Defend the Indefensible: "St.Elmo's Fire"

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

http://www.musicman.com/moomoo/elmos.jpg

Stumbled upon this whilst flipping through the channels last night and like a great car accident....I couldn't turn away. I think I was reasonably certain when it came out that it was crap, but I don't think I've ever fully realized HOW FUCKING CRAP it was until now.

Lots of movies made in the era in question (mid-80's) are crap, to say nothing of "coming of age" movies (this one spawned legions), but virtually everything about this film is bullshit. The acting is flimsy, the writing is JAW-SLAPPINGLY PATHETIC (cite a single character that isn't simply a one-dimensional cliche), the pace is plodding, the sub-plots are trivial and usually stupefyingly unresolved. Hell, even the music is attrocious (how is that possible? In an era of so many anthemic pop tunes, how did they manage to settle for John fucking Parr and that saccharine piano instrumental theme?)

Is this the film that launched Demi Moore's career (or was it the not-quite-as-tragic "Blame it On Rio"?) She's a headache throughout. Ally Sheedy is likewise pathetic, and it's no mystery that she and Judd Nelson were swiftly washed up after this.

The only moderatelly defensible one here, I think, is Andrew McCarthy, but even his character is hopelessly thin (jaded, chain-smoking would-be grizzled writer suffering from long unrequited love). Ugh!

Everything about it sucks. Convince me I'm wrong. Bet you can't.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

I've seen better-written episodes of "Three's Company".

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

i kinda like the theme song

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

John fucking Parr

I love how in Near Dark the barroom scene begins with a completely terrible John Parr song that's overblown if right enough for the era (it is, after all, supposed to be source music from the jukebox), but how the scene immediately gets a thousand times creepier when the Cramps's cover of "Fever" -- playing at quieter volume -- starts up.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

i like the theme song too.

i don't think you'll find this movie has many defenders alex!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

i don't think you'll find this movie has many defenders alex!

I fear you're correct, but surely there must be SOME folks out there who still cite is as a favorite (why else would it be regularly shown on the "WE" Network?)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

Even when I was a kid and saw it because I had a crush on Judd Nelson (?!) I realized this movie was utter crap.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

I prefer the Eno song, but I like the Parr song too, when drunk enough.

Oh, it was a movie, wasn't it?

*steps back* sorry, Alex.

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

The only thing this movie has going for it is Rob Lowe. He has the most fantastic gleaming mullet in this movie, it puts Swayze's to shame.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

A minor -- but sufficient -- reason for nukedom: Mitchell Laurence's character. The "gay" one.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

I love this movie. Brillant casting. They took the douchiest aspect of all of these douchebags and amplified it, making it the best movie ever.

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

A minor -- but sufficient -- reason for nukedom: Mitchell Laurence's character. The "gay" one.

Arrrghh! Forgot to mention that. The thinly-veiled homophobia and flagrant stereotyping (in his first scene, he's wearing a pastell sweater and holding a frilly fruit drink with an umbrella in it). Fuck this movie and all who sail on her.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

They took the douchiest aspect of all of these douchebags and amplified it

This is true.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

it's joel schumacher doing john hughes! =, as dean observed, total douchiedom.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

It is a glorious exercise in how to make the douchiest movie ever.

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

"the passion burns deep"!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

I didn't realize Schumacher directed this Dirty Sanchez of a film. He should be executed gangland style. The man is a cinematic menace.

I think what bugs me the most is the implied depth. Hell, look at the tag-line "the Passion Burns Deep". The hell it does.

Haha...x-post

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

I watched this two weeks ago for free on OnDemand!

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

pass this douchie on the left-hand side, because it is the only movie in the history of andie macdowell movies where she is far and away the BEST ACTOR in it

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

only movie in the history of andie macdowell movies where she is far and away the BEST ACTOR in it

Bahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaa.....so true.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

It is nostalgic for me, though when I tried to watch it recently I could only shake my head at the woefulness of it. I think there's one or two lines that I will take with me to my grave (though "It's not a party till something gets broken" is the only one I can summon to mind just now.)

Factoid: the part of Georgetown University was actually played by the University of Maryland.

― The Mad Puffin, Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

In “Details” magazine Rob said, “I’ll tell you how I know I’ve been around a long time. Gwyneth Paltrow can recite every line of “St. Elmo’s Fire”. I’m not kidding. She’s seen it like 100 times. She likes to mortify me with obscure “St. Elmo’s Fire” dialogue.”

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

http://www.fast-rewind.com/elmos2.jpg http://www.fast-rewind.com/elmos2.jpg http://www.fast-rewind.com/elmos2.jpg

― Community Cornerstone (deangulberry), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Ugh, the sax solo scene alone......sweet jesus....it's excrutiating.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

I'm not certain about the details (it's been ages since I've seen it), but looking over some imdb.com-linked reviews, it seems Andrew McCarthy's character spends the first half of the movie trying to convince his friends and a prostitute he's not gay, then later falls hard for his best friend's girlfriend. I guess the audience needed to be re-assured that even if he's a thief of hearts, he wasn't going to start wearing pastels and leg warmers, phew.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Least "rock" moment, purporting to be a "rock" moment, in any movie ever: the scene where Lowe's character is on stage and says, "let's rock," and begins leading the audience in clapping their hands rhythmically.

No. Whatever the fuck that is, it is the opposite of rocking.

But I have a weakness for the "Respect" scene.

― The Mad Puffin, Thursday, 26 May 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

No. Whatever the fuck that is, it is the opposite of rocking.

This is so OTM it kills me.

it seems Andrew McCarthy's character spends the first half of the movie trying to convince his friends and a prostitute he's not gay, then later falls hard for his best friend's girlfriend.

Well, they all think he's gay because they never see him with women....only he's never seen with other women because he only has eyes for Ally Sheedy, who is married to Judd Nelson.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

I like the suicide-by-leaving-the-windows-open cocaine blowout at the end

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

No one ever explains why Demi's character has a huge portrait of Billy Idol painted on her wall. I suppose no explanation would really suffice, but still.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

http://theoscarsite.com/chronicle/1985img/st_elmo.jpg

Judd Nelson committs nuermous collar-related fashion crimes throughout the film.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't part of it neon, too?

Let's not forget such line classics as 'you break my heart. then again, you break everyone's heart.'

OH DEMI, THE DRAMA.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

I remember having a big, inexplicably heated debate with my sophomore roommate Dave about the scene wherein Judd throws a football against a wall after an argument with Ally Sheedy, wherein he's told her to get out. Judd exlaims "I just wish I could get it back!" I took this to mean the football that he just threw, suggesting that it would be oh so cathartic to receive the football in the same aggressive manner in which he through it. Dave thought he was talking about Ally Sheedy (though if so, why would he say "it"?)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

which he through it

ugh. THREW.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

I had some sort of hideous crush on Emilio Estevez' character.

There was a kind of fore-runner to Bridget Jones' big pants in this, wasn't there? I haven't seen it for like a zillion years, but the madness of "oh, Demi Moore's got the windows open and is rocking backwards and forwards" = "she is menko and will DIE" stays with me forever. As will her general pink-frosted-eightiesness. And the mullets.

Since when were saxophonists sexy, ever?

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Not so much a defense, but maybe this movie provided Ally Sheedy with enough box office oomph (or enough what-ever-happened-to curiousity) to have her being cast in the movie High Art, which maybe wouldn't have been made otherwise.

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

I think the eighties were all about crap sax solos.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

My eighties were all about Emilio Estevez having big woolly jumpers and an unrequited passion for a girl with unruly black curly hair JUST LIKE ME. Also he looked a bit like a grown-up version of my unrequited schoolgirl crush. Therefore we were MEANT TO BE!!!

(I grew out of this quite quickly, you'll be glad to hear)

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

http://thighswideshut.org/videos/sax.gif

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Things I like about this movie:

• The Judd Nelson/Ally Sheedy moving out scene is great for Judd Nelson telling her which records she can't have (except that they're, what, Billy Joel albums?)

• Kirby Keger, as played by Emilio Estevez, is a MUCH better picture of obsession than Andrew McCarthy's more central character. He's maybe my favorite obsessed character in a movie ever.

• Also, Mare Winningham is a much better trapped female character than Ally Sheedy. Almost nuanced, even.

• The characters overall are a little less one dimensional than The Breakfast Club, and at least, unlike most brat pack movies, they don't attempt to have the characters 'grow' simply by acting the opposite of they way they've been set up.

Okay, so I can't come up with many reasons. But I do have a fondness for this movie, I think mostly due to Emilio Estevez. Which is the only time I'll ever say that about anything.

― Brian Miller (Brian Miller), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

some idiot in my high school tried to do the "make a flame from aerosol can fumes" trick from this movie. burned the living fuck outta his right arm!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

yeah the theme song is great!

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

oh great this thread is making me want to see this movie again. thanks a lot, guys.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

whatever happened to john parr, anyway?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

i haven't seen this thing in 20 years ... is the sax solo dude the same oily sax dude in like a zillion 80s videos (like tina turner's "we don't need another hero"?)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

The fact that one kiss from the object of his affection made Estevez' character so happy as opposed to shagging the object of his not making McCarthy's character happy seemed so *right* to teenage romantic me.

The fact that I thought Estevez and McDowall looked like grown-up versions of me and teenage crush obsession (and no, I don't look anything like Andie McDowall now) had nothing at all to do with this, no way.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

blazin sax

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

re: the sax gif.

ew.

― L'Histoire d'Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 26 May 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

this v. the big chill

Rob Lowe's hair v Kevin Kline's jogging shorts

I saw what I thought was a really ancient prostitute yesterday until I realised it was just an old man in jogging shorts.

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 28 May 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

i haven't seen this thing in 20 years ... is the sax solo dude the same oily sax dude in like a zillion 80s videos (like tina turner's "we don't need another hero"?)

the lost boys, too?

― sunny successor (katharine), Saturday, 28 May 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

ok I need to see this movie

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

and one of many reasons I love Electric Six is that they've brought back the crap sax solo. The one on "The Future Is In The Future" is breathtaking.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

ly crap

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

ola

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

TRIPLE WORD SCORE!

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

what was their chant? 'Woooo! Oooop!' or something really annoying like that.

― Michael B, Saturday, 28 May 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

it was the kind of thing that you get when the director's like "okay, so i've had this great idea! you're all real tight friends right, so you've got inside jokes with each other, you know, little things you do that only you understand, things that have just evolved over the years! so let's come up with, like a chant you all do! and hurry, because we start shooting in... 8 minutes"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 28 May 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

xxxpost

"Naughty Naughty" >>>>> "Man In Motion (St. Elmo's Fire)"

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 28 May 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

If there is a worse movie on earth I want to see it.

― peronista (peronista), Sunday, 29 May 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

Factoid: the part of Georgetown University was actually played by the University of Maryland.
Georgetown has banned fraternities for ages. There are several non-school sanctioned fraternities and one semi-sanctioned one... the one related to the school of foreign service... the whole movies is a big bucket of shit.

― peronista (peronista), Sunday, 29 May 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

a young and hot demi moore as a coke whore was enough to make this movie worthwile.

― Lovelace (Lovelace), Sunday, 29 May 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

they were Burce Springsteen records!

― h0t h0t h0rsey (Carey), Sunday, 29 May 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

"We're all going through this, man!"

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

TS: St. Elmo's Fire vs Aurora Borealis

― latebloomer: B Minus Time Traveler (latebloomer), Sunday, 29 May 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

This thread is going to hell for putting the godawful theme song in my head! How can any of you LIKE IT??? Ack, it is the worst of 80s hollering blustering MOR dreck.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 May 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

This thread is going to hell for putting the godawful theme song in my head! How can any of you LIKE IT??? Ack, it is the worst of 80s hollering blustering MOR dreck.

hahaha, you never heard mr. parr's other "hit" -- "naughty, naughty."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

I now nothing about this film, being a young-un, but the theme tune is great. It's MOR dreck done REALLY well.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

The only moderatelly defensible one here, I think, is Andrew McCarthy

I had a major crush on the guy at the time. Major crush.

I'm off to imdb.com to check what he's been doing lately.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

Saw it again about 6 months ago - I actually quite liked the first half hour or so I think, that vaguely lost just-out-of-university feeling where you know things are about to change but you're not sure exactly how. I'm always a sucker for that, I'm afraid, I love The Graduate too.

Of course after this it becomes pretty ridiculous. But at least there was SOME promise there.

― Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

I think "Rent" was actually based off of this and not "La Boheme".

― Dan (And So On) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Andrew McCarthy never more fuckable.

I bet it's fairly tolerable with the sound off.

young and hot demi moore as a coke whore

What's the opposite of "a stretch"?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

I'm always a sucker for that, I'm afraid, I love The Graduate too.

The Graduate is so many miles above this piece of dreck that its ears must be popping from the altitude.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

I think the resume of Joel S's co-writer on this is instructive:

http://imdb.com/name/nm0475802/

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

Why would Oprah Winfrey even talk to that person?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

He's a drug dealer?

― Dan (Where By "Drug" I Mean "Pie") Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

Wan't it really just Saved by the Bell: The Post-Georgetown Years?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I'll ever be able to watch it all the way through again, but Rob Lowe and Demi Moore are -- in their sheer ridiculousness -- the only great things about this movie.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't the thing with Demi Moore that she was pretending to have a job? Or something like that? I couldn't figure out what her deal was besides wasting a lot of money on a neon pink apartment and then wanting death-by-wind-machine.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 28 November 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

She was having an affair with her boss and taking pay advances to pay for her coke habit.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

Somehow this movie and Bright Lights, Big City are turning into a massive film mulch in my head.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

But didn't she lose her job and that's why she was trying to wind-machine herself to death??? Why am I clearly remembering her losing her job? Maybe I, too, am confusing it with Bright Lights Big City. Or Light of Day. Or any of those movies really.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

Somehow this movie and Bright Lights, Big City are turning into a massive film mulch in my head

Wasn't John Houseman Judd Nelson's best friend in St Elmo's Fire?

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

which is more dead: john houseman or judd nelson's career?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

Well, there was definitely strife on the job front, being that she was borrowing against the company and shtupping the boss. It seems losing one's job (and all her furniture was reposseed or something) is an inevitable.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

repossessed

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/1/906359_a059c203f6_m.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 28 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.