when YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE (like I do)

I just went tot the corner store to get more beer. I plan to take it to the limit one more time before I undergo deadly surgery. YES, DEADLY surgery. YOu may get your wish. I have a 60-70$ cahnce of success, which means a 30% chance of death.

But, since all this nonsense has come to pass like the George Harrison Album, let me tell you some weird shit that has happened to me lately:

I woke up with a translucent creature on my chest. It felt like both sexes and it seemed to be trying to kill me. No shit. I was sober. I don't expect you to believe me. I was temporarily paralyzed and when I came "alive" again, I had a strange full-body tremor that woke up my mate and I could not stop as she was asking, "What's wrong?"

ANother thing: a coworker of mine was telling me about this person who was "hitting on her" and "really bothering her" and for some reason, I could tell what she really meant was that she had cheated on her husband and before I knew it there was a pause and I asked, "Does your husband know?" and she looked at me funny and said, "No" and then the truth came out. And she was obviously freaked out by me and didn't want to be around me.

Another thing: We ordered to pizza rolls and after 10 minutes, which is not really enough time to be suspicious about your delivery, I picked up the phone really without thinking and hit "redial." When the man picked up, I said, "I just wanted to make sure there was no problem with my order. It's 3-G, as in Godzilla, remember?" and he laughed and said, "Holy shit! He's in your building right now. I forgot about that!" I said, "yes, something funny so you'd remember." He said, "Why was I thinking '3-J as in John?'" I knew, for some reason, "Because it's the opposite?" And he said, "Yeah, you're right! That's crazy! I'm so sorry!" I was a little taken aback because of the surprised emotion and said it was no problem and a moment later my buzzer rang and this guy outside started to sing -- AND I JOINED HIM MIDSONG --- "stories high: GODZILLA!" I have barely any recollection of the cartoon, but I know it's the themesong to a Godzillar cartoon.

Also, before I opened the bad, I knew they forgot the sauce, which they said over the phone when we ordered "came with it, anyway" and we said, "well, just give us extra sauce, then, because we like lots of sauce!" As I paid the delivery man his tip, I thought, "there's 2 dollars wasted: they forgot the sauce and the apartment number-- if it wasn't for me, I wouldn't get this shit at all." I opened the bag and there it was: no sauce at all. Then I realized: how did I know they forgot the sauce already?!

So, anyway, I am pretty sure I am going to die.