A Gamer's Manifesto

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/manifesto.html

14. Seriously, get rid of the crates

The crate has long been held up as a symbol of lazy game art design, a crutch that game level decorators have been falling back on for fifteen damned years. Come to think of it, have you ever actually seen one of those wooden crates in real life? And did you smash it to see if there were bullets and medicine inside?

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 30 May 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

tombot linked to this on one of the video games thread, it's great.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 30 May 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

i though this was going to be stuff like "1. we shall never fail to locate the bosses' vulnerable points and attack them with great fervour!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 30 May 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Come to think of it, have you ever actually seen one of those wooden crates in real life? And did you smash it to see if there were bullets and medicine inside?

No, but I shoot up to 15 punks a day for no better reason.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 30 May 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

2. We shall collect as many start/coins/peanuts as possible and with them we will extend our lives!

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 30 May 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

-THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. EVER. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS? I DEMAND TO KNOW. WAS IT TUROK? WAS TUROK THE FIRST? THE VERY FIRST FUCKING PERSON TO EVER PUT A JUMPING PUZZLE IN A FIRST-FUCKING PERSON GAME SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED, TIED DOWN AND HAD HIS EARS FILLED WITH PISS.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 30 May 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Islamic Fonzie!!!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 30 May 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

This is dead funny, actually.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Monday, 30 May 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

Hahah my b/f wrote a long rant somewhat like this on 3drealms forums some time back. Its all so damn true. I especially like the bit about women in games and women gamers. I wish they'd wake the fuck up, look at the sales of the Sims and GET ONE TOTALLY DIFFERENT GAMEPLAY.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 May 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

Trayce, check out Will Wrights newy, Spore looks like fun.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 30 May 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

I have already, yah. It looks great on the surface and is a brilliant concept! I'm curious about it in execution tho, it seems like such a large concept.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 May 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

And as my man just pointed out, the guy's rant above is a bit hopeless when - apart from the rare person like Will Wright who can do what he likes - publishers just dont wanna know about anything different. They want what sells, and FPS and bloody cars and sports sell :(

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 May 2005 23:45 (twenty years ago)

Nick (my bf) is a game designer, and he's very frustrated because he'd love to create totally wacky, interesting games - I know a lot of other people who would too - but it just doesnt wash with the big boys like EA and Activision. Its as bad as the music industry :(

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 May 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

the coming depression:

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/crash.html

that's it, im selling my x-box. im fucking sick of 13 year-old twats trash talking me while playing halo 2 on x-box live.

― latebloomer: B Minus Time Traveler (latebloomer), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

This is why I stick to PC games. The tech might constantly get upped but hell at least I can still play old games on my new PC!!!

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

I mean I still play the first Sims from time to time, and shit like Lemmings and the original Worms.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

does manic miner count as a jumping puzzle? (but yes, there's where i got stuck on the first turok, never got any further - jumping puzzles + analog sticks = bad idea)

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I still play X-Com on my PC

Useful sites for older games.

http://vogons.zetafleet.com/
http://www.the-underdogs.org/

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

Specific save game places allow for clear breaks in the action, and stop the player from accidentally saving in an untenable position. Regular saves + quicksaves (like Halflife2) are probably the way to go, though.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

Good point, my brother once saved a Tomb Raider game while Lara was burning to death.
Load, (posh) urgh, thud

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

I don't see any reason why consoles shouldn't just look to the way games are saved/suspended on portable systems as a model. I might agree that RAM state freezes akin to emulators' capabilities are overdoing it, but giving people plenty of slots to fill with saves at any given pause/stopping point during a game should be the goal. I'm not sure what the model is for portable gaming but it seems like the GBA titles I've played have made it so that you can save or stop without fear of losing progress every 20-30 seconds or so. For ideal comfort when playing any game I think I could countenance about 45-50 seconds of unsuspendable/unsaveable activity, but longer than that and I'm inclined to get a bit annoyed. Then again, consoles have PAUSE and wall plugs, where portable systems have SLEEP and batteries, which is a tiny but important difference.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 31 May 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

he's very frustrated because he'd love to create totally wacky, interesting games - I know a lot of other people who would too

trayce, you gotta play Psychonauts, for the Black Velvetopolis level alone...

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

Havent heard of it! I should check it out - like Ive been meaning to also with Black & White, and Space Colony.

And omg the new Sims2 expansion - cant wait. They finally get their own cars, should be fun.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

oh god, you gotta play the demo at least. which, of course, is the least interesting level, but you gotta start somewhere.

i finally beat it today. the climax of the game takes place in a circus of meat.

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.