DEFEND THE INDEFENSIBLE - WILLIAM RIKER

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UGHHHHH

Ultragrill (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

There is no defense.

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

He played trombone on a Phish song!

nickalicious isn't sure if this quite counts as "defending". (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's a plus.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Also, he played, like, two notes.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Also, wasn't the song titled "Wolfman's Brother"?

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Oh, wait - he had his OWN track, didn't he?

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

DIE RIKER DIE

Ultragrill (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

He isn't Wesley Crusher.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Has he released any singles?

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

better mit der beard

kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Did it get in the Top 40?

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

about Riker's Mailbox

gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

Professor X called him a synonym for peepee!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

I kinda like him, he's like my 7th favourite Star Trek dude.

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

1. Spock
2. Bones
3. Kirk
4. Sulu
5. The alien doctor from Enterprise
6. Data
7. Willy Riker

(I think I lied)

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF ME AND MY BITCHEZ, PUNY INTERNET GEEKS

http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/gallery/wost/riker1.jpg

Lover man, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

The beard maketh the mannne.

Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

He continues the Kirkian tradition of the space-asshole.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

SPACEHOLE!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

ASSpace

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

haha

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Also, he boned Ensign Ro.

http://www.uwe.peterson.claranet.de/private/moviefaces/actress/f/mf_kalifornia03.jpg

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

http://hometown.aol.com/cmacmon810/images/troi%20and%20riker.jpg

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

NSFW! My eyes! My eyes!

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

She's built like a centaur with it's ass cut off!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

he reaffirmed my love of ilx, in the form of this thread.

carly (carly), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

WTF

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

Never trust a man who wears sweat bands in the hot tub.

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

I used to think Com. Riker was really cute. I was 8. I am so ashamed of this now.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Sorry Jel, I didn't mean to destroy your innocence like that.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

SPIKE TV

Ultragrill (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kinoweb.de/film98/StarTrek9Insurrection/pix/09.jpg

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

I WAS 8.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

haha

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

He does have nice eyes, though.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

He's totally ruling! You guys have no idea. That right-shoulder-forward John Wayne walk, in case he has to elbow anyone out of the way at short notice, that way of standing with one foot up on a monitor to make it easy for a passing minion to shine his shoes!

I'm telling you, Will Riker's where it's at.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

TS: William Riker vs. Jonathan Frakes.

http://www.moveleft.com/vegontv/images/riker6.jpg
http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/ce/0212/JFrakes_150x218.jpg

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

Just for the beard alone he should be sent to live with cat people.

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

i dont even know who William Riker is. did he play Data in Star Trek: the Next Generation?

Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

No, he was the horrible beardy one.

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

Dammit, I love Riker! He also played the villain in that Gargoyles: The Animated Series...

Charles Bronson should have played Bones..

poortheatre (poortheatre), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

think of the nerd poon he gets into, at will.

g e o f f (gcannon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

He was the Scud Stud of the Enterprise. Wash those feet, Riker!

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

he looks very gay now

phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

He looks very DRUNK now.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

NUMBER ONE MUTHAFUKKAS

J (Jay), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

ENGAGE!

J (Jay), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

http://trekweb.com/images/gustavo/050905a.jpg

yuck

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

8.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

troi totally hooked up with worf near the end, you always knew she was freaky inside

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

How much you wanna bet she scissored his forehead?

HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 15:42 (eighteen years ago)

did they ever discuss Klingon sexual practices? I'm just going to guess there's bondage involved.

milo z, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:33 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, worf beats this klingon chick and someone asks them if klingons consider that foreplay, and he's all "this IS sex!"

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:35 (eighteen years ago)

SIMONTRIFE: pregnant by worf
Ronan909: his wife goes but what about the neighbours
SIMONTRIFE: 'there is... biting.'
Ronan909: and he flings a cup of tea and goes
Ronan909: "AH FUCK THE NEIGHBOURS"
Ronan909: in a really funny irish accent
SIMONTRIFE: in retrospect his klingon sex doesnt sound very hardcore at all
Ronan909: no some girls make it seem tame
Ronan909: "there is slobbering and awful masturbation technique"
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909:
SIMONTRIFE: haha
SIMONTRIFE: calum is like ryker
Ronan909: "there is.......grabbing of pubic hair by mistake"
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: ryker thinks life begins and ends with white men
SIMONTRIFE: 'sometimes...the condom gets stuck in your pubes, and you have to stop for a moment... it is very stressful'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: ryker is totally aryan nation
Ronan909: "a condom has not been found for klingons yet"
SIMONTRIFE: hes sucha prick!
Ronan909: "we use ferengi ear lobes"
SIMONTRIFE: its ridged for her pleasure

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:36 (eighteen years ago)

trombone is such a great instrument for lesbians and painfully awkward men

http://z.about.com/d/musiced/1/5/c/A/57500009.jpg

gabbneb, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

trombone shorty is not awkward.

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:41 (eighteen years ago)

http://elvispelvis.com/trombonemaster.jpg

gabbneb, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:41 (eighteen years ago)

That sounds like an indie comic superhero.

THE ADVENTURES OF TROMBONE SHORTY

HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:42 (eighteen years ago)

Also gabb what's up with all the lesbian pics?

HI DERE, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:42 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.freshsoundrecords.com/cp_images/a1243.jpg

gabbneb, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:45 (eighteen years ago)

http://trumantoday.truman.edu/gordon.jpg

gabbneb, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:46 (eighteen years ago)

if you want to turn this thread into posting pics of cool trombone players, we can do that

http://blogs.citypages.com/pscholtes/images/Mardi%20Gras%2018.jpg

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:47 (eighteen years ago)

http://mamadigdown.com/images/jazzfest3.jpg

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:48 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.allaboutjazz.com/gallery/kfranckling/capemay2006b.jpg

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:49 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.citypages.com/blogmedia/pscholtes/StaffordtromboneReBirthBras.jpg

Jordan, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 18:51 (eighteen years ago)

Let's get this thread back on track.

http://www.boingboing.net/images/_bubble_Anki-Cosmic-bath.jpg

Nate Carson, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 19:02 (eighteen years ago)

five years pass...

This has been "making the rounds" and it is sublime:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVIGhYMwRgs

herr doktor (askance johnson), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:03 (thirteen years ago)

How did I seriously never notice that? Does anybody sit like that in real life? Is Jonathan Frakes an acting genius or just lucky?

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:13 (thirteen years ago)

Or does it just come naturally to 6'4" people?

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:14 (thirteen years ago)

This is useful for all your Riker-related Lorem Ispum needs:
http://www.rikeripsum.com/#!/

Neil S, Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:18 (thirteen years ago)

Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you. I'm afraid I still don't understand, sir. I've had twelve years to think about it. And if I had it to do over again, I would have grabbed the phaser and pointed it at you instead of them. They were just sucked into space. That might've been one of the shortest assignments in the history of Starfleet. You're going to be an interesting companion, Mr. Data. Well, that's certainly good to know. You enjoyed that. Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy. The Federation's gone; the Borg is everywhere! Worf, It's better than music. It's jazz. I suggest you drop it, Mr. Data. Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you. Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody.

Neil S, Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:18 (thirteen years ago)

lol.

regarding riker's style of sitting down, I'm fairly certain that this was a conscious decision on Frakes' part and that he is, therefore, an acting genius.

herr doktor (askance johnson), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:25 (thirteen years ago)

Sitting down in a way that displays your crotch to the entire room. That's so Riker.

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:28 (thirteen years ago)

it's because he's cocky

herr doktor (askance johnson), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:29 (thirteen years ago)

The second scene, where he gets off the chair in the same way - *that's* genius.

Elvis was a hero to most but he never her (ledge), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:31 (thirteen years ago)

I think it's a combination of being tall, having to stay in shot, and also Riker just wanting to appear awesome.

Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:56 (thirteen years ago)

it's hilarious that nobody ever says anything about it -- you'd think picard would be like, "what the fuck are you doing #1, sit down like a normal humanoid"

herr doktor (askance johnson), Thursday, 9 May 2013 15:58 (thirteen years ago)

Ha, yes, the one scene where Riker cock flashes Ten Forward and then Picard sits down without airing out his junk is probably my favorite.

About halfway through the video I started thinking, "Is that how men sit in chairs and I've just never noticed it?"

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:02 (thirteen years ago)

Oh wait it's not Picard. It's some other bald Starfleet officer.

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:09 (thirteen years ago)

I think that's the dude from LOST not Picard with the demure sitting.

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:09 (thirteen years ago)

Yeah I got it.

carl agatha, Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:15 (thirteen years ago)

it's too bad no one else sits like that because it would be hilarious to see a sequence in Starfleet officer training where they are showing dudes the correct way to swing their leg over a chair

far too much asshole flesh (DJP), Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:17 (thirteen years ago)

That should be why Wesley and Picard fail academy entrance exams the first time and their secret bond of shame.

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:21 (thirteen years ago)

According to a comment I stumbled across:

This was on reddit yesterday and Wil Wheaton confirmed Frakes did this because he injured his back and it was more comfortable then twisting his back to sit down the hundred times he would for each retake of a scene. It is also the reason he constantly leans on things.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 11 May 2013 23:40 (thirteen years ago)

the most amazing part is that he does it backwards, when he's getting up, too

j., Saturday, 11 May 2013 23:50 (thirteen years ago)

they're also kind of uniformly weird chairs

the bitcoin comic (thomp), Sunday, 12 May 2013 00:59 (thirteen years ago)

back injury is defensible! court rules in favor of riker.

Philip Nunez, Sunday, 12 May 2013 01:36 (thirteen years ago)

two months pass...

then after the writers’ strike, I’d grown a beard because I hated to shave. And Roddenberry fell in love with the beard, and the beard became a part of the character in a way that was, as Gene described it, was a nautical, decorative beard, which he took great pride in designing on my face.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 05:54 (twelve years ago)

http://www.avclub.com/articles/jonathan-frakes-talks-william-riker-playing-trombo,100891/

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 05:54 (twelve years ago)

He seems so affable.

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 12:24 (twelve years ago)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/y1QIfrU9pnE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

jbn, Tuesday, 30 July 2013 15:41 (twelve years ago)

let me try this again

http://youtu.be/y1QIfrU9pnE

jbn, Tuesday, 30 July 2013 15:41 (twelve years ago)

I just recently saw the episode where he's accused of sexual assault, and everyone on the Enterprise is like "of course we believe you, Will, we know you'd never do anything like that"

And I really, really wanted at least one of them to say, "umm, Will, no offense, but these allegations are not exactly shocking me"

ንፁህ አበበ (nabisco), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 17:01 (twelve years ago)

it was a leg swing gone horribly wrong

My Buddy® of sexting (DJP), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 17:13 (twelve years ago)

lol

precious bonsai children of new york (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 July 2013 17:31 (twelve years ago)

ten months pass...

http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sGx39yA.gif

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 30 May 2014 18:10 (twelve years ago)

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAbQTekUCjM

ian, Wednesday, 16 July 2014 01:48 (eleven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hdIwGcOL9o

odd proggy geezer (Moodles), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 01:50 (eleven years ago)

oh god those PUNS

Nhex, Wednesday, 16 July 2014 02:27 (eleven years ago)


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