Being "Too Nice" means you get no dates.

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So says well, just about everyone. There's one of those silly-arsed life advice things in today's Guardian where this comes up again.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,1498046,00.html

I think depresssingly that it's true, and this drives me up the wall. Who in their right *mind* is put off someone because they are not arrogant enough? Who isn't attracted to nice people? What's the MATTER with everyone?

Is being 'Too Nice' not getting you dates? Is being a b*stard getting you loads? Can anyone who hates Too Nice-ness explain why?

― Niceguys, Friday, 3 June 2005 08:32 (twenty years ago)

OH GOD DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS WE HAVE ONE OF THESE EVERY TWO DAYS OH COME ON YOU KNOW HOW THIS WILL END: IN TEARS

― N_RQ, Friday, 3 June 2005 08:35 (twenty years ago)

How does one become a bastard?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

"being nice" vs being nice.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:39 (twenty years ago)

i don't care about the main problem but the one for next week at the bottom of the page makes me want to slap that woman hard.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

I've always been attracted to arrogant bastards. Which probably explains why i'm single now.

― leigh (leigh), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:44 (twenty years ago)

Mean Lex!

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:44 (twenty years ago)

i'm attracted to nice guys. unfortunately i don't know any though.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

yeah but seriously, they were only going out for THREE MONTHS before the dozy cow gets herself pregnant? no wonder he's resentful and wants nothing to do with her.

xpost

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

i never really had "dates" anyway. do english people do "dates"?

― N_RQ, Friday, 3 June 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

Nice people are attractive and wanted by loads of people it's just that often the nice person is too stupid to realise it, or doesn't want to lead someone on so tends to behave in an evasive and unattractive fashion...

(NB this is probably not generalisable)

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

before the dozy cow gets herself pregnant? no wonder he's resentful and wants nothing to do with her.

Yeah not like he had any control over the matter...!

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

no you see it clearly wasn't his sperm that she got herself impregnated with

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

"Observer Agony Aunt agrees with premise" shock horror youth cult probe

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

yeah but seriously, they were only going out for THREE MONTHS before the dozy cow gets herself pregnant?

oh come now, that's not a very nice thing to say about britney spears!

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Pretending to act like a bastard might well get you lots of dates, but they'd be dates with the kind of girls who are primarily attracted to bastards, i.e. the sort of girls who like Bad Boys because they see them as some kind of 'project' they can work on, or girls with low self-esteem who are so used to being treated like shit that they just expect it now, or high maintenance girls who get their kicks out of being bitchy to their bastard boyfriends ..... none of these things would, I think, be conducive to a happy and functioning relationship.

There are lots of guys out there who do act like bastards towards girls, and lots of girls who behave appallingly towards guys. But there are also lots of really nice people out there, so if you are one of those then I think you should just carry on being yourself because in time you'll attract someone with similar qualities, rather that trying to attract just anyone based on presenting a false image of yourself simply to get tail.

― C J (C J), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

what is a "bad boy"?

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

You have to ask?

― C J (C J), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

yeah.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

They stick together.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

i got hung up about not having a girlfriend was i was 16: looking back, no-one i knew *really* did, get me? and it would have been really bad and in some ways i'm glad i didn't. i wish i hadn't been so hung up though, because in lots of ways it was an incredibly happy time.

i'm a bad boy, with a lotta hoes
drive my own carand wear my own clothes

― N_Rq, Friday, 3 June 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

For Bad Boy, think Colin Farrell.

― C J (C J), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

eww.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

i think p diddy

― N_RQ, Friday, 3 June 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

I used to feel inadequate for not having a girlfriend when I was at school, but in reality hardly any of us did, apart from the big guys in the rugby team who had about seven girlfriends each, one for each day of the week.

As I said on another thread somewhere recently, I did have several opportunities/offers, but I usually rejected these on the grounds that, because I didn't consider myself "attractive," I invariably thought that they were simply taking the piss.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

see i'm trying to figure out if i like "bad boys" and the best i can do is that they're usually aloof and/or ornery in some way. but no, like, motorcycles or hookers.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:10 (twenty years ago)

A guy who is aloof is different from a guy who jerks you around/cheats on you all the time though, no?

― C J (C J), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

Now I've just accepted that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and I'll just have to make the best of it. Can't say I'm thrilled at the prospect, but I'll put up with it if needs be.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

i am nice. things have gone well.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

A guy who is aloof is different from a guy who jerks you around/cheats on you all the time though, no?

one would hope.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

people like confidence shocker

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

but are there really women out there that say "wow, you know, i want a guy that's gonna jerk me around! that's hawt!"?

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

Depends how confidently they jerk them around, I guess.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

i guess!

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:17 (twenty years ago)

Everyone’s nice on their 1st date, aren’t they?

I’ve been on dates where I’ve been nice & it’s never worked.

Just be yourself, if they don’t like you, so what no one dies.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:18 (twenty years ago)

Well no, you crawl back home and a little bit of you dies...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:20 (twenty years ago)

there's that "be yourself" advice again...

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

instead of being yourself, you should try and be your dad. see you have the same genes and whatever he did got him a wife.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

Yes, be myself - a widowed social cripple with Asperger's, claustrophobia and irreparable self-hatred. That's really going to attract the ladies, isn't it?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

beat yourself.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

I'm already doing that on a daily basis.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

be will self

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

i'm a bit like will self, in the flesh.

― N_RQ, Friday, 3 June 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

You don't die; you're a bit low for a few days that’s all.

I went on a date with a girl I met at a party; I thought it was going ok, but I was wrong. She didn’t want to see me again. On my ten-minute walk home, I thought so what, yeah she was nice looking and seemed like a nice girl but I (the nice nervous guy) wasn’t her type. That’s it.

Ever since I’ve been myself on dates, and I do fine.

I’m still alive to tell the tale, so hey no one dies!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

i can never tell if i'm nice or not (the whole of ilx chimes in: "you're not"). i try to be nice-but-not-too-nice (when situations call for it), but i don't think people actually take me seriously unless i'm being a hard-ass.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

My trouble is not to do with niceness, but the fact that I don't consider myself prepossessing in any way, thus usually (and as it turns out, rightly) get paranoid that the Potential Other will find me boring.

That's it, really. I'm boring. A boring bastard. Sums it up succinctly.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:35 (twenty years ago)

If you try to be anything, then you’re not you. Just act like you do on a day-to-day basis with your friends.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

But if I "act" then I'm not me, am I?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

Also I have no friends so it's all academic really.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

instead of being yourself, you should try and be your dad. see you have the same genes and whatever he did got him a wife.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 3rd, 2005.

great!

― piscesboy, Friday, 3 June 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 89 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

yeah i think that's a large part of it. there is another, less flattering part that i only recently realized was my problem too:

because i was so self-consciously trying to not be one of those guys i would somehow unconsciously think NOT hittting on someone made me seem cooler and more attractive. "hey im the guy NOT paying attention to you! you should want to go out with me!"

it's pretty fucked up really--but i'd bet a lot of money something similar goes on in the minds of lots of shy guys.

― ryan (ryan), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

The problem is, people who focus on being "nice" - what are they doing? Niceness is nothing by itself, and is best used as a prop for actual qualities like intelligence, charm, wit etc. By concentrating on being "nice", these other necessary qualities are seldom developed or (if they are there) are seldom used. Use niceness in tandem with admirable things, not instead of them.

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

that is, it's not that your too nice--and thinking your "too nice" is part of the damn problem.

x-post: exactly!

― ryan (ryan), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

re: ally's post

yeah, when i had the nice guy woes, i was B with a chance of C. but i can relate to the, "not wanting to be a creep" syndrome. also, feeling shallow for hitting on girls at bars solely based on their looks/presence. actually, i still never got past that very well. and the times i forced myself to, i was sorely disappointed anyway. attractive doesn't mean dateable.

thanks to school, clubs, orgs, church, etc etc for a connection beyond just attraction. plus, it's an easy in towards conversation. "hi, i'm blah. so, why are you interested blahblah?" i could be shallow with an excuse!
m.

― msp (mspa), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

I guess niceness just becomes a neutral trait, people won't love you for it, but they won't hate you either.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

i haven't even read most of it, but this thread is depressing me.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

On a related note, I sat through some amateur standup comedy a couple of weekends ago. The one wannabe comic who stuck in my mind was doing a "nice guys finish last" schtick, insisting that he left any dance club he went to with blue balls, and that there should be a seperate category for "blue balls" charges on his VISA statement, and that those should qualify for medical coverage, blahblahblah, all the women at these clubs are cock-blockers , blahblahblah, I can't get laid to save my life, etc.

All I could think was "If you took half the time that you wasted on this laboured and thoroughly unfunny routine & put it into being less of a badly dressed, wisecracking, whiney milquetoast, then maybe you'd get laid and the world would be spared another shitty standup, 'cause you'd be out with your girlfriend."

I really should've yelled that out at him.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

if you think this is good, go check out the latest adventures of lonely toronto comma man. devastating.

xpost to jaymc

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

http://www.larabar.com/ing/dates.jpg
YOU MUST BE HARD BARGAINER IF'N Y'UNTZ THESE

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

jaymc, don't be depressed - you're a total asshole!

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

(j/k, obv.)

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

jaymc, aren't going out on a date or soemthing soon?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

I don't see why anyone would get so het up about getting dates, I mean, dates suck ass! It's like, sure, let's spend a couple hours feeling really awkward before one of us drops the other off to a lonely sexless home! Woohoo!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

haha. jaymc, why so blue? like nick said, you're not nice at all, i'm sure you get waterfalls of poon tang.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

DON'T GO CHASING WATERFALLS

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

This thread is dumb anyways, I want to go all MARCELLO on it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

she hasn't returned my calls!!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

oh right because she is "busy." fuck that.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

From what I remember on TITTWIS, she sounds like she may be a little flakey.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

When she does call, you should say "I hope you're not busy now, because we're about to GET BUSY."

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

yeah, anyway.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

enough about me.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

Dude, I HAVE a girlfriend. So you have to take my advice, no matter how stupid or offensive it may seem.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

like that day the raccoons sang
out the tip of the cartoon's wang
buffoon's bang
on and on about the waterfalls of poontang
all of y'all get swoons, mang
don't worry 'bout no dates of doom, damn

― "waterfalls of poontang" by n. coleman & m. wright (nickalicious), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

tho' a funky beat on that and we'll be set!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 3 June 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

'why does this thread keep happening?' maybe because every time it does everyone goes on and on about how the guy is clearly a loser and pathetic and insecure and so 'haha, it's all your fault'. (witness the males of ilx using a scapegoat as a way to exorcise the parts of themselves they like least.) sometimes this is true, sure, but marcello's link adds more to the picture:

Women, to put it politely, are contrary creatures. The more you act like you want them and are prepared to devote your entire being to their welfare the less they'll like you. The worse you treat them (and total lack of interest is a good starting point here) the more they'll clamour for you.
When it comes to women, the more effort you expend the less you are likely to get back.

true for everyone? likely not. but i'll say something really controversial and awful. the betterlooking a woman is by 'normal' standards, the more likely it is to be true. the women i know who are most open to 'nice guys' are also the ones who are least likely to turn heads when they walk into a pub. doesn't mean they're not beautiful to somebody, but they're usually not the women who EVERYONE thinks are hot. and that's because the 'hot' women get 'nice guy' interest all the time, and so many of them get turned on by guys who don't seem interested. more offbeat looking girls are sometimes hungrier for attention and respond better to interest.

another point: the rules change depending on how goodlooking you are for guys too. if you're hot, you can pull off the sit in a corner and look mysterious thing, or the dangerous and almost-violent thing, and so on. but if you're not, then if you sit in a corner, no one cares, and if you act like raging bull, you just seem silly. the tactics that work for goodlooking people, male or female, don't necessarily work for the rest of us. it's like clothes and how some people can wear a silly hat or cuttingedge fashion and still look good but other people look stupid when they try it. it sucks, but the point is, advice in these situations isn't always useful if it's coming from someone whose looks win them half the battle already.

one more: women like assholes sometimes because some women like not having to make decisions, or because they like the illusion of not having a choice, or because the role of victim is one they feel comfortable in. it's a dance that is for many people a LOT easier to dance than the dance of a healthy relationship. an abusive relationship can be comforting in an odd way, you give up freedom and stability, but so many decisions are made for you, the whole world reorganises around a mean sonofabitch who will take care of everything if only you can guess what he wants. reminds me of certain strains of xtianity, actually.

― no name given, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

alot of this thread can kinda be summed up by saying, 'people want what they can't have.'

― no name given, Friday, 3 June 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

(witness the males of ilx using a scapegoat as a way to exorcise the parts of themselves they like least.)

Guilty as charged. I'll stick my neck out here and say that I've made
every mistake a guy can possibly make in a relationship. I've been "too nice", I've been the proverbial asshole, I've been distant, I've been clingy... it seems like the closest thing to a balance I've ever had is the relationship I'm in right now, and even that has seen its share of problems. I guess all that one can do is a) be realistic about desires and b) learn from past mistakes.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

people like confidence shocker

OTM

I don't know, I always found coyness more charming. But then again, most of this thread's about males not getting dates, no females.

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

not females, even.

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 3 June 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

I DONT GET ANY DATES

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 3 June 2005 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life you'd like to
Coyness is nice but coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in life you'd like to
So if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you want to try
Ask me I can't say no, how could I?

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Friday, 3 June 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

being a sullen prick doesn't get you many either.

now off to the bar!

― strng hlkngtn, Friday, 3 June 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

"Demonic Males" is an interesting book, but I'd take it with a grain of salt, as many of the apes being studied were in positions of great stress against them and their environment, and were basically being given handouts of bananas by their studiers as their principle foodsource - which can produce aberrant (and violent) behaviours in any ape, including humans.

I think Ally is OTM about the B) guys who never hit on anyone, ever scenario as well. I've had this situation a couple of times lately, with blokes who I think are great, and attracted enough to them that I probably would date and/or sleep with them. But they never make a move! Which leads me to think that they aren't actually attracted to me, and just being "nice". I think there might be some truth to the idea ... not that women like to be "told what to do" - but that many women are insecure beasts, and would just like to feel *wanted*. Quite frankly, I'm sick of always having to make the first move (and often getting rebuffed and hurt in the process) so call it laziness or call it what you like, but he who *asks* gets.

Anyway, this is just turning into a self pity party for me, so I'll take it elsewhere.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

I DONT GET ANY DATES
They grow outside my flat every summer. I'll get some soon.

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

I've always thought bananas were a Bad Thing

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

Anyone who asks, gets, Kate*? Or would the odds be improved by, say, offering a banana?

* I'm not sure if that second comma should stay.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

No, not anyone who asks gets, Martin - it's not a random thing. I guess I'm just obsessing about my particular situation. But if a person doesn't ask, they stand no chance of getting.

Never mind, I'm all torn up inside right now.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

definitely true

people spend a lot of time presuming. they wont like me, i dont have a chance, etc. 2 people do that, and you aren't going anywhere. its that simple really, get the ball into the penalty box and see what happens. no harm in a speculative lob

― charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

To continue the metaphor, the last couple of times I've tried kicking towards goal the ball has bounced back and knocked me painfully to the ground. So, now I *do* assume that nobody will like me and I don't stand a chance, just because that is what careful experiment has revealed.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

what about this 'holding back' recommendation in that guardian piece? does that mean men shd be looking mean and moody to create mystery, and not saying much, or do they just mean talk and blabber along but dont give away too much? cos i think i sometimes talk rubbish when nervous to stop there being awkward silences but i suppose if you do that, the mystery is out the window isnt it?

― ppp, Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

yes, theres no guarantee putting the ball in the box is going to get a result, and, yes, failure hurts confidence. and lack of confidence makes it harder to get a good shot in next time. its a cycle

this entire thread, i think, can be summed up with that one word, 'confidence', and peoples misunderstanding of what confidence actually is (the confusion with arrogance, which is something else entirely)

― charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

yeah, so ILXors need to get some therapy, that will help you all. it helped me!

― therapise, Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

B-but I ENJOY being perfectly abnormal!

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

Despite my comments above, I'm quite happy at the mo'. Toodle pip.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 4 June 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

Charltonlido being very wise up there.

Sometimes, I think, rejection can actually be a confidence builder. Not if you're rejected by someone you've got some long-term crazy crush on, I admit. But just asking someone out, and getting a simple "No, thanks", isn't as devastating as you might think. And, as with anything, it's easier to sleep knowing you did something than wishing you'd had the guts to. Rejection just takes a bit of practice.

Also, I wonder whether some 'nice guys' feel a kind of post-feminist shame about admitting to finding the women they meet sexually attractive that is greater even than the shame of possible refusal.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

being rejected isn't that bad, and in some cases i've remained good friends with people who rejected me (warning: you run the risk of your rejector saying to his/her buddies "haha, there was that time when _____ TOTALLY wanted me").

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

but i've had to do some rejecting too and it didn't always go over so smoothly... that's those spineless insecure males for ya!

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

Footballing metaphors mean nothing to me.

I've come to the conclusion that the solitary life is the best option for me. I don't spend weekends in London any more; instead I just travel to different places, wander about on my own, take some pictures, soak up the atmosphere of whichever town or city or village I'm in. It does make a big psychological difference from the horrible bustle of you-don't-ask-you-don't-get-show-me-job-description-and-bank-statement-before-I-allow-you-to-talk-to-me London. I don't have to worry about acting the part of someone I'm not, or watching every word I say for fear it will be misinterpreted by any Potential Other in view of totally unknown grievous past personal history like I'm a mind-reader or something.

The life of a Rechabite, a total abstainer, awaits me.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 6 June 2005 05:32 (twenty years ago)

There is no such thing as "too nice" in my book. Bring em on!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 6 June 2005 05:36 (twenty years ago)

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