST LUNCH FFS!!!!!!!!!!

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

my grandma tried to set me up with her podiatrist. that wasn't happy or successful either. it wasn't for lunch, maybe that was the problem.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm so glad I don't have to go through life making my own decisions when I can pay services like this to tell me my opinions on things!"

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

That broccoli gave me a rod.

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Of course I'm not going to bang her, sweetie, it's just lunch! Look at the website!"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tiggysribticklers.com/images/lunch.jpg

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

From the "Dating Quiz"

5. What's more important?

The car your date drives
The zip code your date lives
How much money your date makes
Where your date went to college
Who your date knows

There's no question about lunch though

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The fact that you have to choose one of those five says a lot.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.itsjustlunch.com/images/MELISSA.jpg

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The fact that you have to choose one of those five says a lot.

yeah it sounds like the people in the database would be a barrel of laughs hey

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.martinbisi.com/jpg/stink.jpg

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm picturing a very stern woman in a power suit starting the date with a firm handshake and saying "I want to make one thing clear ..."

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHA -- if only Lydia Lunch had an album called "It's Just Lunch."

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

But maybe they are to each other? Dating sites: the only place where targeted marketing campaigns work for the consumer.

xpost

― mouse (mouse), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

6. What's for lunch?

Your date
Your date's roommate
The money your date makes
The girl your date went to college with
Whoever else your date knows

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

one of their "restaurant partners":

http://www.itsjustlunch.com/images/restaurants/15381_1111442320.jpg

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

is that an 'n' or an 'r' in there?

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Comedy, either way.

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/just_lunch.html

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

LMAO

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

5. Gender balance We are instructed to say the balance between men and women is 50/50. This is a FAR cry from the truth. There are far more women than men, and I would say the men have the good end of the deal with It's Just Lunch.

Oh, I wonder why.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yikes!

Bob of Raleigh NC (11/18/04):
When I signed up, at the cost of $1395.00, I was told that the Raleigh office had tons of ladies for me to date. Well, my first date looked and acted like a MAN! This "shemale" had hair on her chin, not to mention very overweight and bright yellow teeth. I was told that the checks are split -- not true. I had to buy "shemale" dinner, because she did not bring her purse. I was kind. Afterall, I felt that it was not her fault. We proceeded to have dinner, this person smoked, and I am allergic to smoke, and in the interview, I had requested non-smokers. This is very important to me.

I love that he still brings up the smoking issue.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://film.punt.nl/upload/B/borat.gif

Do you like-a porno?

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

SHEMALES BE SMOKIN

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Pocket rockets in flight

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

WHY ARE PEOPLE PAYING 1500$ FOR A DATING SERVICE. SPEND 1500$ ON BEERS AT THE BAR, GET BLITZED AND GET LAID

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:49 (twenty-one years ago)

One office, under the same franchisee, was informed by the corporrate offices to "not disclose" the following: one gentleman with no arms was taken as a client and then set up with other clients ... this information was not disclosed. Believe me, I am in no way prejudiced (my father has lost a limb), but the man's prospective dates were not informed.
HENCE, the man was very embarrased and his date felt AWFUL for having been placed in such an uncomfortable circumstance. When the director of the office was asked how/if she should disclose this information, she was informed by the corporate office that the situation should be handled as if someone had undergone a mastectomy -- you wouldn't disclose that would you?

A similar situation was "handled" in the Fort Meyers office when a mentally disabled client signed up. DO NOT GET ME WRONG ... everyone deserves love/dating but how would you, in either position, feel if these details were not disclosed?

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

...or hire an expensive hooker.

― mouse (mouse), Thursday, 5 May 2005 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Companies/CompanyJobResults.aspx?Comp_DID=C8D5PP692VGNM428TFS%20%20&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=1a326d99ff8e4985a188225e44dd6dd2-168570730-w1-2

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

here's another scam service (these guys bought out "together," which went bankrupt):
http://www.therightone.com/

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Base Pay: $60,000.00 - $80,000.00/Year
Other Pay: base plus commission

say, do you think the staffers at the It's Just Lunch fuck each other during dinner break?

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"commission" = "sloppy handjobs"

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's Just Sloppy Handjobs!"

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

you only get the 60k if you fulfill your sales quotas. if not, you probably don't get paid at all!

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

sounds like they are too busy fucking over their patrons to be fucking each other

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's Just AIDS!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not falling for that again, Ned.

― Andre Dawson (deangulberry), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's Just a Phase... You'll Grow Out of It!"

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

IT'S JUST HERPES

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/katie-holmes-lips.jpg

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not falling for that again, Ned.

"It's Just a Carrot!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's Just a Botched Collagen Injection!"

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's Just A Fetish!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:50 (twenty-one years ago)

the ads for these "executive dating services" that i see on the trains make me want to... well, commit suicide, basically. or cry. or cry and then commit suicide.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 May 2005 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Just Suicide

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 5 May 2005 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Pasta Anytime!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Just Creamy!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

the late HASIL ADKINS sez:

http://www.mohairsweets.mb.ca/mohair_2_rvws_imgs/july_04/hasil_wild.jpg

"IT'S JUST HUNCH!"

(yes that is his finger in her ass)

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 5 May 2005 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I had asked repeatedly for handsome (this is objective and there are studies to prove it) professional (as in lawyer and doctor) and successful. I also stressed good manners and courtesy. I have repeated these requirements again and again including several times before I had paid a penny. I was told, "yes, absolutely."

― g e o f f (gcannon), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

haha i wonder if that person got their money back. not asking for much. that's like the skit on little britain in the little corner shop where the customer always asks for something hopelessly specific like a mother's day card. that's green. and doesn't have the word special inside. and is written in estonian.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously. Most of the complaints sound legit, but expecting that for $1500 (or ANY amount of money) you can be set up with a handsome lawyer or doctor with good manners and courtesy is a bit of a reach -- unless you're quite a catch yourself. If you can't meet one in your day-to-day life, what makes you think this will be any better?

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i love it when someone attempts to legitimise their argument with 'this is objective and there are studies to prove it'. sort of like prefixing something terminally insulting with 'no offence but...'

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Why doesn't this place just cut out all the bullshit and rename themselves the Nooner Wagon?

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf is a nooner wagon? is that a euphemism for afternoon delight?

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

it's Afternoon Delight meets B@ngbus

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Why can't these people cruise friendster/myspace from the office like normal people? I mean really!!!

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew someone who used to be one of the "consultants" or whatever you call them at the local franchise.

She did it because her mom owned the franchise. Her impressions were that it wasn't that bad, but totally not worth the $1500.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 5 May 2005 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It's lunch, just.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 5 May 2005 10:03 (twenty-one years ago)

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/extrainfo/091704_ex_justlunch.html

The It's Just Lunch Dos and Don'ts of Dating are:

DO:
Do turn your cellular phone off; calls can be intrusive and rude during a date
Do notice something positive about your date (nice hair or outfit) and compliment them on it
Do pull a woman's chair out and open the car door; chivalry is NOT dead
Do have a couple of topics (current events; travel experiences) in mind in case the conversation falls into one of those awkward silences
Do keep up with current events so you can talk intelligently about major developments
Do wear sexy underwear (even if they don't see it, you'll know you have it on; you'd be surprised how it perks up your attitude)
Do put all your past relationships and dating disasters behind you; a first date should be about getting to know each other, not drudging up the past
Do SMILE; sounds basic, but a positive attitude goes a long way
Do know what you want, but keep it within reason: if you're Jewish and you want to marry a nice Jewish girl, great. But a nice Jewish girl with red hair from Highland Park who likes dogs and works as an interior designer might be too persnickety.
Do follow up; if you had a good time and you have a phone number, use it!

DON'T:
Don't be late; it sends the message that your date isn't important
Don't wear too much makeup, perfume or cologne; what are you hiding?
Don't ask pointedly personal questions like "How much can a partner at your law firm expect to make?" or "How many lovers have you had?"
Don't follow "The Rules" version of dating (i.e. waiting three days to return calls, refusing Saturday dates if he calls after Wednesday, or any other game strategy)
Don't ask closed-end questions that only elicit "yes" or "no" responses
Don't prejudge; we get so excited about the date that sometimes we start imagining unrealistic ideals; it takes time to get to know someone
Don't talk to much: rambling on and talking "at" someone kills the experience and alienates people; your goal is to listen, ask questions and do roughly 50 percent of the talking
Don't order "messy" entrees during a lunch date; spaghetti, for example, is a disaster waiting to happen
Don't take on a negative line of conversation: when talking about yourself, keep it positive; stick to your best attributes; and remember, anything you say negatively about anyone else reflects negatively on you
Don't just find the next compatible person and settle down; the experience of going out with different people will tell you about what's important to you and will allow you to powerfully choose the right partner

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

it's just munch!

http://us.ent4.yimg.com/tv.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/tv_pix/nbc/law_and_order__special_victims_unit_cast_photos/richard_belzer/svu.jpg

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Do pull a woman's chair out

i read this as "do pull a woman's hair out."

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Do know what you want, but keep it within reason: if you're Jewish and you want to marry a nice Jewish girl, great. But a nice Jewish girl with red hair from Highland Park who likes dogs and works as an interior designer might be too persnickety.

She sure might!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 5 May 2005 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Mightn't she also live with her gay best friend?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 5 May 2005 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

From the complaints page...

"After the first several IJL match dates, it became obvious that a lot of IJL's clientele are extremely busy professionals who put in 60-70 hours a week. I made very clear to IJL that I am not interested in dating workaholics, as they don’t appear to have much time for dating or anything else outside of work."

Not that the service's tag line is, you know, "The Dating Service For Busy Professionals"

― Brian Miller (Brian Miller), Thursday, 5 May 2005 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

why would you pay $1500 for a dating service if you were too busy to date?

hookers, man, hookers.

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), May 5th, 2005 10:27 AM.

yeah, the way that's worded is priceless.

― Amon (eman), Thursday, 5 May 2005 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

elvis telecom: yay richard belzer!
jbr: :-):-):-):-)
jbr: richard belzer IS: lou reed
et: hahaha
et: Lou Reed crossed with Harry Dean Stanton
jbr: OTM
et: *insert obligatory "I'm not gay, but that's hawt" comment here*

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I can only imagine the lunchtime subjects of conversation with Mr. Belzer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's just lunch with richard belzer! he only orders coffee anyway."

― tonight is what it means to be young (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 May 2005 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

This was just on OPRAH.

― Cool Hand Luuke (ex machina), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

It's just Oprah

― donut debonair (donut), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:26 (twenty years ago)

You watch Oprah, Jon?

― rett bratner (deangulberry), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

he has moles that report to him about daytime tv

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

Don't call his mother a mole.

― rett bratner (deangulberry), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

I've since started using this as an expression with my indecisive girlfriend:

GF: "I wish I ordered dumplings instead!"
Me: "It's Just Lunch!"

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Laurel: oh god, the four women whose photos appear as the "directors" of it's just lunch ALL LOOK ALIKE.
Laurel: gah gah
me: pink dress shirt with open collar look = AWFUL
Laurel: and LOL at guy who says "my executive assistant convinced me to join" BECAUSE YOU WERE DRIVING HER CRAZY, DUDE. IT WAS NEXT BEST THING TO SAYING "GET A BJ ALREADY"

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:27 (nineteen years ago)

chill out laurel, it's just lunch

― strongohulkington, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

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