feelings of culture shock (a fresh thread for 2005)

http://www.bubbleteasupply.com/images/mangodrink270.jpg

Sadness, loneliness, melancholy
Preoccupation with health
Aches, pains, and allergies
Insomnia, desire to sleep too much or too little
Changes in temperament, depression, feeling vulnerable, feeling powerless
Anger, irritability, resentment, unwillingness to interact with others
Identifying with the old culture or idealizing the old country
Loss of identity
Trying too hard to absorb everything in the new culture or country
Unable to solve simple problems
Lack of confidence
Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
Developing stereotypes about the new culture
Developing obsessions such as over-cleanliness
Longing for family
Feelings of being lost, overlooked, exploited or abused

Honeymoon: Everything is great, nothing is wrong, you’re having a wonderful time.

Shock: There are so many differences in this country that you don’t know how to deal with them. You didn’t think things would be like this.

Negotiation: You learn to deal with the problems set before you and try to integrate them with your own beliefs.

Acceptance: You are able to live well in the environment with the differences you are experiencing.

Sadness, loneliness, melancholy
Preoccupation with health
Aches, pains, and allergies
Insomnia, desire to sleep too much or too little
Changes in temperament, depression, feeling vulnerable, feeling powerless
Anger, irritability, resentment, unwillingness to interact with others
Identifying with the old culture or idealizing the old country
Loss of identity
Trying too hard to absorb everything in the new culture or country
Unable to solve simple problems
Lack of confidence
Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
Developing stereotypes about the new culture
Developing obsessions such as over-cleanliness
Longing for family
Feelings of being lost, overlooked, exploited or abused

I feel that way when I read too many newspapers. can you feel culture shock from your own culture?

it's not just the midwest. i hear it everywhere.

that's funny -- when i was a kid and we went on vacation in vermont sometime in the late 70s, they had the same thing. and i think that it was at a pizza hut!

JBR, I'm curious about why you moved? (sorry if that's too nosy)

silly ned -- the world is manhattan!

i think that it may be a northeastern corridor thing (from D.C. to boston), not just NYC. at the very least, in both the NYC and Philadelphia metro areas "slice" definitely means "cheese only."

food seems to be the top culprit for culture shock:

I had to attend a Chinese wedding last year in D.C. We were served 12 courses of the most repulsive food I've ever seen. I was at the brides table, right next to the aged Chinese mother and father so I couldn't sneak the food into napkins or under my plate. So I ate a tiny, ice-cold, bright purple octopus (whole!), candied jelly fish, gelatinous shark fin soup and something I could only describe as "Beak Ball", a strange, coconut encrusted ball of meat(?) with what looked like a giant, toothed beak sticking out of it. (it was a crab...once)
According to the groom I should now live an extra 25 years and have amazing virility and luck with finances! Thanks Beak Ball!

And then of course, if you're in the South, you can ask for a Coke and still be asked "What kind"? A perfectly valid answer being "a 7-Up coke."

needed a change of scenery, needed somewhere i could live cheaply for a while, and wanted to be (somewhat) closer to where my guy is.

you ignorant bastards

Socializing
Socializing in America is different enough so that you need to be aware of a few facts. The differences are certainly not as great if they are compared to socializing in China or India for example, however you may need to make a few adjustments to your expectations and social behaviour. It also takes a little bit of understanding of the average American - the analysis here is very generalized. Your own experiences will be unique.
• Most Australian-expats find that the average American's first reaction to an Australian and the accent is quite favorable. If an American has little knowledge of Australia, they will often try to find a common-ground to make conversation with you by searching their minds for anything Australian. These situations happen frequently and you will often hear comments such as, "Oh, I really like the Crocodile Hunter", or "I've seen Crocodile Dundee". Others will say things like "I'd really like to visit Australia", or "Where in Australia did you live?". This last is a funny one, because more often than not they don't know anything about Australian geography so no matter where you say you lived, you'll get a blank look in return.
• While comments such as those above can irritate Australians, keep in mind that the American is simply trying to establish some common-ground while attempting some friendliness. They don't mean to offend. Many of them are genuinely interested in Australia, so tell them a little about it and yourself, or steer the conversation to topics more comfortable to both of you.
• Most Americans don't have a great deal of knowledge about Australia, or many other countries in the world for that matter. Australians find this amazing - but there is a reason for it. Australian education includes many studies that involve countries all over the world - while American education revolves mostly around America. Also, when Americans travel they travel within their own country mostly, while Australians are far more likely to travel overseas. The movie and television industries are focused mainly on America too, which have the effect of insulating Americans even more. All these factors can tend to give the average American a label of "ignorant", so it's important to accept them as being a product of their culture, and not to use this as a determination of their intelligence.
• While Americans enjoy the Australian accent, they find it difficult to know the difference between the Australian, British, and New Zealand accents. This is not so hard to understand if you ask yourself would you know the difference between a Chinese, Japanese, and Korean accent? :)
• When first meeting Americans in a social situation, you'll be delighted to find that they are very friendly and talkative. However, getting to know them is far more difficult. This is quite the opposite of Australians who tend to be a bit reserved when first meeting somebody new, but then warm-up fairly quickly and are easy to make friends with. This is a very "generalized" view of Americans, and different regions of America can also produce differing attitudes. Overall though, choose your friends as you would in Australia - by common interest and pleasing personalities.
• Americans are very "politically correct" and are extremely careful with what they say in conversation. This can drive Australians crazy, however the Aussie candid and sometimes opinionated way of speaking can be quite alarming to an American.
• Having a few American friends around is not only an effective way to deal with homesickness, but it is quite productive too. They are more than happy to help you understand some difficult aspects of their culture and can make communication in restaurants and stores much easier by offering "interpreting" services when needed. Often your American friends will get as exasperated as you do when a server or a sales-clerk has difficulty understanding your accent. :)
• Australians are used to just "dropping-in" to see a friend, staying for a coffee and a chat. This is definitely not the case in America. You will not be thanked for dropping in unannounced to visit a friend - it's just not something they are used to. It's really best to call ahead to see if it's convenient for you to visit.
• Americans are more likely to invite you to dinner or drinks at a restaurant or a bar rather than at their own home. When you are invited to dinner at a friend's home, it's polite not to stay too long after the meal unless an express activity has been planned, such as watching a movie or other recreation. While in Australia it's common to stay for the whole evening when invited for dinner, generally in America it's expected that you won't stay much longer than an hour or two after the meal.
• In general, when Americans have finished a meal, they get up from the table immediately or very soon afterward to clean off the table. They seldom linger at the table for conversation after a meal.
• As a society, Americans don't drink as much alcohol as Australians, where drinking is very much a way of life. Americans save drinking for an occasion, and even then it's done in moderation. Many Australians find that within a couple of years of living in America, that their alcohol consumption has decreased very much.
• Socializing in America isn't so very different than in Australia. In fact it's probably one of the least stressful differences, and one of the easiest to get used to.

from the "matesupover.com" culture shock for australians in US

This is without a doubt my favorite thing about USA:

Americans are more likely to invite you to dinner or drinks at a restaurant or a bar rather than at their own home. When you are invited to dinner at a friend's home, it's polite not to stay too long after the meal unless an express activity has been planned, such as watching a movie or other recreation. While in Australia it's common to stay for the whole evening when invited for dinner, generally in America it's expected that you won't stay much longer than an hour or two after the meal.
• In general, when Americans have finished a meal, they get up from the table immediately or very soon afterward to clean off the table. They seldom linger at the table for conversation after a meal.

in australia if you go to someones place youre not getting out of there for at least 4 hours. god for a BBQ type deal mmaybe 6-8 hours

no wonder we all hate each other so much

As long as there are drinks served for all of those hours, I'm usually not complaining?

"now joining us via hologram is will.i.am" brought some culture shock lolz at the bar tuesday nite

ugh i dont drink. maybe that was the problem

i was gonna say, long leisurely dinners are what i like most about traveling

you guys. if the check isnt on the table by the time i finish eating im getting mad mad.

otm

i wasn't talking about eating in a restaurant

a lot of that stuff i've found to be very OTM, esp the part about it being difficult to really get to know people, despite them being friendly right off the bat. the way i've tried to explain it to ppl is: americans are way more polite than new zealanders, but much less friendly.

also: in nz it's considered v rude to bring the bill to the table unless it's been asked for.

New Zealanders are rude selfish shits who impose on people without asking.

dunno...was born and bred more or less in the northeast portion of u.s.

upon moving to the bay area, i was struck by how happy and friendly store clerks, etc. seemed. the laid-back cliche i think is true, but there's a caveat-- i guess it's analogous to the european/antipodean view of americans, which is to say that people will be super-friendly on a superficial level, but when it comes down to really befriending them or whatever, the flakiness comes out in full spectrum.

so i think east coast follows a closer "european" social model. broadly speaking, there's a more pronounced sense of personal reserve and guardedness emanating from people; however, once you're "in", you're truly in.