What is it in your life that you feel NO ONE will ever understand?

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Maybe this is a stupid question, but I have certain things in my life that I feel no one will EVER truly comprehend, or understand, and this leaves me feeling a void. Does anyone else have a similar void, or am I just having an existential PMS cycle?

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

no way i think everyone has this feeling don't they? personally, i don't believe anyone will ever truly understand how i feel stupid and inadequate ALL the time, because i'm usually really good at everything, get good marks and good jobs and whatnot. so people scoff and say 'why would you feel inadequate? what do you have to feel inadequate about?'. but i do absolutely constantly, and it keeps me awake at night trying to think how i can be a better person and get rid of the feeling.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:38 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I don't need a soulmate, I need a brainmate.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:41 (twenty years ago)

I feel like my life is just not understood. I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not a Gen-Xer, I'm the forgotten generation. Like a camera, I remember the first man on the moon, the cultural ambience of the 60s and 70s, love and all that. The 80s and punk rock and all that. The 90s, art damage, and hard drugs. I grew up in a subculture, in a band from 17-35. In the music business, a particular corner of it renown for its insanity. No one will ever understand this, how one person can be a hippie and a punk. A PhD and a space cadet. A professor and a promo goddess. Maybe this is far too reflective, but I'm feeling far to reflective. Can anyone relate to this, or am I indeed, a lone freak? Do any of you have bizarre lives that that feel like you can't even *tell* people about because they defy rational understanding?

kind of an xpost, thanks for posting gem I appreciate hearing that.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:41 (twenty years ago)

I think my life is full of contradiction, but I don't expect anyone to understand, I don't even think about it.

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

People never really understand exactly what the situation is my copyright infringement case, no matter how many times I try to explain it, and that there is a difference between being sued by the RIAA and prosecuted by the DOJ. I hate it when someone brings that up in conversation with someone who doesn't already know it and I then have to explain it.

Sorry, I think I was supposed to be deep and introspective in this thread.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

Nah, it's all encompassing. I hate having to explain my name.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 02:56 (twenty years ago)

I used to have keloids on my ear. They were pretty difficult to explain.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:20 (twenty years ago)

gem is as OTM as it gets, i feel that way constantly, occasionally to others' befuddlement

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:21 (twenty years ago)

What are keloids? (Sorry)

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:22 (twenty years ago)

No one will ever understand this, how one person can be a hippie and a punk. A PhD and a space cadet. A professor and a promo goddess.

I don't think that's true at all, Orbit. Maybe I'm odd, but I kind of expect people to be multi-faceted and if anything, I'm disappointed if they're not.

Everything we do in life, every situation we are exposed to, every cultural influence which touches us or inspires us, every single new person we meet .... all affects us in some way. Changes us. Gives us a different perspective. Challenges our views. Enriches us. Opens up new directions. Shifts the horizon. So I believe that one person who is all of those 'diametrically-oppposed' personae at one time is a more rounded individual, more open to experiences, more alive.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

In answer to the original question: practically everything.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 05:23 (twenty years ago)

I reached a point a few years ago where I started to enjoy the alienation, though. I mean, it seems like if you accept a certain amount of alienation as part of a natural condition, as a sort of built-in limitation of the organism -- like having two eyes instead of six -- then it's less bothersome and can even start to seem advantageous. I don't know if I want to be understood all that well. It could be irritating.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

i like your approach gypsy mothra! that's a cool way to look at it

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 05:43 (twenty years ago)

I started trying to explain this to Emsk one night while very drunk, a metaphor based on my ex-boyfriend's art collection. How some people were ping-pong balls, and could just fit together wherever and whenever. And other people were like those hanging monkey games, that they could only fit together in certain ways with people that were also monkeypeople, with strange hooks and voids, and bits that aren't quite smooth and don't add up. A monkey and a pingpong ball will never understand each other - and it's mutual. The trick is to find other monkeys. You might not have the same hooks and voids, but you will find it easier to hang together.

― MIS Information (kate), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 07:13 (twenty years ago)

I also find myself constantly living a contradictory life, and a lot of the time it makes me feel like shit. Gem OTM though, everyone feels like it to some extent.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

I struggle to understand myself most days. I've given up on other people doing it.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

I understand myself perfectly well at this point. I just get frustrated when others don't understand (nor even wish to) understand themselves on the sale level.

― MIS Information (kate), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

Mickey isn't my real name either. It's a nick name I chose for myself when I was 2-4 years old. It has absolutely nothing to do with my real name (it isn't Michael or anything). People never understand that either.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

I Like the ping pong ball analogy!

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 23 June 2005 02:39 (twenty years ago)

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