Why do patrons think I constantly want to be asked how I am doing when I am working the reference desk?

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I am here to deal with their questions. It's not overly impersonal to just get to the question, rather than asking, "How is your day going?" in a perfunctory way, pointlessly bringing my well-being into the foreground.

Is there some sort of televangelist telling everyone to ask people how they are doing all day long? Did T.D. Jakes decide this is what is the current form that politeness should take?

― RS (Catalino) LaRue (RSLaRue), Saturday, 4 June 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they judge whether or not your soul is worth saving by your answer.

(Happily my patrons never ask such a question. They seem too confused in many cases by the concept of a library to start with.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

Well. How are you doing anyway?

― JW, Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Me, I'm out to kill people who ask me general questions. YOU'RE NEXT.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

My inner child:

http://www.buckaroosandbones.com/dias/eltesoro_big.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 4 June 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

Say, big fella. How yuh dune?

It seems to me that some time in the mid-nineties everyone turned into New York Italian-Americans when it comes to greetings. It's a tic. Everyone asks, and no one cares to know the answer. I still prefer a cheery "howdy", as in the corruption of "how d'ye do?" It doesn't imply a question any more.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

what's even worse is when people tell you "have a GREAT day" in that chipper voice. i'll stick to having a nice day like they did in the old days.

― to let - flats (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

when i get transferred customer calls at work, i've learned NOT to ask how they're doing, because if they're getting transferred to me it means someone else couldn't fix their problem. asking how they are only invites getting yelled at.

i like to screw with people when they ask how i am. i answer honestly. "oh, i'm tired and ready to get the hell out of here," and they're like "uh.... ok...." cause all anyone really expects when they ask "how are you?" is "i'm fine, and you?"

― tehresa (tehresa), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

i ask because sometimes people seem put off when i don't.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 4 June 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

it took me years to realise this wasnt an actual question

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 4 June 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Say with a smile, "I get asked that everyday by every single person who comes up to this desk. How are YOU doing? What can I help you with?"

Said correctly, not only could it make YOU feel better, it will make him feel comfortable and perhaps you are doing your part to change this useless behavior. It could catch on and people could get the hint.

― Brother Builder (Unfortunate Prankster), Saturday, 4 June 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

But I just say, "Hey how are ya?" in response with a welcoming smile. People usually kind of stumble and go, "G-good, good, I'm fine!" They notice I haven't really answered THEIR question, but it happens too quick and their mind struggles to save face by answering YOUR question. So, it really flips the whole thing and you sort of have the "control" in a way, rather than feeling you have to fake a response.

― Brother Builder (Unfortunate Prankster), Saturday, 4 June 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

Four times this week I was told by complete strangers to "Have a blessed day." Suddenly, the have-a-nice-day era seems like arcadia.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Saturday, 4 June 2005 22:23 (twenty years ago)

Reply with something like "Cthulu smiles upon me this day!" in a booming voice. Grin maniacally. That oughta shut them up.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 5 June 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Unless they're a stinky roleplayer, in which case, you're in trouble.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 5 June 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

not only do i not ask people how they are doing, i no longer bless people when they sneeze. who am i to speak for god? it's best to just ignore a sneeze. let's just get on with things.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 5 June 2005 00:51 (twenty years ago)

i love having chats with random people when i'm on the reference desk, that's my favourite part of working in the library!

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 5 June 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they've been waiting all day for someone to give the chance to feel needed - when you say "fine thanks", their little faces fall and they shuffle on to the next person who will hopefully have something slightly more meaningful to say and when that next person says something like "you know, I've had such a shitty day" our intrepid hero brightens because here, here is a chance to empathize with someone... a shitty day! I've had those! This person and I have something in common, putting us on more equal footing and I can go on living, safe in the knowledge that I'm normal, I'm one of them, I'm part of the club, and not only will do all that and more for the low low price of $19.95, but if you call now, we'll throw in the fact that maybe this person will get the same sort of feeling from it and there's a glimmer of hope that perhaps they'll want to help me...?

― luna (luna.c), Sunday, 5 June 2005 01:40 (twenty years ago)

I should probably have prefaced that with the following disclaimer:

I am awfully high. I've eaten half a bag of cheetos, and should I not remember this tomorrow, please be kind and don't bring it up.

k thx bye.

― luna (luna.c), Sunday, 5 June 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

Just don't eat the whole bag, Luna! That's what you will regret in the morning. oh what the hell, go ahead. i should state for the record that when i was payed to be nice to the public i was a perfect gentleman and always had a smile. if you've got the money, i'll talk about the weather all day long! And I did. For years. Now I just like to sit on the front steps whittling and snarling.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 5 June 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

b4 that happens tho, is there any possibility you could mail me some? thanks.

xpost

― r tadsley, Sunday, 5 June 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

luna you are great!

sometimes i like greeting people a lot more than actually doing stuff for them. it's harder to screw up.

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 5 June 2005 04:14 (twenty years ago)

Ned Raggett's inner child is a Deadhead!

― shookout (shookout), Sunday, 5 June 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

adopt an irish vampiric accent, and talk like Cassidy for a day: "how ARE yeh?!"

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:15 (twenty years ago)

xpost me too maria! i always have to caveat everything i say with 'this could be totally wrong because i completely don't know anything at all but....'

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:16 (twenty years ago)

Unless they're a stinky roleplayer, in which case, you're in trouble.

What if they are a non-stinky roleplayer?

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:18 (twenty years ago)

Riiiiight... and what if they're a compassionate conservative?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:46 (twenty years ago)

they ask: how you doing? you tell them. they use it as a launch pad for interminable discussions about their life. i've had enough of it.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:48 (twenty years ago)

i almost started a thread about this the other day too. hi gaz how're you. i'm ok thanks. i've just had my appendix out. thats nice they say. i remember my wife had her appendix out in 1983. it was when i was employed at xxxx. i was at the time wearing a plaid shirt and i was very interested in stamp collecting etc etc etc etc etc v etc etc etc etc etc etcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetc

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:51 (twenty years ago)

that's when i make some mumbling comment about the misfeed in the photocopier on level 3 and make good my escape!

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 5 June 2005 05:55 (twenty years ago)

Simply refer them to the aisle and shelf that has the true crime murder stories. Either that or cheer the fuck up and say, "Fine, thank you. How are you? May I help you with something?" Though conventional, it's easier than harboring silly grudges and entertaining such a callow, cussed mindset all the time.

― M. White (Miguelito), Sunday, 5 June 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

M., you got no idea. I work in a special. limited user group. very specific reasons for being there. mainly, it seems, cos i am a nice guy who will listen endlessly to their shit.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Sunday, 5 June 2005 06:04 (twenty years ago)

What if they are a non-stinky roleplayer?

Well, those are orright you see. Tis just the ComicBookGuys* you need to watch out for.

*real name Jeff Albertson, fact fans

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 5 June 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

the day before I got fired from the liquor store my boss said; 'Hi Nellie, how are you?'
I said 'uh, I'm ok I have a nosebleed though so I might have to call someone up for the registers'
he looks at me and says 'you know I wasn't actually asking how you were, don't you?'
me, looks up, disturbed into those dead, dead retail eyes.

― Nellie (nellskies), Sunday, 5 June 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

My inner child

Ned, you were pregnant? You had an abortion? And the fetus still hasn't come out?

― The plastic yoghurt guns of Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Mantra), Sunday, 5 June 2005 11:27 (twenty years ago)

He ate a kid.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 5 June 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

Mmm, friccasse.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 June 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

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