Assail the Unassailable: Garter Belts

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They should be mandatory! Please choke me with one now.

― andy --, Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

The last time I wore a garter belt I accidentally picked one that I purchased when I was about 10lbs heavier and didn't notice until like an hour later when the thing was FALLING OFF MY BODY. So, that is my assault on garter belts.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

Yes yes, I had a similar situation.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

It made me like an hour and a half late to the New Year's party. Fucking thing.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

They rule

http://www.muldoonsmenswear.com/sock%20garter.JPG

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

AK, yr story seems more like a result of sloppy dressing than the garters' fault.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

Well I'm sure the garter woulda worked great on someone who was a size 6. I didn't check.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

You should have just stopped at a hot dog stand and chowed down.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

Oh you both think you're very clever, why don't y'all come say this to my face.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

how do you get the panties off through this thing?

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

A) You don't
B) Scissors
C) Don't wear them

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

It's like one of those garments that is too tight on the Hulk but then too loose on Bruce Banner.

― k/l (Ken L), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Oh you both think you're very clever, why don't y'all come say this to my face.

You moved so very far away...

how do you get the panties off through this thing?

You don't, you just pull the crotch to the side, duh.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I'm clever. I just like the thought of a girl on a streetcorner cramming hot dogs in her face and yelling at her thighs to get bigger already. (And I wasn't kidding with the Tribe similar-situation thing, I went through that drill with a pair of pants once.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

It's like one of those garments that is too tight on the Hulk but then too loose on Bruce Banner

Bruce Banner be avoiding thongs.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

One solution is to wear the underwear over the top of the suspenders but this seems to be a most aesthetically unsatisfactory solution.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

Garter belts make ineffective weapons in a rubber band fight.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

Or like a skinny girl sitting at Krispy Kreme with a really nice dress hanging beside her, and she's crying: "I have to fit into this dress by tonight. BRING ME MORE CREME-FILLED."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh come on man, you know I was just teasing as a way to get people to come visit me in the desolate jungles of Virginia.

errr xposts

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

Who in their right mind would want to do that? You must come to Annapolis next time I am down theres.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

hey, what about those key lime pie krispie kremes?

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

ANNAPOLIS??? UGH

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

hey, what about those key lime pie krispie kremes?

Those are teh poo. Take a big whiff.

ANNAPOLIS??? UGH

So is Annapolis, though it smells like fish.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Hey, now I'm sad. (If only because my dad lived in Annapolis for four years -- admittedly because of the USNA.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

(Hey Ally, I'm going to be in DC over the weekend of Aug 27 for a wedding! I SMELL DRINKING)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

D) Wear the panties over the belt and stockings.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

Or or or Linsday Lohan in two years, desperate for a part in a low-budget erotic thriller.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

That would be hott.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Cynthia Heimel advises wearing panties over rather than under the belt.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't look quite right, though. Best solution I've encountered was a woman who wore panties that were tied at each side - and she did them up so that you could easily undo them with your teeth, by the way. That way they go under the suspenders/garters, but can still be taken off just as easily.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

Now that is a good idea.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

there is a depressing lack of pictures on this thread

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Wearing panties OVER the belt is madness, think of the lumpiness. Just go without, it's really not that bad unless you're on the rag.

Also Dan that is fantastic, fantastic news!!! Maybe by then I will have a job and can pay for my own drinks instead of conveniently allowing everyone but me to buy a round!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

I'm with AKM on this one...

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

This has little to do with garter belts but one time I was at a benefit with some friends of mine and one of them dragged me to the bathroom to point out that my underwear was too visible beneath my dress. So I decided to go without and she kept it for me...but then proceeded to tell everyone that my panties were in her bag because they showed up too badly under the dress, totally defeating the purpose of discreetly fixing the problem anyway! Moral of the story is to not let drunks know if you are panty-free. And certainly don't let them keep them for you.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

Whatever would be the point of wearing the panties over them!? You might as well wear your bra over your shirt while you're at it.

That sounds really annoying, Ally.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

I too had the same experience Ally, lost some weight and midway through the night the derned thing was ‘round my ankles! What a disaster, but very funny now upon reflection.

And on the subject of the order of things….sorry to disappoint the gents, but yes, the panties go over the garter belt. Not nearly as interesting/esthetically appealing in appearance to gentlemen, however can we just remember that the idea of the garter belt and its origin was FUNCTIONALITY. They weren’t invented simply to please the eyes of the male population and turn them on much as the boys might like to think!

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

just remember that the idea of the garter belt and its origin was FUNCTIONALITY

And it's evolved, thankfully, to the realm of fetishwear and retro kink, so wear the garter over the panties, bitches, this is a celebration.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

so far everything on this thread is going on my fetish-to-get list

― jones (actual), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/96/1655/320/ellen%20von%20unwerth5.jpg

arf.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

http://images.bestwebbuys.com/muze/books/28/1560252928.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.spitting-image.net/archives/images/Helmut-Newton_mugler_monaco98.jpg

Interestingly, neither the Newton nor the Von Unwerth web selection of images have very much garter stuff...

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:41 (twenty years ago)

there is no key lime pie in that photo = it doesn't make my list

― jones (actual), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

http://www.leicagallery.cz/img_vystava/0031_1.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

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