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When you're riding your bike down mainstreet and you lose your paddle, how many pickles does it take to reshingle a roof?

Purple, because ice cream has no bones!

(I need a beer)

― C J (C J), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

because seven ate nine.

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

You think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist???

― Huk-L, Friday, 17 June 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

a stick.

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

What is Asterix?

― Huk-L, Friday, 17 June 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

thirty five-year-olds

― Aaron A., Friday, 17 June 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

One-Two-Three-Four is racing Un-Deux-Trois-Quatre across the river. Who wins?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:08 (twenty years ago)

One-Two-Three-Four, of course.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

'Cause Un-Deux-Trois-Quatre-Cinq.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

*groan*

― C J (C J), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Why'd the plane crash? BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD.

Just let that one sink in for a while.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

the tears of a nation

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

MY DIXIE WRECKED

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

I don't know but it's drving me nuts.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

*Grumbles* "The first thing CJ has said to me in months and it's 'groan'!?"

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

"You oscillate its tit a lot."

― StanM, Friday, 17 June 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

Better Nate than lever.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

What'd the mountain bike say to the sheik?

GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU STUPID SHEIK.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

giboyeux, why don't you give some of that beer to CJ, man?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

Michael Jackson

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

I really need a beer.

― C J (C J), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

I'll just put some here in the telporter, CJ. What kind are you looking for?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

― emsk, Friday, 17 June 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

peeled baby in a bag of salt.

― stevie shaw (stevieshaw), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

I haven't even had a beer yet. It's only 2.30pm!

Where does the chicken keep his oil can?

UNDER THE STAIRS.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

One of its legs are both the same.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

i don't have a corvette in my garage!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

It's not my thumb either.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

Oh, that's from the guy who crapped in my pants.

― StanM, Friday, 17 June 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

I totally just spent like the last thirty minutes fucking around with my Windows XP theme on this computer. Now I just have to get my browser sorted straight. When I'm done, one day, when I'm totally satisfied with all my settings for the office, I'm going to take as much of my user profile information as possible, zip it up and send it to my Gmail account so I can just use it anywhere I log in.

No, actually I'm never going to do that.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 17 June 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

half a cat

― matlewis, Friday, 17 June 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

A frog...in a BLENDER!

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 17 June 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

Speaking of beer...

A skeleton walks into a bar, plunks down a few bucks on the bar and tells the bartender, "Give me a beer - - - and a mop."

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 17 June 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

RECTUM?!?!?! Darn near killed him!

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm a frayed knot.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

http://www.athensnewspapers.com/images/051701/iverson_allen.jpg
HOLLA.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

Disaster.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

Because he's only got little legs.

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

(ET, that is)

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

Why should I not fiddle while Byrne roams?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

A nun with a spear through her back.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

Q: Where do sick boats go?
A: To the dock.

Q: What did the tree say to the lawn in the autumn?
A: I'm leafing you.

Q: What did the slug say to the turtle?
A: Hey, slow down!

― The Kind and Benevolent Oracle of Dee (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 18 June 2005 05:31 (twenty years ago)

Where does the chicken keep his oil can?

UNDER THE STAIRS.

I read this as "under the stars" and thought it was the most beautiful joke ever and I almost cried

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:24 (twenty years ago)

I read this as "under the stars" and thought it was the most beautiful joke ever and I almost cried

It can be. Just wish harder.

― giboyeux (skowly), Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

it went down the road and turned into a farm.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

Why did the girl fall off the Swing?

BECAUSE SHE DIDN"T HAVE ANY ARMS!

― shortcircuit 2!, Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk?

because its HEAD WAS STAPLED TO THE FLOOR!

― shortcircuit2!, Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:45 (twenty years ago)

I like your style, number 5.

― giboyeux (skowly), Saturday, 18 June 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

i ain't goin near him, he's a fucking psychlepath.

― emsk, Saturday, 18 June 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

With jam in.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 18 June 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

i hope you like jam in too.

― emsk (stevieshaw), Saturday, 18 June 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Because it makes it easier to turn the pages, stupid.

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 18 June 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

why not, I'm a fungi

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 18 June 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Why is a lemon?

Because it can't swim.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: exposing ambitious careerists as charlatans since 1986. (East, Saturday, 18 June 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Some coffee and some ice cream.

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Saturday, 18 June 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

But if you peer into the car window, you'll go straight to hell.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 27 October 2006 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

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