T/S: "Gay" as a vague pejorative vs. Responding as if you really took it literally

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There have been other threads about this, but I just wanted to say I think both are dud.

― Richard K (Richard K), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

duly noted

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

(it's been half an hour since this thread was started. i can't believe no one's come in and said "this thread is so gay", followed by someone else saying "really? it doesn't appear to be sucking my cock".

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 03:20 (twenty years ago)

I find that when people use "gay" in that "just joking" way, they almost inevitably keep the joke going way too long or take it way too far.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 03:22 (twenty years ago)

I really do need to stop doing the first thing, not even in a "just joking" way. It's a difficult habit to stop, especially when our entire (American, at least) culture seems steeped in it. (and it's so monosyllabic!!)

― Richard K (Richard K), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

you could use "lame" as a substitute, but then you run the risk of catching a beatdown from a gang of WWI veterans.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

as someone who's lived in both places, i've honestly experienced this (and yes even took part in it) more in the midwest than on the coast... but i've also observed that it's prevalent amongst big self-identified hip-hop fans, of any race or creed or background, anywhere.

― Vichitravirya XI, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 05:03 (twenty years ago)

Yawn

― yawn, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 05:23 (twenty years ago)

I respond with a smart-arse comment, and why not? It's like someone saying "I hate that <object and/or concept>, it's so black", i.e. representative of a fucked way of thinking, and furthering marginalisation of a group that by all sound reasoning shouldn't have been marginalised in the first place.

― I HAVE NO MIND RO BOT I-HAVE-NO-MIND I HAVE NO MIND (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Who still uses gay as a non-sexual pejorative anyway? Thats soooo 2001 dudes. Get one new swear.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

I've observed that this is prevalent amongst bros.

I've observed that this is prevalent amongst thirty-something computer techs.

I've observed that this is prevalent amongst Christian Napolean Dynamite fans that are in a Christian pop-punk band.

― Lingbertt, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

I don't take 'gay' or 'gheye' as vague pejorative too seriously, I still use it a lot - perhaps it's the absurdity I find so amusing.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 08:17 (twenty years ago)

"You kissed a girl! That is SO GAY!"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

But what about when you *are* actually using the word in the literal sense?

We were talking about films last night, and I brought up "13 Going On 30" which I said was a girly film. And Barima said the only girly film he'd ever seen was ... oh god, I forget the name of the film but that one about the killer beauty contest queen. And I said that wasn't Girly, it was Gay. (Meaning Camp, Bitchy, Queeny.)

So even though it was a perjorative term, was it a perjorative use?

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

someone took me down a peg or two for saying this once. i said x or y was 'so gay' and she "called me on it," because it i So Obviously Meant It. i took it fairly well, but what can you do? i don't think she was actually offended.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

So even though it was a perjorative term, was it a perjorative use?

Hold on, since when has "gay" been a pejorative term if used properly?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

In the states this less-specific usage -- gay = weak or lame -- has filtered down to young kids who don't completely grasp the concept of homosexuality. So the word takes on an automatically pejorative cast. Gay is a general-purpose insult now, which is quite disturbing and ultimately homophobic despite the vagueness or lack of intent.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

I use it once in a while to denote something as absurd or uintentionally silly, as in "Hayden Christensen was so fuckin' GAY, man!"

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

And I said that wasn't Girly, it was Gay. (Meaning Camp, Bitchy, Queeny.)

So even though it was a perjorative term, was it a perjorative use?

Err... yes.
Speaking as a gay man who likes to think he isn't bitchy OR queeny. Although I'll admit to being a trifle camp.

Those stereotypes have negative effects too. The fact that some of the gay community appear to enjoy perpetuating them doesn't make them any less perjorative.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

completely dud, at the very least for the reason given by m coleman 3 posts up.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

So right. People seem surprised when you do remind them that using the phrase is offensive but it really shouldn't be so amazing. If the first nuances of the word "gay" of which you are aware are used to convey negative factors, then the word itself develops negative assumptions.

Or, in simpler terms, when I was six, I didn't know what being "gay" was, I just knew that everyone seemed to think it was a bad thing.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

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