Encyclopedia of ilx's Troll; also opo

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My poo is Calum.

Not so much concerned with the rights or wrongs of the practice, or why people do it (there are other threads for this). Just wondering if anyone here is willing to to admit to being an authority on ilx's long history of trolls, and if they'd tell me a bit about all of them: Who was the first, etc.? What is the style of each individual troll (nasty, playful, obtuse, rakish, peverted, charming)? Who may have started as a troll, but then eventually became ilx establishment / attending FAP's, even? What might the troll of the future look like? Who tried so hard to be a troll, whilst there efforts went pitifully largely unoticed?

― Nintendo Carl, Sunday, 19 June 2005 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

Just names to add to the list:

Doomie
Bosko Balaban Statistics (?)
GARU G
The Amazing Randy
TIM@KFC.EDU

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 19 June 2005 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

During the first thread on which I remember Calum acting trollish, Sleeper vs The Strokes, I thought he was genuinely funny through sheer exuberance of insult and sounding convincingly and surreally psychotic. Obviously an ass, but it made for a very funny thread. I usually enjoy the trolls. Calum's stuff became tired very quickly though.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 19 June 2005 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

i guess an ilx troll feeders pov would be more interesting

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Sunday, 19 June 2005 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

I think people don't always realise trolling is taking place until they've seen several posts by the same person. It's a subjective label anyway: I mean in simplest terms it just means anybody who pisses a bunch of other people off, and that can cover a broad stream of behaviour. And I guess different moods might lead somebody to respond to trolling quite differently: some days it's easy to ignore, other days reading some provocative bullshit might make yr head snap and force you to respond against yr better judgement.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Sunday, 19 June 2005 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

other days reading some provocative bullshit might make yr head snap and force you to respond against yr better judgement.

Another good troll thread: Alex in NYC vs. Smash on Are any of you punk rockers?.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 19 June 2005 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

I'm a borderline troll at this point, so y'know...

(pick me! pick me!)

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Sunday, 19 June 2005 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

garu g

― DAEREST V1CE MAGAZINE!!!!! (ex machina), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

My opo would be J0hn D4hl3m, that 30-vehicle mental auto accident on a foggy freeway to nowhere. His spaz-out a few months ago made me realize that trying to talk to someone who needs quick medical help is like trying to put a band-aid on an amputation. It made Ahz's similar meltdown easier to deal with (i.e., ignore).

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

B3cky Luc4s, easily. Utterly, utterly horrible in every concievable way.

C*l*m gets a prize for longevity, I suppose. Doomie, I think, was genuinely outraged by some of the stuff we came out w/. back in the day.

This shd be a pov for trolls from other boards, j*y d*n*nv*ll*, who just about killed the ah0t list off, or "xg", for example. Actually, fuck that, it's a terrible idea

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Neither (the original) Amazing Randy nor TIM@KFC.EDU is a troll. They are works of art.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

I liked Dada, but he might be more in the art direction as well, unless you're on dialup.

― M Annoyman (Ferg), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

Neuromancer!

― Tom (Groke), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

rofl @ that sleeper/strokes thread, anyway. c@lz3r getting more & more irate as it goes on, j blount doing it like a g o right from the start.

Back in the greenspun days, calz0r did have this habit of posting troll threads pretending to be other ilx people. He really has been here for ages and ages and ages.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

Who may have started as a troll, but then eventually became ilx establishment / attending FAP's, even?

http://ilx.p3r.net/newanswers.php?board=86

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Citing "Neuromancer" is Tom's way of pulling rank. "I was here first!" I think he(?) actually was the 1st ilm troll.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

I liked Dada, but he might be more in the art direction as well, unless you're on dialup.

Dada posted on just about every thread at one point, and wasn't even clever, let alone 'in the art direction'. The Real Randy and KFC post(ed) only occasionally and start(ed) their own threads.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 19 June 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

Does conner Smedley fall in the Randy/KFC "harmless nonsense" category?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

GARU G /= troll

― Amon (eman), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

Do Geir and Trife count? Do they count more or less if they actually believe what they posted?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

OMG DID TRIFE ACTUALLY LIKE HIP-HOP??? WHATTA TROLL!

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

I think the meaning of troll is getting confused.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

b3cky luc4s seconded. just blisteringly insane.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

Do Geir and Trife count?

There is no sense in which Geir is or was a troll.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Monomaniac would be closer to the mark.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Sunday, 19 June 2005 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

The old Randy (who just posted "HI DERE!") wasn't a troll, but my vote for the most irritating troll goes to his later incarnation. Unlike Calum, he wasn't funny at the least; he made personal attacks towards Jon Williams (and made me sympathetize Jon, even though just a short while earlier I had considered Jon to be quite trollish himself), shitted on numerous threads and almost made ILE become "registered users only". Then there was of course "JAKC", but that was most likely just the same dude.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 19 June 2005 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

there is no sense in which trife was a troll either!

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 19 June 2005 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

has lived in my front room for more than a week = is not a troll

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 19 June 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

sweet jesus, get over yourselves.

― sunny successor (standing in the light of my own musical power) (katharine), Sunday, 19 June 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

cz b3cky luc4s only stayed six days

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 19 June 2005 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

that was it? whoa.

waitaminit mark, do you live under a bridge?

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 19 June 2005 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

this one:
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Hietbrink/Bricktales/Lord-of-the-Rings/lotrstory/book2/chapter205/lotr205-09.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 19 June 2005 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

could someone point me to a classic b3cky luc4s thread?

― rainy (rainy), Sunday, 19 June 2005 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

as requested

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Sunday, 19 June 2005 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

About six post into "Becky Lucas": C or D? there is a list of threads.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 19 June 2005 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

I like the whole googleproofing of 'b3cky luc4s'. Like a love so strong that we dare not speak its name.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Sunday, 19 June 2005 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

please explain: doomie and s trife for those who weren't there. Actually, please explain everyone.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

s trife's big schtick was to accuse everyone of racism wasnt it? He was bloody irritating.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

so like the anti geir almost?

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

also, the majority of trolls = classic until the schtick wears thin. I Think the first time I read a Garru C post I nearly choked on my morning cornflakes.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:52 (nineteen years ago)

doomie was/is verbose, often baffling, occasionally aggressive and difficult to reason with, but i never considered him a troll.

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

anyway he's been calmed down for a long time now

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Sunday, 19 June 2005 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

haha omg scroll down

― g e o f f (gcannon), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

I wrote a sentence once on ILM that, because I was imitating internet hax0r talk, had a few "yo's" and "'sups" in it, and trife fully went off at me about mocking black people's language or some shit. And I got angry and fell for it, didnt I. Thats a troll for you. :(

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

I have very often found Doomie to be absolutely hilarious. In his heyday I wondered if I had a troll heart because I would be jubilant while other people were fuming.

― estela (estela), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:15 (nineteen years ago)

oh oh oh real actual interaction with lol tolhurst here and here.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:17 (nineteen years ago)

even in my absence you speak of me.

― troll hero, Monday, 20 June 2005 00:21 (nineteen years ago)

haha hi there.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:24 (nineteen years ago)

anyway LOOK LOOK LOOK B3CKY LUC4S TALKING TO A REAL ACTUAL CURE MEMBER omg LOL

― g e o f f (gcannon), Monday, 20 June 2005 00:25 (nineteen years ago)

it's nice to know my time here did not go unremarked.

― troll hero, Monday, 20 June 2005 00:26 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 322 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

ally that describes practically all of us

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

i think hes funny

― oooh, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

"giving it to him altogether" is a pretty good summary of the "actually, blount" threa.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

You're more of a goddamned attention whore, jess.

xpost I think he's funny too! But really kind of like laughing at him funny rather than laughing with him funny, and if he's going to go all Orbit on everyone well do we really need another Atari Dick Riot?

Why am I answering my own questions.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

the new seinfeld dvd comes with a puffy shirt!

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

Too bad Morbius isn't straight, he and Orbit would be perfect together.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

C'mon, there's always room for an Atari Dick Riot.

― Amity Wong (noodle vague), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

chaki you lie!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://216.157.142.224/Image/Products/500/NV2175715-52.jpg

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

:D
best news! kisses xoxo

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

orbit was funny too! she wrote a contract that made my dick shrivel, made a dinner that made my mouth water, and jumped hoops around all the lame supermodels i jack off to!!

― oooh, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

I think my tastes are beyond reproach, and then I think "Big Fucking Deal."

(Isn't that shirt really tiny or something?)

― M. V. (M.V.), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.loc.gov/law/public/images/magna-carta-th.jpg

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

she makes good heroin brownies.

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

one time, my marketing teacher, this was like 10 years ago, maybe 9, anyway he was jammering on about his old job managing Grant's department store and it was pretty ok, I mean interesting enough but I was not paying a lot of attention. So ANYWAY he suddenly busts out with this one time they did a promotion called "Jumping for Dollars" in which they lined up dollar bills in a straight line and made fat women leap. However many dollars they could jump, they got to keep, like a long jumping competition. He practically peed himself describing fat women bumrushing the jumping pit and clawing each other up, for like $5 each. That is the only thing I remember from business and marketing class.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

http://people.smu.edu/cziemins/photo/MATT/magna%20carta.jpg

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

dick now shrivelled

― oooh, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.starco.info/hotels/kairo/img/sheraton_royal_garden_dinner_gross.jpg

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

mouth watering

― oooh, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/148/138/640/gglobes04a026.jpg

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

Why am I answering my own questions.

Because you're Ally?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

p...wned?

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

If Ally answers her own questions
And Dr. Morbius just answered Ally's question,
then... !!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

...

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

nairnworthy logic there

― oooh, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

sub-kingfish at best, tracer.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

That would be a step up for me. I love how the marketing professor was probably trying to illustrate some point but just ends up making fun of these ladies making fools of themselves. "Anyway... uh, homework is due by Monday, have a good weekend!"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

No, it wouldn't be a step up for you. Please don't stop being my hero, dude. Hey you comin to DC April 1 right?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

If I show up in DC April 1st I'm going to arrive at your house and some motion sensor is going to activate a rope that pulls a board out from above the door and a 5-gallon can of green paint is going to spill all over me, isn't it?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

She's going to make you do the truffle shuffle.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

No, if you show up to DC April 1st I'll just make you my scapegoat in my plot to uh "feed crackers" to all the uh "animals in the zoo."

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:13 (nineteen years ago)

Tracer I thought I emailed you about this. Did I not?!?!?!?!?! FUCK.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

april ally -- no results found

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

haha nice email, tom

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

check it again. I promise I did it! Just now!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago)

stop trolling

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

I like how the first sentence of this thread is "My poo is Calum."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

you are sending this to my fake gmail account, aren't you.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

tuomas really is
http://www.sportsbar.net.au/images/ali22.jpg

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:16 (sixteen years ago)

I'd honestly say he's overtaken C-Man and Momus by this point, yeah.

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:17 (sixteen years ago)

Depends what you mean by "great". No way is Tuomas as annoying as C-Man. Never really bothered reading Momus' stuff, life's too short etc.

― Queueing For Latchstrings (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:27 (sixteen years ago)

ya but t-man's been playing the long game

― s1ocki, Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:28 (sixteen years ago)

definitely more of an impressive accomplishment

― s1ocki, Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:28 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah, comparing C-Man to Tuomas is like comparing Toto Schillaci to Pavel Nedved.

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:31 (sixteen years ago)

uh... ya.

― s1ocki, Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:33 (sixteen years ago)

Tuomas = Hongrosexuality

― Queueing For Latchstrings (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:35 (sixteen years ago)

wow, great thread

― max, Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:44 (sixteen years ago)

nude spock is a better comparison point, but even with him there was a "fuck this" reflex that kicked in a lot sooner... t-bag is on some double agent gain their trust long-term shit that naan one of these inferior trolls ever attempted

― sippin margaritas on the beach in my adidas (and what), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:44 (sixteen years ago)

You might be on to something there

― Queueing For Latchstrings (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 February 2009 15:46 (sixteen years ago)

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