“Well mate, I’m not here to fuck spiders”

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Aussie's say this. Its is classsic. discuss.

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

For example:

Aussie 1: Would you like a pint?
Aussie 2: Well mate, I’m not here to fuck spiders.

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

More examples!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

I once overheard an Australian reply to the waiter in a Lebanese restaurant in London who politely asked if he would like to eat, “Well mate, I’m not here to fuck spiders”

from a google search. I myself first heard the phrase last night from an Australian stand up comedian.

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

What else aren't Aussies here for?

― Huk-L, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

I like how it implies that on some days, in some places, they ARE there to fuck spiders.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

There was a graffiti book in the 70's, a sort of international compendium of graffiti, and the Australian contribution was one that said 'Kenny fucks spiders' - so apparently it is done.

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

when French people have other fish to fry, they say "I have other cats to whip"!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

I think Aussies top even Southerners for their off-the-wall turns of phrase. I love them.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I don't get it, sorry.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I'd hate to see the size of that spider.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

i bet that spiders are tight

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

My fave Aussie turn of phrase is the "back, crack & sack wax".

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

It's possible Kenny was boasting, trying to ruin spiders' chaste reputations. Was Kenny a football player?

― estela (estela), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

maybe it's a more vulgar version of "go pound sand" -- i.e., i didn't come here to do something that's pointless.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Luna, maybe it's not the size of the spider in the fuck, as it is the fuck in the spider.

― Huk-L, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

That's right, I think.

Another Australian expression that should be adopted internationally is 'get a dog up ya'. Sometimes lengthened to 'get a red dog up ya', or even, 'get a red dog up ya, ya c*nt'.

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Alex, its kind means: "Obviously I want a pint/am here to eat/etc. Why else am I here".

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

ohm yeah like Eisbär said

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Alex, its kind means: "Obviously I want a pint/am here to eat/etc. Why else am I here".

No, I mean, I get the intention of the phrase, i just don't understand why it's spiders and not, say, wombats or dingos or something more plausibly fuckable.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

"Good evening, sir. Madame. So. Are you here to... fuck spiders?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

cause most places have spiders but not wombats or dingos?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

still, nothing tops the Southern "you done stepped on your dick now, boy"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

A dingo is sort of a red dog so it's already got it's own sexy scenario (see above).

― estela (estela), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

'cos you could never fuck spiders?

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)

Aussies can do anything mate.

― estela (estela), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

"tongue the dags" was a popular expression for a while.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

Give an example of the use of this expression mully.

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

(For those who don't know a 'dag' is the same thing as a dean gulberry.)

― estela (estela), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

I thought the dags were the faecally encrusted woolly hind quarters of s sheep?

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

oh right I just found out the meaning of dean gulbery. Dingleberry. Right.

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

There was a graffiti book in the 70's, a sort of international compendium of graffiti, and the Australian contribution was one that said 'Kenny fucks spiders' - so apparently it is done.

there's a rennie ellis book of all-australian graffiti from the 70s i have somewhere. now *there's* some colourful phrases....

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

I still like my "don't carry on like a pork chop" (or "lamb chop") one.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

yes, lick the shit of a sheeps arse.

usage: moley, mate, tongue the dags.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

And is it just us that has the ubiquitous Woop Woop, that mysterious place miles from anywhere, over *that way* somewhere?

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

off some guy's scary websuite:

Favourite Aussie sayings:

Well fuck a duck, what happened to him?

Has your pussy had my whiskers today?

We are not here to fuck spiders.

I think she is the ducks nuts.

He couldn't drive a wet soapy finger up his own arse.

Couldn't organise a root in a brothel with a golden dick and a handful of hundreds.

He's a few wanks short of an orgasm.

She's had more pricks than a second hand dart board.

Head like a half sucked mangoe.

One in the pink, one in the stink.

I'm not sure if I get the one about mangoes.

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

That reminds me of my favourite of all: 'head like a dropped pie'.

I also like 'more front than a rat with a gold tooth'.

― estela (estela), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

Well if your head looked like a half sucked mango you'd probably look a right mess, hence the saying. Kind of like "ugly as a hat full of arseholes".

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

'more front than a rat with a gold tooth'

I'm using that everyday from now on.

Ta, Trayce.

― Tannenbaum Schmidt (Nik), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

what does the one about pussy/whiskers mean?

Trayce, use woop woop in a sentence, I think it might be like our BFE?
"I had to go out to Butt-Fuck Egypt to find what I needed."

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

whiskas is an australian brand of cat food

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Monday, 6 June 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

I still like my "don't carry on like a pork chop" (or "lamb chop") one.
-- Trayce

Trayce, my girlfriend and her mum say this all the time!

'Flash as a rat with a gold tooth' - describes a former label manager I knew perfectly

― moley, Monday, 6 June 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

fuck me dead and call me gunny

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

don't come the raw prawn.

(i think we've done this about 12 times now)

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Yeah whys this keep coming up? Are we that weird?

(wait dont answer that)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

Trayce, use woop woop in a sentence, I think it might be like our BFE?
"I had to go out to Butt-Fuck Egypt to find what I needed."

Yeah, woop-woop is like bumfuck or buttfuck or back of beyond.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

back of burke

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

THE GANG'S ALL HERE!!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

You just have the horn for Aussies, Tad ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hungerforce.net/images/i2/thumbs/tn_mcpp3.jpg

― nonthings (nonthings), Monday, 6 June 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

It's a pity Kingswood Country never took off overseas...

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

where tha spidaz at? awwwwww yea!

― ruff dawg, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:56 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.