I Love Everything Threads. Like a Simpsons episode

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Is it jst me or do other people find ILE thread sa bit like Simpsons episodes. In as much as they ostensiably start about one thing - say Russell Crowe - and soon revfeal themselves to be about something else altogether, like blokes and birds whose nicknames are the same. Or the shape of my brain.

If you disagree with this disection of this board, why not offer your own opine.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

More inportantly, have you ever had toffee?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

A Canadian colleague has just wandered over, taken a look at my 'Banoffee muffin' and declared Banofee pie to be a great thing that they don't have back home. I always assumed it was North American in origin. Weird.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Does 'banoffee' come from a place called Banoffee? Always wondered about that...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I'm canadian and I've never heard or read the word Banoffee before in my entire life.

― Patrick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Banana + toffee, perhaps?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Is toffee as good as Nestles Quick?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Don't mention Nestle on my thread. BABY KILLAZ.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

here is a recipe for banoffie pie in industrial quantities

Banoffee Pie 10 cans condensed milk 3-4 kg digestive biscuits, crushed 1.5 kg margarine 20 bananas 4 litres cream, whipped chocolate for grating on top

Immerse the cans of condensed milk in water and boil for 1 and a half hours. CARE!!! Do not allow the water to boil dry or the tins WILL EXPLODE!!! Meanwhile, melt the margarine in a 10 pint billie. Layer the crushed biscuits in a large, deep tray, and pour the melted margarine over – mix well, and spread evenly, then press down to create the biscuit base. Set to one side to cool and harden. When the tins of milk have been boiled, allow to cool slightly, and then carefully open them – holding them well away from faces – this is a Staff or Pathfinder job. As they are opened, the caramel inside needs to be quickly spooned out onto the biscuit base and spread as evenly as possible. It helps this sticky job to have a jug of boiling water nearby into which spreading knives can be dipped – a hot knife will help the spreading no end, as it has to be done quickly before the caramel hardens as it cools.

Slice the bananas all over the top of the caramel when it has cooled off, and then top with the whipped cream, and finally, grated chocolate.

Incidentally Bananas are the one food I cannot stand. Apparently my mother fed them to me for 2 years when i went onto solid foods. However made with really shape apples, stewed slightly it rocks

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

i hate bananas, but love banana flavoured things. go figure

― gareth, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

are you still at work?

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

yeh, another 15 minutes. its raining and i've got no coat

― gareth, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

This is a big problem, noone but nestle makes condensed milk. The recipe is another camp thing and the problem is reconciling the organisation's hippy leanings with the fact that the kids want, nay demand and expect banoffie pie.

If anyone knows of any non nestle consdensed milk I'd appreciate it.

Isn't thread mutation wonderful

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

This looked like an urgent and key problem. For me, a challenge is an opportunity. Eagle Brand Condensed Milk. Bear in mind that evaporated milk is just the same as condensed milk but with added sugar. Or is it the other way round?

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

The only type of condensed milk I can think of Fussell's - are they part of the great big Nestle ogre?

― Jonnie, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Also, you could try here, or, if you want to be a real hippy, here

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I love bananas (but only if they are green, green, green) but I hate banana flavoured things. Go figure.

Thread mutation is one of the joys of ILE!!! Even if it starts out about something you have no interest in whatsoever, (Russel Crowe) if you check back after about a dozen posts or so later, it will have mutated into something wonderful and weird.

Besides, we all seem to have our fixations and our passing fascinations with stuff, so all theads will eventually converge on the topic which is currently occupying ILE's collective subconscious, be that asses or eyeballs.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

God, you're right. Fussells is part of the Nestle empire. Ignore that link.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

So _The Simpsons_ DVDs, then. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I don't actually have an urge to own Simpsons episodes on DVD. I like the fact that they are just always on the telly and you can dip into them when you feel like it and squeal with delight when it's one of your favourites. Actually, owning the complete series of any comedy: DUD. And maybe any drama too. Except soaps. The secretary where I used to work taped every episode of Eastenders and kept them all in some big room. That's CLASSIC.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Nick have you seen me. The welsh creameries link will come in handy.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I'm not entirely sure why you posted that picture, but I would like to know how you know Ally C and when he grew a chin goatee.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Neither do I but I've just had two big old morettis and a load of salami and I'm in a silly mood. Wanna see some more pics.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

It would be entirely inappropriate for any post to stay on topic...though it's getting hard to keep up...there's like 15 new posts today, and I can see my stats standing falling...I'm thinking of writing a PHd on how posts on message boards go off subject and become meta narratives...anyway, has anyone made rice krispie cakes?...

― james e l, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

The only resemblence between me and that guy is the big stupid grin on his face.

― Ally C, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

That is Ambrose who quite frankly is dabomb and in Siberia

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You bastards and your blue words.

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I've got an industrial recipe for that too

Chocolate Cornflake Pudding 1.5 kg margarine 500g drinking chocolate 1 kg golden syrup 1.5 kg cornflakes

Melt the margarine with the golden syrup, and add the drinking chocolate. Spread the cornflakes out in a large, deep metal tin, and pour the syrup over all of them. Put somewhere cool to set.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

OK so its cornflakes but you can work it from there.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I hear Russell Crowe loves Bananas and condensed milk, and he once worked in a Nestle factory, cleaning floors.

"The Quick and the Dead" is the best Russell Crowe movie, ever!

― tOM p, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

No, it's _The Insider_. _The Quick & The Dead_ is the most fun Russell Crowe movie, however. Intentionally fun, that is.

― David Raposa, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I think I shall have a chocloate now. Any coffee today Kate?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I hate bananas AND banana flavoured things. Go figure.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

No coffee today. Am about to open a big bottle of wine in preparation for when The Boy comes home, tho... tee hee hee!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I'm very disappointed that this thread went ARTIFICIALLY off topic rather than mutating.

I'm also very disappointed that they are playing Bright Eyes by Art (too tall curly fuckwit) Garfunkel down my bar. I told them to take it off the juker. Grrr.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Like, what do you mean? Or should I say... what is the meaning of this? Now, if you'll excuse me, I've forgotten what I was doing here.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

If you talk about going off topic, of course it's going to artificially mutate, duh.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

So perhaps it isn't artificial at all, perhaps I have planned it to happen. Hmm - still its almost as if everyone is agreeing that the mutation is like the way Simpsons plot mutates. Maybe it mutates like (checks the Big Book Of Mutations) Fruit Fly's. Or Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine instead of Dougray Scott.

Banoffee pie mutation though. Geez.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I bet you did plan this, it's a social experiment isn't it?

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

It mutated off topic becasue people felt proud and free to make it do so, accliamed, shining in the golden sun, basking, drinking Moxie

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

ILE Threads are not like Simpson's episodes, there back on topic!

― james e l, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I worship artifical banana flavouring. ILE is like having a piss up with a variety of damaged inlectuals.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Pissing: CLassic or dud?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Wolverine. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I like being a damaged Intelectual.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

BLURILLAZ

― DG, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

better phrase: "art damaged" "acid damaged" or "intellectually damaged"?

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I laff when the Pinefox calls links "blue words". 'cause on my computer they're RED. Also, the water here goes down the toilet ANTICLOCKWISE.

― duane, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Not if you get one of those contraptions like the American Embassy supplies to southern hemisphere offices. ;)

― Josh, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

As Homer would say: "Mmmmm - Banoffee piiiiiie [droool]"

Green bananas = disgusting. Eating 'em is like eating an artificial banana!

Keeping Eastenders on vid is Tragic, not Classic.

― D*A*V*I*D*M, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

That guy in American Movie was Acid Damaged, I don't think I'd wanna be acid damaged, in fact I'm not damaged at all...

― james e l, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

ed, who is that guy with you and ambrose?

― gareth, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

My Flat mate Ivan, pronounced Iv-an with a really short a. He's catalan, from barcelona.

― Ed, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Does the world really need nutmeg?

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

How can you ask that. The world would wither and die wo nutmeg.

― anthony, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Nutmeg has been superceded by harder spices.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

The more spices we have the better the world is !

― anthony, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Is th e world spicey?

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You cannot make a custard tart or rice pudding for starters without nutmeg, or a good mole.

You swine you've got me craving for a custard tart now.

― Ed, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Do you have to skin and gut the mole first. That has to be nasty.

― anthony, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Nutmeg has been superseded by hotter spices, maybe, not harder. Nutmeg is a highly toxic hallucinogen, taken in large enuff quantities. These quantities are less than you might imagine (however the food is already wrecked, by this stage — cf the evening the cap came off the nutmeg shaker when my mom was making Boeuf Stroganoff when mark s was a tot: we tried, but it was inedible...)

― mark s, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

well there you go, cinnamon nut meg and cloves go to balance out the chilli cumin and corriander in a good mole.

― Ed, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

OK, hands up, who here has actually injested large quantities of either nutmeg or morning glory seeds because they read somewhere that they were hallucinogenic?

― masonic boom, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Me. I snorted nutmeg. The effects were difficult to gauge as I was drunk at the time, but it did make everything go a bit weird for a while.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Me too. I swallowed 8 table-spoonfuls of it, washed down with cola. I don't think I've ever been so ill in my life as I was afterwards.

― scott, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I tried to make the nutmeg palatable by mixing in into peanut butter, and also water. Bot h times it was gross. No hallucinations. ALso it made MAry Kate barf. But I also had her spin around for a minute and then put her head back

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Morning glory seeds - nuthin happened. Nutmeg - surprisingly, nuthin happened.

― duane, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I wouldn't do nutmeg, because I read about the nausea, so we made the neighbourhood kid brother (he was actually older than I was, he just behaved like everyone's annoying kid brother) try it. He promptly vomited.

Morning Glory seeds, we heard that they had to be ground up before they were effective. And you have to use a great deal. So we ground them up in a peppermill and ate them. Felt a bit funny, a bit stoned, but that was all. Very disappointing. Never told my mum why the pepper always tasted funny from them on...

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Unlike banana skins, the nutmeg and morning glory seed things are at least real, if rubbish as drugs go. I thinkyou need about half a nutmeg, and the big problem is not vomiting it all up and having to start again. Morning Glory seed packets always have a 'poisonous' warning on the back. I think this is because they are deliberately treated with some gross chemical (like meths) to stop you ingesting them, rather than it being a general 'drugs are bad kids, m'kay?' message.

― Nick, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

EAt the flowers instead becasue they are beautiful and beauty is deliscious

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

two months pass...

use the doctrine of signatures: wheat germ, peanut (or sesame or nut) butters, squashes, cayenne. molasses is a good sweetener. both halvahs and cakes. goes down easily in warm sweetened (molasses) coffee. rotatory and spiderweb hallucinations, euphoria, depersonalization. neurotoxic in prolonged use, huge number of vidual field phosphenes especially in twilight, personality changes (mean, antisocial). And that's not counting the flashbacks. Good luck charlie.

― alan moses, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

mm the morning glories in my backyard have been lovely the past couplea weeks.

getting high off them requires LOTS of seeds, soaking them in water to wash them, using "naptha" to wash them still further, and soaking in 160-proof vodka or pure grain alcohol for a day or two. then you do shots of the yellowish sickly vodka-juice that's left. urk.

nota bene: the last line of the question i orig. read as: "if you disagree w/this dissection of this board, why not offer your own spine?"

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

getting high off them requires LOTS of seeds, soaking them in water to wash them, using "naptha" to wash them still further, and soaking in 160-proof vodka or pure grain alcohol for a day or two. then you do shots of the yellowish sickly vodka-juice that's left.

Is this all done to avoid stomach problems? I've heard you can just eat them but that you have to eat a ridiculous amount of them. LSD is so much easier.

― Kris, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

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I Love Everything Threads. Like a Simpsons episode - discuss