Sneeze Etiquette

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When someone sneezes, do you say, "God bless you?" Being an atheist, I feel hypocritical doing this, so I generally don't say it. If you don't say it, though, you run the risk of being considered rude. So, if I'm in a position where I know people might think I'm rude if I don't say, "God bless you," I do. How do the rest of you deal with this?

― Prude, Monday, 10 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I generally move away from them and hope no 'particles' landed on me.

― Nancy Drew., Monday, 10 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most wise, Nancy.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 10 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i find that "blessers" works. being just a nonsense secular version of the usual, which mildly confuses people, until they realize it is both adorable, and polite.

unless they don't. and then you can 'accidentally' step on their toes as you walk by.

― nancy b., Monday, 10 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Where I come from people normally just say 'Bless you' without any mention of God. In a houseful of hayfever sufferers, saying 'bless you' every two seconds can get tedious and new responses must be thought of.

― rainy, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Rainy - you can spice up the monotony with the occasional 'Gesuntight.'

― turner, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

WRinkle your nose and say 'aw, bless', as if they've done something really sweet.

― Ellie, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Trev's sneezing etiquette guide:

Sneeze Number / Appropriate Response

1 "God bless you"

2 "Bless you"

3 "Don't milk it"

4 "You're taking the piss"

5 Punch on the nozzer

― Trevor, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is an extremely unpleasant checkout operator at the grocery store near my house (she is very passive-aggressive, becomes painfully slow when people are in a hurry, is abusive to local homeless people, etc.) who deliberately belched the other day while she was serving me, so I said 'Bless you' to her. She wasn't sure how to take it. She looked at me suspiciously and I looked blandly back at her. I felt quite pleased with myself.

― Nancy Drew, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

heh, heh - i often say bless you to people when they belch but er, i'm not sure why! if you sneeze in front of me i will probably mutter "bleshoo" but more than once or twice and i will be offering to make you hot toddies.

― katie, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Scream 'plague!' and bleed them with leeches.

― Will, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Godzundheit"

― helen fordsdale, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Etiquette wise sneezing in public is up there with sweating in public in the list of unpreventable bodily functions that you should struggle to prevent. Therefore if someone sneezes you should raise an appalled eyebrow but refrain from comment.

― Emma, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love sneezing. I make a big deal of it and often end up flying backwards on my revolving chair. Hasn't it been proven by science to stimulate the same pleasure receptors as an orgasm? Something like a sneeze = 1/4 of an orgasm and a good poo = 1/2 an orgasm.

― Nick, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Proven by science that consistent repression of sneezes makes your sinuses implode. Particularly in the case of my friend C whose sneezes can clear a desk at 10 paces.

― Ellie, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wuv sneezing also. Very satisfying, a good sneeze.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Proven by science that consistent repression of sneezes makes your sinuses implode

I've been holding by dose when I sneeze for years and nothings happenned yet. Actually, I woke up with a massive spot on it this morning. Is this a sign of worse to come, Science?

― Graham, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wuv sneezing also. Very satisfying, a good sneeze

yeah RickyT, like when you are 2 rooms away and suddnely hear this great booming "WAAAGGGHHHHH HUURRRGHHHHHH" noise and you go rushing in to find out who is in such great pain and whether you can administer first aid and it is just YOU who have been sneezing.

RickyT always has a big big go at me for holding sneezes in, but this comes from QUITE LITERALLY YEARS of commuting. letting all yr snot and phelgm spray all over a packed carriage isn't the best way to make friends, and i'm not organised enough to remember to take tissues.

― katie, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Science was economical with the truth. Science should've said that repression of sneezes is really just a bit uncomfortable (though it can cause enormous spots in rare cases).

― Ellie, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This reminds me of an old Dave Allen routine. I won't bother you with the details.

What about blowing one's nose? If I eat spicy food I generally get a runny schnoz, but is it really so bad to honk into a hankie at a restaurant table? Should I excuse myself and dash, dripping, to a bathroom?

Taking sides: hankerchief or pack of disposable tissues?

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

speak in a different langauge, one in which the traditional saying has no religious context. 'gesundheit'? russian 'bud zdorov' - be healthy.

whats the french? god i'm thickIs it one of the finest examples of civil engineering and public art

― ambrose, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have decided that for the greater good of manners, when I rule the world everyone will have their sweat glands and snot producing glands (or whatever, I'm not a doctor) removed at birth.

Why do men take such joy in deliberately sneezing a lot louder than necessary? Eh?

― Emma, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I say "salud"

― Samantha, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why do men take such joy in deliberately sneezing a lot louder than necessary? Eh?

It's another attempt at dominating women.

― N., Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I reckon it's just a way of drawing attention to how very very genuinely ill they are so they'll get more sympathy and lemsip. Or maybe a subtle hint that they would like hankies for Xmas.

― Emma, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what did larkin say about sneezing and sex?

my mum sneezes longer and louder than any man living

― mark s, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I sneeze, my cat starts crying (or at least makes crying noises). Loud enough to upset both man and beast, I guess.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who are these great dead sneezers you have in mind, duck s?

― N., Tuesday, 11 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

AACCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― SAM H, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*sob*

― Nicole's Cat, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Doesn't saying bless or bless you make you some kind of agnostic? Afterall WHO ARE YOU TO ADMINISTER BLESSINGS CHILD?

― Ronan, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

just say "Gesamtkunstwerk"

― Tracer hand, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a really stupid girly sneeze. When ever I sneeze at work there is always a huge chorus of 'Pickachu'! (sic?)

I sneeze like a pokemon - the shame

― Anna, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sarah is about to become your NEW BEST FRIEND, Anna...

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

I happen to be atheist too.
If you're outdoors, ask the person, "Do you have Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome?"
If you're indoors, go with a foreign reply, that has no religous meaning. "Bud'te Zdorov'ye*
"-Russian for "be healthy" (or "salud"-spanish for "health".

― natasha lushina, Monday, 16 February 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

for some reason, I misread this as Saint Etienne.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 February 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always been brought up never to comment on sneezes, farts, burps. Never apologise after sneezing, nor should you comment on another's sneeze, it's impolite and drawing extra attention to what has happened.
Imagine if you were dining in polite company, and you stifle a tiny belch and then shout out "Ooooooh! Pardon me everyone, I'm so awfully rude but I happen to have burped my guts up! Beg your pardon!". Just fucking ignore it rather than adding salt to the wound.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 16 February 2004 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

I need to know how loud should you say excuse me. Is it as loud as the sneeze. Someone tell me!!!!

― rhonda, Wednesday, 5 October 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

Please don't ever say it to me. Please allow my sneezes to occur with as little fanfare as possible, and let's get back to living life, dig?

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

before I post, I should read a thread. dog latin, yo.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

People who sneeze should be kicked in the shins immediately. That'll put a stop to all that disgusting droplet-spewing.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

mother of god i have been needing to sneeze for about five hours. this is some tantric shit.

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth, quite hard. It helps get rid of that annoying need-to-sneeze sensation.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

this is actually not bad! nice tip! not stemming insane flood of mucus but you can't win 'em all.

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

Press your tongue against the roof

― PappaWheelie MMCMXL (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

just say "Gesamtkunstwerk"

This is hilarious

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

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