Search and Destroy: Government Workers

SALARY RANGE: 88,369.00 - 114,882.00 USD per year OPEN PERIOD: Monday, May 23, 2005
to Friday, June 17, 2005
SERIES & GRADE: GS-0403-14/14 POSITION INFORMATION: - This is a Permanent position. -- Full Time
PROMOTION POTENTIAL: FPL GS-14 DUTY LOCATIONS: 1 vacancy - MD - Aberdeen Prvg Gd & Edgewood areas
WHO MAY BE CONSIDERED:
Public: Applications will be accepted from United States citizens and nationals.

JOB SUMMARY:
Challenge Yourself - Be an Army Civilian - Go Army!
Civilian employees serve a vital role in supporting the Army mission. They provide the skills that are not readily available in the military, but crucial to support military operations. The Army integrates the talents and skills of its military and civilian members to form a Total Army.

Organization(s):
U.S. Army 20th Support Command CBRNE Mobile Laboratory, Edgewood Area of Aberdeen Proving Ground, MD

SALARY RANGE: 74,782.00 - 114,882.00 USD per year OPEN PERIOD: Monday, June 06, 2005
to Friday, June 17, 2005
SERIES & GRADE: GS-0132-13/14 POSITION INFORMATION: Promotion Potential to GS-14, Full-time/Permanent
DUTY LOCATIONS: 1 vacancy - Washington DC Metro Area, DC
WHO MAY BE CONSIDERED:

Any U.S. Citizen.

Current permanent Federal employees in
competitive service positions, former Federal employees who have
reinstatement eligibility, and individuals who are eligible to apply
under special appointing authorities may wish to apply for this same
vacancy under Merit Promotion Job Opportunity Announcement 05-DO-
001. Please refer to that vacancy announcement for details on
eligibility and how to apply.

JOB SUMMARY:

Want a world class career? Working at the Department of the
Treasury's Departmental Offices means working for an organization
that helps people and ensures the legacy of the world's most open
trade regime. As the Chief Financial Officer of the Federal
Government, the Secretary of the Treasury manages a diverse team by
promoting values that enrich our work environment and foster our
pride in the work that we do.

Position Location:
Departmental Offices
Office of Terrorism and Financial Intelligence (TFI)
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20220

KEY REQUIREMENTS:

* Applications will only be accepted online via CareerConnector.
* This position has been designated Special Sensitive.
* Must possess a current Single Scope Background Investigation (SSBI)

Position: ARCHEOLOGIST, GS-0193-05/07

Salary: $24,677.00 - $39,738.00 per year

Duty Location: 1 vacancy at HAWAII VOLCANOES NP, HI

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is located 35 mi. SW of Hilo (approx. 50,000 pop.)
on the Island of Hawaii. Headquarters and residential areas are at an elevation
of 4,000 ft. on the summit of Kilauea Volcano. Cost of living is 15-35% higher
than continental U.S., depending on present residence. Temperatures vary from
47-76 degrees F. in the summer to 42-74 degrees F. in the winter. Rainfall
averages 95 inches a year. Mountain View (15 mi. NE) has an elementary school
(Kindergarten through 6th grade). Keaau (22 mi. NE) has a middle school (7th and
8th grade) and a high school. Hilo has private schools, a 4-year university and a
2-year community college. Volcano Village (2 mi. NE) has two grocery stores, a
hardware store, and gas stations. Complete shopping, medical facilities and
commercial transportation are available in Hilo.

SPECIAL CONSIDERATION: The area of Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is subject to
high concentrations of volcanic fumes, especially sulfur dioxide gasses. The
fumes are known to be hazardous to unborn fetus, and persons with heart and
respiratory problems. Long-term effects on normal healthy persons are not known.

WHO MAY APPLY:
Open to all qualified persons.

DUD: Any Federal agent currently reading this through CARNIVORE. Fuck you and go find Osama.

HERE I'LL PUT A BUNCH OF ECHELON KEYWORDS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST SO IT WILL FOOL THE NSA SPOOKS

bombs guns marijuana anthrax anthrax marijuana

All DOC job descriptions tend to rave about the weather and the natural amenities because those are like the perks.

So could I still get an 'Intelligence Advisor'/'sensitive' job if I was once a member of the Socialist Party USA? Does the government still hold that against you these days?

(seriously, now: any government employee who does anything even vaguely "welfare"-oriented -- stuff like unemployment, immigration, and Medicaid -- will treat those who apply for such benefits like shit. i've seen this 1st hand.)

We're the ones who usually get treated like shit because people tend to assume that because we're there to give them money and have no choice in the matter they can treat us anyhow they like. It's interesting to note that most people somehow think we deserve it.

destroy the fool who just sent this gross admission of his own pathetic incompetence (note: I am responsible for the boogedys)

BOOGEDY-BOOGEDY,

If it isn’t too much trouble, could BOOGEDY spell out SARs as Situation Awareness Reports in future emails please? We utilize many acronyms within the National Operations Center and SAR is one that could potentially give us issues if not spelled out.

Thanks in advance!

Best regards,

BOOGEDY-Morrison

Operations Chief

National Operation Center

BOOGEDY-BOOGEDY

Department of Homeland Security

Bonus points for pluralizing operations in the message body and forgetting to do the same in his signature. You sir are a fuckin' embarrassment and how you got to be "chief" of anything is exactly why people get to stereotype all civil servants as lazy morons