Cows = Evil

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THIS is for all the people who thought I was stupid to be afriad of cows. Look what they do!!!

Though I think I should be more scared of cats right now...

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

My friends said that if we didn't eat cows they would take over the world. I'm not sure of his reasoning but I sure love doing it in practice.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

NEVER trust a cow. They're smarter than you think.

― Michael Bourke, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

That's one badass cow. Or at least one heavy-ass cow.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I think the cow and the cat should engage in some ultimate death match.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

"It is not known why Daigle was giving his parrot a shower."

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Do cows sometimes try to jump out th e window? Ally..?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

No, but sometimes they're shoved, Mike...

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Ever hear of the old roman banquet feast of cow containing a goat containing a turkey containing a chicken containing a duck containing a pheasant? Its a ridiculous and gross feast but its true, they cooked it all as one piece .

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I read it with a camel. Anyway Cows are stupid and ugly and should only be eaten.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Would you french kiss a cow for $3000? What if you also had to bite the tongue?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I eat cow tounge but i assume its different when they are alive . Make it 4500 and i would consider it.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Chickens are way scarier. Thus the Hoboken Chicken Mystery, which I swear was not making up.

I hope the people of Hoboken choke on their chicken, if not choke their chicken.

― Nicole, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

But what about the parrot, why the fuck was he giving his parrot a shower.

― Ed, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

cows suck - cow tipping is a classic .

― Geoff, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Its odd taht cow shit is a mojor source of feul for many rural cultures. Its also odd taht some one showered with a parrot, and odder still that a cat went beserk just for being sprayed with some water. Usualy they just flee

― Mike Hanley, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Cow tipping is fuckin not classic. People who think mistreating animals is funny should be fucking killed twice.

― duane, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Cows are love. God is blind. Stevie Wonder is a cow?

― Joe, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I am convinced that the news story is a live-action re-creation of a Far Side panel.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld., Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Stevie Wonder is easliy pilfrered from audio galaxy I am discovering.

― Mike Hanley, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Ally is officially scrounging for threads.

― JM, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

But it's a fun scrounge, so be nice. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Idiots, building a bar under a pasture... You'd think after the first century of cow-related deaths they'd have learned by now.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 15 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

What of the roosters, the mighty, heavenly rooosters???

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Finally someone agrees with me about roosters and chicken! They have pink wiggly things hanging off them, but unline the pink wiggly things hanging off men the chickens' have no discernable purpose. Evil, I tell you, evil!

― Nicole, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

WHat kind of men have you been with? Yuck!

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Cluck cluck! I was never a fan of Foghorn Leghorn.

― DG, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Chickens all love me, which scares me.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

recently I have been getting the last word on allot of threads. I like it

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Not this one, buddy!

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I once saw a cow somersault over a gate. It was incredible. I think he's got anger management issues tho.

― Michael Bourke, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Everyone knows I'm the boring, smug, thread-killing git, goddamnit. None of you can top me.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

It ends here, RIGHT!

― Michael Bourke, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I think y'all are starting to chafe the stats cock with this oneupsmanship stuff. Just let your love flooooow, maaaan.

There's supposedly a clip of a bull unsuccessfully mounting a cow somewhere on the Internet. Supposedly, it's really funny. Someone go find that clip, will ya? I'm busy. (Obviously.)

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Mike, you need to tell the world why I am a tart. I will not let you have the last word otherwise.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Jam tart or pop tart?

― DG, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I have no idea, he won't tell me :(

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I didn't say you were a tart.

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You most well did, you ponce.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I don't know what a ponce is. Is it like a prince?

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Mike and ally should just hget it over with and have cyber.
so i just returned to Junior High.

― anthony, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Do you always think about sex, Anthony?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

The shame! I am spoken for, both electronically AND physically! Anthony you leering perv! GO and apply more nipplestick

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I have posted about movies,art,missionaries,books,catholicism,mooks. About 1/5th of my posts are about sex. I am sorry if i offended, i was trying to be cute.

― anthony, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You didn't offend, I just find it amusing.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I am now amusing. I thought i was deep and clever.

― anthony, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

You're like a clown to me, etc.

Anyhow I'm spoken for, step down gentlemen, particularly since someone reading this could easily tell on me (and would, the spiteful bastard).

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I am more man than Ally could handle anyways. And again I get the last word

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Somehow I think even I'm more man than you, you ponce.

I love calling you a ponce.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Tart

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Y'all're making me want a Pop Tart. I am a spiteful bastard, but I do not talk about you behind your back, Ally, get over yourself.

― Otis Wheeler, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Ahem.

Care to explain a few things Ramon knows about me that I never said then? You're a bigger blabbermouth gossip than Stephanie.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

anthony, your posts *are* cute. I was thinking that yesterday. S'truth. Happy?

Pop Tarts...mmmmm

― Kim, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Pop tarts are not as good as rock tarts

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I want a Rock Tart.

I need explain nothing, Ally. For a couple weeks, you were the primary topic of conversation. But you have now been pushed aside in favor of Fassbinder and The Real World.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Then don't fucking tell me you don't talk about me behind my back when not only did you, but you said things you really SHOULDN'T have felt free to tell the entire world. That is all.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Ramon is not the entire world, he's my close personal colleague. Sorry if I said anything I shouldn't have. It shouldn't be surprising that that whole period where I didn't think I would ever hang out with you again produced a lapse in judgement or two.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I'm not saying, "Otis you are a horrible person and I shall murder you viciously for your indiscretion", I'm just saying don't blame me for thinking that you're going to talk behind my back when you DID about things you shouldn't have, that if I wanted him to know I would've told him.

Though it did provide for the absolute worst conversation I've ever had at Pomodoro's, which was amusing in a sick way. I almost spit my food back out all over the table and couldn't complete a coherent sentence while he kept saying, "I'm a really bad conversationalist, I don't know why I brought that up". It's pretty damned hilarious in retrospect.

Dude, let's go to Pomodoro's next time you're in town, the cool waiter is now the host.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I like cheese.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I just read today someone blew up a cow over a bunch of waltzers as an art show.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

three years pass...

This is a true time capsule of a thread.

Anyway, evil or just annoyed?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40705000/jpg/_40705255_cow203ap.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 January 2005 06:18 (twenty years ago) link

God, Ned, what a weird fucking thread to revive. I like how the news stories are now gone from Yahoo! into the underverse so it makes even less sense than it probably did to begin with!

― Allyzay Needs Legs More (allyzay), Monday, 10 January 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago) link

God, Ned, what a weird fucking thread to revive

There were various cow threads but this seemed the most appropriate for the photo.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 January 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago) link

Has that rampaging creature took Animal Farm to it's conclusion and destroyed the house entire? Gadzooks!

― Rumpington Lane, Monday, 10 January 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago) link

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40705000/jpg/_40705255_cow203ap.jpg

"a little help?"

― Stevem On X (blueski), Monday, 10 January 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...

Cows, rebels against the state.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 March 2005 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

How come he's got an udder?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 March 2005 23:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Or, how come a cow is a he.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 March 2005 23:23 (nineteen years ago) link

he was a bum steer.

― jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 March 2005 23:27 (nineteen years ago) link

*Shakes fist eastward*

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 March 2005 23:30 (nineteen years ago) link

six years pass...

I notice that all the links on this thread that expose the vile misdeeds of cows are now dead links. Coincidence? That's what they want you to think. I think they were all (whispers) ...murdered.

― Aimless, Thursday, 19 January 2012 04:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Its so weird now seeing (10 years ago) in the timestamp brackets, that's just hit me!

― thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 19 January 2012 05:09 (thirteen years ago) link

nine years pass...

nearly got stampeded by a huge gang of thug cows last night. I knew it was a gamble to cut through the field but they looked so far up the hill I thought they'd never get near us before we got to the gap in the hedgerow where there is a wooden fence you can climb over, but they started running faster and faster and by the time I'd bundled Alex through the fence the vanguard of the stampede was actually seconds from getting to me. I think it was dog barking that spooked them more than me shouting at them to fuck off and they turned right.

I've seen a farmer's teenage kids herding cows from one field to another before, but when you've had no herd-control training then you don't what the fuck to do and blind panic sets in.

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 09:43 (three years ago) link

sorry for your traumootic experience

― imago, Friday, 20 August 2021 09:48 (three years ago) link

altho tbf of all the people hoove been in this situation I'd have said you'd udderstand what to do

― imago, Friday, 20 August 2021 09:51 (three years ago) link

if they had splatted me there would have been strong probable cows for an arrest warrant

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 09:57 (three years ago) link

brought beefore the dock

― imago, Friday, 20 August 2021 09:59 (three years ago) link

Herd youd had a close call calz hope that you are udderwise ok

― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, 20 August 2021 10:02 (three years ago) link

it was such cow-herdly behaviour

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:07 (three years ago) link

it was pouring with rain and my panicked dad run whilst dragging Alex by the arm would have probably looked hilarious to an onlooker. I was pissing myself laughing afterwards, thinking how ridic it would have looked. It was a good little work-out though.

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:12 (three years ago) link

cowlisthenics

― imago, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:17 (three years ago) link

imagine how foolish you feel in your last dying moments after getting crushed by such skittish and gentle creatures. Like when the farmer herds them they just put some thin orange string across any paths that they might decide to diverge into and that is enough of a barrier to stop them.

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:24 (three years ago) link

I once saw this guy with a huge wooden walking staff. And there were few of us stuck behind some cow traffic. And he said oh fuck this it's taking forever. And he just waded through them, waving his staff about going gerrout mi fuckin' way you slow fucking heffers. But I'm thinking next time I'm rich I'm going get me a walking staff for the mud season. Doubles up as a weapon as well.

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:34 (three years ago) link

careful you don't come to a sticky end

― imago, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:37 (three years ago) link

Hope you're bo'vine* (*both fine)

(don't think that works)

― jared o'mara's own double entry (Matt #2), Friday, 20 August 2021 10:44 (three years ago) link

it was hardly a cattleclismic event in the grand scheme of things, it was moo-re like a scene from an Ealing cow-medy.

― calzino, Friday, 20 August 2021 10:53 (three years ago) link

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