Do you feel safe walking by yourself at night?

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Primarily a question for women, but it can apply to scrawny guys who tend to be asshole-bait.

How safe is it where you live? How residential is it? How comfortable are you walking by yourself after dark if there's no one else on the street? If you don't live in a sketchy semi-deserted part of town now, could you see yourself living in one?

I'm curious about how safe suburban/exurban/rural residents feel walking at night too, what with sicko tweaker serial killers about, and most such places' total civic disregard for pedestrians.

This isn't a "take back the night" rally; I'm just curious how women are dealing with this sort of thing nowadays.

Not My Full Name, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 08:49 (twenty years ago)

I like to follow G. Greer in this: It's usually safe and I don't want to give into the idea that chances are higher to be attacked at night. That said, people do get raped and attacked (at night and of course also during the day). Our city is pretty safe but I still don't like to walk alone at night. I guess because it's very rare that I walk alone at night. I live in the city centre, so basically the safest area.

nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

In large well-streetlit cities like London and New York I feel safe - but Minneapolis feels sketchy sometimes. This probably wasn't helped by being flashed in college by horrible old man while waiting for bus then being told to 'run along' by the next person I encountered when I asked *her* for help about a minute later. Though I did tell the old flasher guy to put it on the mantlepiece where I would smoke it later, before running the fuck away. It happened at a bus stop in front of City Hall/police HQ. Argh.

If I feel even the least bit paranoid on the way home I tend to make the keyring'n'fist weapon.

suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:04 (twenty years ago)

Suzy - I'm glad I'm not the only one to do that!

PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

I was discussing the keyring/fist technique with my bro and my eldest boy the other week, and me and my bro came to the conclusion that it's more likely to fuck your own hand up than do any harm to an attacker.

Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

I'm not a lady /
with the gun in my pantz yea /
i blend into dark

Vichitravirya XI, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

What, you were planning on punching the attacker with the keyring fist? Far better to slice with it.

suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

i have been punched once or twice. i once saw a guy loading up a gun in train station toilet.

these things made me anxious at the time, but i feel ok walking home now. i would definitely consider myself to be scrawny asshole-bait.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

If i feel breath on my sweater

i pull out my berreta

Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm a big, strong guy, and in the last year or so, I've found that I sometimes don't feel safe walking alone at night.

My wife will not go out alone at night ever, in any situation.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

I used to feel fine about walking alone at night, I'd often go home from clubs on my own and I enjoyed the darkness and solitude. Nothing bad ever happened. Sadly, my feelings have totally changed since I got mugged despite the fact that it was in broad daylight. I'm gradually getting back into thinking that it's pretty rare for anything to happen, but the thought hasn't quite filtered down to my emotions yet.

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

men get assaulted 10x more than women. gangsters like women.

sss, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

i was mugged a few years ago, at night when walking with someone else, so since then i tend to be jumpier than most of my friends.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

My wife will not go out alone at night ever, in any situation.

But at the chances that much higher for a woman to be attacked? I never thought so. I always figured it was guys being attacked more than women (like SSSS says). As much as I want to follow G. Greer, I still feel nervous walking on my own at night. The silliest thing I ever did: walk in some Hawaiian suburb and along the highway in the dark.

nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)


I'm a man, and I've only been 'assaulted' (minor) a couple of times. I think some people have failed to point out that women get harassed all of the time when they go out, and you don't know which one is going to be a real nutter.

bob n0pe (bobnope), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

The only time I used to feel unsafe was walking hom late at night, when I knew that the prostitutes would be stationed at the end of the road. the worst that ever happened was spitting, but there was often lots of threatening behaviour.

I always used to feel safe in central London, right up until I was walking back from work at about 9.30pm, up Gray's inn rd, it was still light, summertime, but the road was empty with no-one else about, and a vey tall bloke walked up quickly behind me, groped me, then started talking to me, saying that we should be friends, and generally being very intimidating. I managed to get onto the outside of the pavement and then cross the road, while telling him that I didn't want to be friends, then called Chris, willing him to hurry up and come round the corner, as he was walking to meet me.

now I'm always aware when there aren't many people around, and am very suspicious if I hear or see anyone else.

Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

i did, until i saw a group happyslap on my road, then i felt really unsafe (happyslap is such a bad word, this was a beating), but i feel safer again now

charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

It's weird, I used to think nothing of waiting around on dark deserted railway platforms etc late at night, and even after I was once approached by a man wearing nothing but a pair of trainers and a large erection I wasn't that put off. It was the total invasion of personal space and the sense of powerlessness from being mugged that changed me.

Fucking fucker, we go to court in September and if he gets off I will possibly be angry for the rest of my life.

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

There have been numerous incidents. I would say on a Saturday night at a certain time, ie if it's busy, I don't feel safe really, too many people shouting and drawing attention to you. I am definitely the sort of scrawny guy that would be targeted I think, increasingly I find myself unwilling not to respond to things people say aswell, which may yet end in trouble.

Last year some guy began shouting at me as I walked home, for no reason, and for whatever stupid childish reason I said "fuck off you fat cunt" and proceeded to mock him.

He did nothing at first but then grabbed me and tried to punch me a few times, kind of missing both times. Some passers by were like "what are you doing?" to him then and he stopped. But he proceeded to find some friends of mine the same night, and stabbed one of them with a bottle in the neck, felt kind of lucky after that, though my friend was fine, somehow.

So yeah if alone I do feel nervous on the way home, I think there's always the chance of something happening, even if it's only verbal interaction or baiting (very common and quite annoying sometimes).

It's hard not to feel a violent rage towards those who attempt to start fights, as hypocritical as it is. I remember one night last year coming home and some guy starts a fight with me for no reason, absolutely no reason, and keeps trying to make me hit him or something, and then 4 of my friends came around the corner by chance, 2 really big guys, and this idiot is still going on at us and trying to start something even as at this stage we're all laughing and ridiculing him.

But you just think in so many situations that guy would have got battered to a bloody pulp, and like we all pretty much wanted to but something stops you I suppose.

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

In the part of town I live in, I walk around alone at night a lot and never have a problem. I actually walked from one side of town to the other after getting off work at midnight (I didn't know anyone who could take me home -- my mother was out of town and I didn't really know anyone who had a car, plus the public transport stops running at ten in the evening) and encountered no-one at all, although I did get worried when I approached one particular park that's not very well-lit and is completely shady, as a lot of rapes have occurred there. If I encounter anyone, they're either walking the dog or jogging. It'd probably be pretty stupid to try to mug someone or anything of the sort when the state Department of Corrections is just up the street -- not that it really signifies anything. I wouldn't consider my city safe, though, as it's a college town and so it's bound to attract shenanigans -- and I think a complete sense of security here was blown away entirely after Ted Bundy attacked five girls here in 1978. I'm not sure if I would consider myself "scrawny-asshole bait" or not -- I'm admittedly very thin, yes, but I'm very tall, too, and so that could be a bit intimidating.

Ian Riese-Moraine: exposing ambitious careerists as charlatans since 1986. (East, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

I feel very safe on campus because my walks are usually around 10 minutes, it's well-lit, there are security phones every so often, and I have a cell phone. I know something could happen anyway so I am a little nervous sometimes but I think that's mostly a response to being told that women should feel nervous *all* the time when out at night. At home I live in a small suburb in the middle of farm country and I feel less safe walking at night because there are fewer people around or places to go for help should I be threatened. But I rarely have a reason to be walking alone at night at home, as none of my friends are within walking distance and there are no businesses open after dark either.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

i never felt comfortable walking alone at night on my university campus, because it seemed like every other week the administration would issue a bulltetin about a flasher/groper on the loose. in one instance, it turned out to be the ethnomusicology professor!

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

oh dear! we only had one of those alerts (about a guy who was flashing women and then attacking them when they rejected him), and that was during the time i was going to a professor's house for dinner, got lost looking for it, and wandered around in a dark deserted part of town for 20 minutes. that was definitely the most nervous i've ever been walking around at night, i wondered if it was kind of stupid of me.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

I generally feel pretty safe although I always have my guard up. My husband worries about me much more than I do, and even more so now that I'm preggo. I live in the business district, and it's busy during the day (although the last muggings I heard of happened during business hours) but at night it can be really dead.

On the weekends (if there's not a ball game) I can walk down the middle of the street and not see cars, let alone pedestrians. If I walk ten minutes north, I'm in the middle of projects/assisted living, and of course some of the complexes are fine and some are really scary. There are also three major homeless shelters in the neighborhood, and I've had very few problems with any of the residents, but once in a while you run across someone who is mentally ill.

I still feel safe though, the worst I've had to deal with is catcalls (you're going to get those anywhere)--like nathalie said, remember statistics are in your favor and you can't live in fear.

teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

I did until the below scenario(happened a few months ago). I know it wasn’t on a street but it could happen anywhere. Now I’m a little more observant of what and who’s around when it’s late & I’m on my own. Not gonna let it rule me though.

I went to a kind of warehouse party last weekend that was being held in an old mental hospital near didsbury. All was well until I separated from my friends. I walked down a corridor past a few young lads who pushed me against a wall and asked where my drugs were. I told them I didn’t have any so they punched me in the ribs and went through my pockets taking my wallet & phone; they then give me a bit of a kicking which didn’t seem to last more than 30 seconds. I got up feeling furious, so I (having thought about this since have realised it wasn’t wise) I followed them shouting at them to give me my stuff back. This seemed to make them awkward as they told me to f off or I’d get my head kicked in. I paused and thought f it. I kept following them asking for my wallet back and my sim card from my phone, they threw the phone at me & gave me my wallet back minus the £40 inside. Apart from the cracked rib & cut on head, I think it could’ve been worse.
What are your experiences of being mugged or taxed as we call it over hear, did you put up a fight or let them take whatever they wanted.


there's more stories on the "mugged, taxed thread".

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

argh. that thread kept me in the house for a like a week with a hammer by my bed to ward off any thugs that might have made past the double-bolted and chained door!

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

also, it really put me off didsbury.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

didsbury is fine!

charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I am aware but not frightened. I'm more nervous now that I'm out of shape and can't easily outrun people anymore.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

with a hammer by my bed

i have one of these, http://www.westernfireandsafety.com/police%20maglite%20flashlite.jpg

blind them then start cracking skulls!

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

We have a local maniac still on the loose - two unsolved hammer murders + several attacks on lone women. All supposed to be the same guy. You'll have seen these in the paper - the first one was Marsha McDonald, the second one Amelie Delagrange. That one was about 2 mins walk from my house. One of the non-fatal attacks was literally a few feet from my back gate.

So we watch out, but I wouldn't say we're living in fear.

Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

I stroll around/take the the subway all the time in the middle of the night. It drives my parents crazy, so I try not to mention getting home at 5am too much. For the most part, the streets in the city are well lit and the trains are strangely crowded, so I don't feel that unsafe. I tend to avoid some places in Williamsburg because I just don't feel like the lighting is that good over there. Strolling past a warehouse next to a weed filled lot or under the BQE at 4am? Don't think so. I make sure to turn my music down when I'm alone and it's late and I'm always stay aware of my surroundings.

Candicissima (candicissima), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

Primarily a question for women, but it can apply to scrawny guys who tend to be asshole-bait.

I live in a city in central Massachusetts; my school is set up as housing interspersed among the neighborhood and city buildings. It's not particularly safe (occasional murders, some harrassment, drunk driving), but the crime rate is not too huge and there are campus police and safety phones around campus. I used to be pretty comfortable walking at night short distances, as my boyfriend was a six minute walk down the street, but one night I was followed way too closely by a guy and the fact that I realized I would have just been frozen with fear has made me incredibly hesistant to be alone in an isolated area, or anywhere at night. I have also been Propositioned and several gross things have happened. If anything, Worcester had made me disgusted with men and drinkers. As far as advice goes, I always walk down the middle of the street because I can see both sides of the street and I feel an attack would have to be a little more overt, and when it comes to propositions I don't antagonize the guys I just lie and say I am meeting my friend or boyfriend.

Doc, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

I feel totally safe walking through Berkeley at night, and most of SF. Some areas of Oakland maybe not so.

I *never* felt safe walking at night alone in London!

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Motherfuckers always want to start some shit.

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

I'm cautious but not really afraid, I'm on the skinny side but black and tall so at night I'm the bogeyman, which has its good points in this respect.

tremendoid (tremendoid), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

My new girlfriend came to my place for the first time on Saturday. On Friday I'd walked her home, because she felt really uncomfortable walking home late at night. I thought it was a nice area, and she didn't believe mine was nastier, poorer and scarier. We were walking down my street when she said that I was right, and she wouldn't walk there alone any time, let alone at night. "Um, this is the nice part," I said. She thought I was taking the piss, but 200 yards later she said "Oh god, you weren't exaggerating. Aren't you scared around here?" I said, "Actually, the bad part is still to come - we turn down this alley here and go round the back..."

She was scared even with me there. It doesn't scare me at all. It is an aggressive place, and I think one of these days I'm going to get the shit beaten out of me (this will be because I keep getting confrontational with trios of black men, each half my age and six inches taller than me, coming home very late at night), and I'll start being frightened.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

I feel fine walking around berkeley as well but I live in a nicest part of berkeley. SF I've never had a problem in, even the "bad" areas. Oakland: fine, although I'm not going to take my chances in some areas. I never had any problems any of the times I've been in London either but then I wasn't really paying attention, I'm probably lucky, considering how drunk I was.

kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

I feel pretty safe walking anywhere. OTOH, nothing bad has ever happened to me, and rule number 1 if anyone fucks with me is "keep walking". But I'm not physically threatening at all myself (dunno if I qualify as "scrawny" anymore, I def. did for awhile, but I'm 6' about 145 lbs.) My neighborhood - the Mission, SF - I guess has some reputation as being "dangerous". There have been (gang-related) shootings near my house. There's crazy homeless people about. Also aggro drunks. And yet, I feel as long as I project confidence and keep my wits about me, I'm safe. Must not fear, fear is the mindkiller.

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

to be fair, sometimes (less often) it's trios of white men, but that's only when Spurs are at home (I live near the ground), and the fact that there are more people around, and more police, and it's not so late at night makes them less likely to be really dangerous. Other times, most of the people I see on the street are black. And once of twice it's been just two at a time, not three. The only time one started getting pushy with me (he was white) it didn't last long enough to be called confrontational. And there was one time when there were three of them, black again, who were each a third my age (I was 45 then) and I just laughed and they backed off, so I don't know if that one really counts either.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

Leiden is pretty safe, espec. in the centre. A gang of Morrocan youths used to hang out smoking dope at the end of the alley, + I didn't like the idea of my wife walking past them alone at night, but nothing happened. The one time I did get mugged, in A'dam, was in broad daylight.

stevo (stevo), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

I do just fine. I've walked home alone from a club to my house often, even it was a 40 minute walk.. then again

a) I'm a guy
b) I usually look like I don't want to be fucked with
c) I live in central Seattle... not exactly even Getting Mugged City (although it's not out of the question, of course.)

Pretty obviously, there's not much to fear.

donut e-goo (donut), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

see, I feel like maintaining that "do not fuck with me" image (at least mentally) makes me feel safer, personally - but I have no idea if I actually look like someone that should not be fucked with (I kind of doubt it). What exactly does that constitute?

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

I live in the country. Have done since I was 8yrs. This, coupled with childhood in the city, makes me feel MORE comfortable in bad neighborhoods rather than less, for some reason ((as opposed to my farmer-kid neighbors who, in HS, were afraid of even *driving* in the city...and these guys were HUGE). In Dublin, once: some friends of mine were trying to find some pot. Some guy at the bar suggested going to such-and-such street (n. side...anyone?), but not without a knife. My friends and I were baffled.

1. The two guys I was with were 6'+ and large. I am 5'7" and 145.
2. Dude. It's Dublin, not Gary, right? We ended up not going for a different reason altogether.

Anyway. not sure where I'm going with this. Basically: I'm small, hayseed, and have a really short (HA!) temper (espc when drunk). Thus, some day, someone will start shit with me on the street and I will get cut. But not before I kick his teeth in.

giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

b) I usually look like I don't want to be fucked with

I'm with this. If I'm going into a bad neighborhood or area (which I've done on purpose before (as opposed to an alternate route), perhaps foolishly) I get the game-face on and get very sensitive to my surroundings. Even though most people would have a pretty good shot at kick my ass (and could probably tell from 100yards), I can run much much faster than you.

giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

most of the time i feel okay by myself but i also took a self-defense class and i'm not afraid to tell strange folks to back away. i also walk with "purpose" as i've heard that's what you should do. even though i feel mostly safe most of the time, i don't find a lot of reasons to go out by myself alone at night, even though my neighborhood is perfectly fine.

kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

"If I'm going into a bad neighborhood or area I get the game-face on and get very sensitive to my surroundings"

this is my attitude 100%. But then I'm told my normal expression is one of total pissed-off-ness, so the mad-dog face thing isn't too hard for me.

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

do it all the time. almost never had an incident.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm just concerned that this is going to get me into trouble someday (it already has w/the polizia). I can be a little too proud sometimes. Some call this "Napoleon complex," I call it "Irish."

giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:22 (twenty years ago)

I was also surrounded by about 10-15 teenage thugs in Bologna. They all made cut-throat gestures and kissy faces at me! Just like in the movies!

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

the most threatening situation i got into was in a public place (though at night) -- when i was charged at by a 300-lb female crackhead at the 30th street train station in philadelphia. luckily, there were cops there who intercepted her before she got to me.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

300-lb female crackhead

a recent crackhead maybe?

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

I've gotten into a lot more trouble in Paris than anywhere else though I did find London particularly aggressive and intimidating. I was mugged in Paris at knifepoint about 4 years ago by two inept junkies but that's not nearly as frightening as macho, aggro drunks.

I live near some projects and there are quite a few guys on Haight Street selling drugs. There have been several murders near Haight and Fillmore over the last year or two years so there is some justification to being careful around there but the murders were all gang related. As vanilla as I sometimes look, I make a point of being polite and affable to all the dealers/gangsters in my hood lest they mistake me for a tourist or an asshole and I mind my own business.

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

sound strategy M. (tho a friend of mine recently left that 'hood after someone was stabbed to death in front of her house. I can't say I blame her)

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Move to East Oakland!

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

I live near some projects and there are quite a few guys on Haight Street selling drugs. There have been several murders near Haight and Fillmore over the last year or two years so there is some justification to being careful around there but the murders were all gang related.

Most of the recent murders have been at the hands of the cops. Also 10-13 years ago the neighborhood that M. is referring to was much, much different than it is today.

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Tell us, pops!

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

a recent crackhead maybe?

hee hee, i guess so. she was NASTY, though.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

(though maybe she was 500 lb. before she started smoking crack -- who knows?!?)

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

I was thinking of these, gygax.

June 5, 2004

May 9, 2004

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Are you accusing gygax of making generalizations?

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

Qui, moi? Dieu m'en garde.

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

Because he has LITERALLY never done that.

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

oh yeah, both of those happened in front of where Adam and Alex go dancing!

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Nickie's?

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Or The Hemlock?

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

I went dancing at SF Underground after a party last weekend.

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

I actually can't/don't dance, I have a leg injury - damaged SI to be more precise.

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

This also means that I can't run, so I appreciate living somewhere fairly safe.

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

SI?

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Sacroiliac

the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

I feel pretty safe where I am - its a big jewish family area, so there isnt a whole heap of trouble, especially ever since they shut down the pinball arcade down at the shops that was just a front for dealers (who'd hang out the front gobbing on the footpath and yelling at passersby).

The funny thing is, I'm only a short distance from St Kilda which is still pretty bad, despite its gentrification. Loads of prossies, pimps and pushers, and in this whole wider area (St Kilda/St K East and Prahran) there are a lot of hostels and homeless people who are sometimes pretty unhinged and wander around the streets shouting and haranguing people, but fairly harmlessly.

I have never been mugged. I dont get around at night on my own if I can help it, I get taxis and lifts to clubs and stuff, and I'd never ever go about at night dressed in ANY way provocatively (I dont care what any feminist says, I know it is wrong that dressing certain ways should mean ANYTHING but stiff shit, it just does, so avoid it). I try to avoid being anywhere unfamilliar if I am drunk or otherwise out of my head. When I do get around in the evening, say home from work, I am familar with my surroundings and walk with casual but determined confidence. Never wear a bag that can be easily grabbed off you. For gods sake put away the obvious riches - ipods, mobile phones etc.

Become invisible.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Oh and obviously, dont talk back at people. Amazed at the people on this thread and elsewhere I know who talk back/abuse an aggresive passer-by and then wonder why they get chased/punched/driven after in a car/screamed at etc.

Run away and/or just ignore them. I totally go into "I'm not here" mode around such situations.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh and obviously, dont talk back at people. Amazed at the people on this thread and elsewhere I know who talk back/abuse an aggresive passer-by and then wonder why they get chased/punched/driven after in a car/screamed at etc.

OTMFM -- i know from experience. (e.g., that 300-lb crackhead in philly charged me b/c i said something smart-assed to her [though i knew that cops were nearby].)

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

Yup, if someone is drugged off their nut and/or insane, they wont even notice you unless you draw attention and ping their paranoia radar.

Like the time a bunch of us inadvertently made this mod kid aggro at a club. We were actually looking at him and admiring his mod suit! It looked fantastic! But he was pissed (or speeding maybe) and came right up in our faces and said "are you looking at me? Whats yer fuckin problem? You taking the piss?" and yelling a shitload and ignoring our "no man, we like your suit!" exclamations. His g/f had to pull him off us, basically.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

In the 11 years I've lived in New York, I've been assaulted twice on the street, once at night and once in daylight. The first time I got sucker punched out of nowhere by a (black) kid who knocked me on my ass and said, "Get out of my way, nigger!" (I'm white), the other time it was in Chinatown and crossing the street and some guy almost hit me with his car and I yelled, "Hey!" and kept walking. Half block later a HUGE guy comes up behind me and puts me in a headlock and yells, "Do you know what mafia means? We put you in the basement! We put in you the the basement!" Then he grabbed my thumb and tried to bend it backwards. I pulled my hand away and said, "Who are you?" and he ran off.

But neither of these bothered me that much. The first one was just a random teen trying to impress his boyfriends with pseudo thug behavoir and the other, well, the guy was just a dipshit (would a real mafia guy really say that? Doubt it.)

Point being you can't go thru life being afraid of what MIGHT happen. That's just no way to live.

shookout (shookout), Thursday, 16 June 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

P.S. Take Back the Night Marches are fucking stupid.

shookout (shookout), Thursday, 16 June 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

yeah sometimes, though less in the place i live now than the last one, though i think people perceive the previous area as safer. i live on a well-used (by both ppl and traffic) road off a very busy main road, so there are always a few people dotted around, which i like. also i find the THIS IS MY STREET I LIVE HERE look/walk does wonders, maybe nothing would've happened to me anyway but i think the worst i ever got so far, touch wood, was "do you wanna buy some weed? no? have you got some we can buy off you then?" and "you're quite pretty. do you live up there?", both from the same gang of teenage boys that hung around our street.

emsk, Thursday, 16 June 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

scrawny guys who tend to be asshole-bait.

Hmm, I'm 5'9", have a shaved head and am quite good at lifting heavy things. Doesn't seem to stop them starting on me.

Oh and obviously, dont talk back at people.

See, now I used to agree with this. But over the last few months I've become tired of rudeness and aggression from strangers. Tired enough to reason pleasantly with them provided they aren't hanging out with a bunch of mates, anyways.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 16 June 2005 05:43 (twenty years ago)

I have soooo been resisting starting the obvious parody thread:

Do you feel safe wanking by yourself at night?

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 16 June 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

His g/f had to pull him off us, basically.

Fucking mod.

(xpost: resist)

giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 16 June 2005 06:35 (twenty years ago)

at the moment i feel uneasy about walking anywhere any time of the day or night. seems like i can't even go into a bookshop or record shop any more and browse without someone trying to elbow their way into where i'm looking and issuing threats when i fucking challenge them. like they can't wait 30 seconds, their life is so busy and important. or schoolkids getting on the bus and causing a ruckus. or even walking down the street minding my own business and some prick comes the other way and won't move to the other 90% of the pavement which is totally clear, no he wants to walk exactly where i'm walking, he's so fucking important, so i end up having to scream "IS THE REST OF THE PAVEMENT MADE OF FUCKING QUICKSAND OR SOMETHING???!!!!"

i mean, what is it about london? i don't get this aggro when i go to glasgow or anywhere else. ok i've been here 20 years and i ought to know what it's like by now, but over the last 2-3 years it's definitely become worse.

you end up just wanting to give up. like, why should i have to get in a fight every time i dare to take one step outside my house? you know, it's a case of, well i'll just work from home, buy my books and music from amazon or wherever, order my food and essentials online, because at the moment i don't feel i want to go outside my house at all, and it's not agoraphobia.

makes me want to go back to italy, to be perfectly honest with you.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

I totally get that in Brighton, too. I just DON'T CARE if you're in a hurry, you should have fucking left yourself more time or got some sense of proportion and then maybe you wouldn't be treading on my heels and fucking TUTTING at me. I was waiting to cross the road the other day and someone shoved past me with an exasperated sigh, then when he got to the other side, turned and looked at me shaking his head in disbelief/pity at my inexplicable tardiness. I AM WAITING FOR THE GREEN FUCKING MAN, SO SUE ME.

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 June 2005 08:31 (twenty years ago)

that wouldn't be chris eubank, by any chance? i saw him in brighton once, consuming a pavement with his tank.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, don't get me started.

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 June 2005 09:08 (twenty years ago)

Marcello, you sound like you might have some issues.

shookout (shookout), Thursday, 16 June 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

what? that i have the right to my own personal space and expect other people to respect that right? that i expect other people to exhibit the same common civility i exhibit in similar circumstances? well how bourgeois, decadent and humanist of me to think such naive thoughts! imagine! thinking that the only way forward for humanity is to treat each other with basic respect? what was i thinking? i'm obviously on the wrong planet!

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

I like the fact that that v. v. busy asshole had the time to turn around and look disgusted at you! WTF? If you're so busy, keep walking! It has never occurred to me to turn around and give dirty looks to people I can easily get around standing in a crosswalk! What in the world. Unless you were standing with like 7 of your mates, blocking the entire way, that's just bizarre.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 16 June 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

Anyway Marcello is basically OTM anyway. I mean, yeah, maybe if you literally scream that thing about the pavement, that's a bit much, though it's funny as hell, but I've been known to make comments "to myself" v. loudly when someone acts in public in a manner that is...curiously unaware that there are other people on the planet, let's say. Eg. people who step in front of you in line (not inadvertantly in a jumbled up situation or something), people who stand on the walking side of the escalator and then refuse to move over, people who block subway doors, posses of people who walk 4 people wide across a pavement and don't move over at ALL so you can pass, etc.

But that has nothing to do with the thread, if people shout things out cars at me I usually just grin and wave at them, or sometimes ignore them, I don't think I've ever spoken back to someone who does that! But OTOH no one's ever said anything threatening or rude to me out their car window or from across the street.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 16 June 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

That's just what tutty English people do, Ally. They just tut at you and you're supposed to work out what you've done wrong.

Some days I am the queen of TOURIST, RAUS! SCHNELL! behind slowies on Oxford Street/Tube escalators. I do shout at them on occasion.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 June 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

tourists must die!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 16 June 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

i would answer this question, but i never really walk--especially at night.

Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 16 June 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

tourists must die!

That's mighty parochial of you, Eisbar!

M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 16 June 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

Hm, if Marcello has issues then I must have too.

(I know Ally, it was so weird. I wasn't in a gang blocking the way or anything, I was on my own. People are just dicks sometimes. QED.)

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 June 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

I try to be very helpful and nice to tourists.

gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 16 June 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I try to be very helpful and nice to tourists.

As I've been helped by random passersby in purportedly unhelpful cities like NYC and Paris, I try to repay the favor by being helpful to people in mine.

M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 16 June 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

I try not to live my life in fear.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 16 June 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

That said, precautions are good.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 16 June 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

seriously, i do try to be as helpful as i can. sometimes, though, i just don't know directions and such (NYC is a big city and i only work here). not everyone that you encounter in NYC (or paris, or any other big city) knows every nook and cranny of the city.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 16 June 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)


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