Big Brother (UK 2005) - "They should be taken out and hung for the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue" : thread 4

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Hmm. If Derek doesn't get to go home, there will be well spoken hell to pay, no doubt.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:36 (twenty years ago)

He'll be likely to issue many stern reprimands, to be sure!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

Sam offered XXX TV job
Latest evictee Sam has been offered a new "role" on The Adult Channel.
If she takes the job, the student would directly rival BB5's Michelle Bass, who recently became the "face" of TVX: The Fantasy Channel.
"Sam would be the ideal person to present on The Adult Channel," marketing director Richard Gale told The Sun.

"She's got great confidence, clearly loves expressing her sexuality and is a natural in front of the camera."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:45 (twenty years ago)

^from DS^

Also, the eviction show is twice as long this week prompting speculation that there may be a new arrival.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

"She's got great confidence, clearly loves expressing her sexuality and is a natural in front of the camera."

They've only everseen a photo of her then?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:47 (twenty years ago)

A new arrival? If Derek goes, can we have Amanda Platell in there instead? That would increase my average BB viewing time by, ooh, about 100%.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1440000/images/_1440154_platell_hand300.jpg

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

tell me the full story of Max and Science row

On completing the task, the housemates were given "some alcohol". This included at least one bottle of wine and eight bottles of beer. Some horse trading apparently went on, and Science traded away his entitlement to beer for some of the cigarettes Maxwell had brought into the house to use as currency. Maxskia were under the impression that their 'half' of the "some" was the bottle of wine (along with Anthiny and Craig, who I remember telling us the other day didn't drink) and that they now had the beer as well. Science (disingenuously) believed all the "some" was to be shared and he had traded away his beer entitlement only, therefore was entitled to a glass of wine.

He tried to get one, with Maxwell following him round the kitchen and Saskia bellowing through the doors like a fishwife (Anthony and Craig nonplussed), and threats flying ("You don't want to know what'll happen if you take a glass of wine out of there."). Eventually, he managed to pour one and started to drink it, while Maxwell shouted in his face about how he was a thief (pot/kettle, I know). Science stepped back, waving his hand in front of his face, muttering "Your breath smells, man. Plaque attack! Plaque attack! Poo!".

Maxwell was then called into the diary room and told behaviour was getting out of hand and if it continued BB would withdraw alcohol from the house. On the way out, Science greeted him with "Nice wine, this."

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

I KNOW, I should be STRONG, but those BOOTS, those SUITS, that FASCISM...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:54 (twenty years ago)

I love it that BB give them alcohol and then reprimand them about bad behaviour. Perhaps they'll end up tying them to wooden benches and making them pick oakum for 25 hours a day.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

I mean, were they just supposed to line up the bottles in a row and look at them in a White Cube kind of aesthetic way?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

Craig and Anthony in the diary room was the gayest thing on TV in some time. Apparently some friends of (100% straight, allegedly)Anthony's have suggested he should move to Brighton as he'd "fit right in there". Craig has put it to him they should both move there and open a hairdressers.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 23 June 2005 09:59 (twenty years ago)

Are Craig and Anthony aware of prominent Brighton resident Julie Burchill's attitude towards people with certain sexual preferences who come into her town and push up the property prices out of reach of ordinary working-class salt-of-the-earth people who've worked there all their lives?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

I haven't watched Big Brother since the first one, but I'm finding myself strangely addicted to this one. They're all just sooo stooopid.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

The price increases are offset by media types from Bristol(?) moving there and loudly proclaiming their chav love on Sky 1.

That and people seeking bogus asylums.

xpost

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:12 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)
Marcello: your search AMANDA PLATELL JACKBOOTS did not match any documents.

I would be interested to hear such an opinion from JB, a bi-tryer who moved to Hove with her money, who is currently married to the son of one of the South Coast's most prominent millionaires. Wouldn't that be fun?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

One result in the New Statesman. Dull article by Ben Pimlott with no Platell content at all.

GOOGLE GOOD GOD Y'ALL! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NUTHIN' etc.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

- Craig actually seemed likeable for a moment, particularly with his 'dirty bitch' comment to BB.

yes i genuinely LOLed at this. i like craig now.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

well, i don't dislike him as much.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

I like Craig now.

― Cathy (Cathy), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

i've come around to him as well. totally shocking.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

his tirades against maxwell and his "unusually small mouth" and "feminine fingers and fucked-up feet" is probably the funniest thing someone has said

it's not that funny but still

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

yeah he comes up with truly bizarre insults. "i hope you find some extra small pants for your tiny baby dick".

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Craig is just latching onto the people he perceives as strongest. I don't think Lesley was making him feel particularly confident, which is why he came across as an arse when he was hanging around her, but this lot do, hence humour.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

but so was his butting into derek and roberto's "discussion" of politics, to confirm that reagan was american, and their "discussion" of the issue of immigration, to say he thought people shouldn't always leave their home countries because they think it'll be easier somewhere else and they should stay home and make their own country great--proving his point with an example: "lots of people have had it hard in our country's history...like...the suffragettes...but they didn't just leave"

crossposts

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 23 June 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

This new Craig luvs Anthony subplot is cute and amusing but I still think Craig is a poisonous little shit.

― Affectian (Affectian), Thursday, 23 June 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

yup. he's a dobber. mind, they all are. the least dobberiest is kemal, and even he's been whacked several times with the dob-stick.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 23 June 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

Right (blimey, all BB threads disappeared off "New Answers", whereas "Flush this thread" .. anyway I digress)

Today, three new housemates apparently? Two hot chicks and a hunk, or three hot chicks, according to the guardian. Or was that the Daily Star?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 07:07 (twenty years ago)

how about no hot chicks, no hunks ... just someone with a brain?

half a brain?

o well.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 24 June 2005 07:22 (twenty years ago)

Latest evictee Sam has been offered a new "role" on The Adult Channel.

If she takes the job, the student would directly rival BB5's Michelle Bass, who recently became the "face" of TVX: The Fantasy Channel

seems I won't be seeing her in the City Arms in Cowley Road anymore, then!

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 24 June 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

Maxkia seems to be back on, after he told her how much his parents house was worth. People in other rooms could see the £ signs in her eyes.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

Give it a week or two..

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

xpost naturally.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

"She's (Sam) got great confidence, clearly loves expressing her sexuality and is a natural in front of the camera."

You're 'avin' a laff intcha? On all three counts.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

So, she gonna be doin the shaggin then?

― maxwell grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:25 (twenty years ago)

I assume she must be useful for something in this life

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:27 (twenty years ago)

I didn't bother my arse watching this last night. Did anything happen? Also, are there any indications from Channel 4 or anywhere else that this series is a bit of a disaster?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 24 June 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

It's boring boring boring. Bring back the Black & White Minstrels.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

"O! dem golden slippers..."

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:10 (twenty years ago)

right I haven't watched this for a week. what are the key developments? if I spend hours catching up on DS and the C4 website I will feel awful so please can someone summarise? xxx

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Sam went.

Last week, Maxwell was self appointed top dog. Oh, no change.

OK, They won a task.

Roberto and Derek up for eviction.

Apart from that, all is the same.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

Radio 1 apparently now confirming three new housemates will enter tonight.

Also, somebody needs to explain betting to BBC webmongs:

This will be after the result of the fourth eviction, which bookmakers are convinced will be Roberto.

Odds of 11/10 for his demise are being offered by William Hill, compared to 4/6 for Derek.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

Big Mouth On Friday

Day 28, 21:45
Join Russell, actress Terri Dwyer, style guru Normski and Big Bro obsessive Michael O'Keefe for some pre eviction banter&
more

STYLE GURU NORMSKI????????

― On one hand I've got myself to blame (Lynskey), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

Well, they have to call him something, he might object to "talentless twat and general all-round embarrassment"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

Don't diss the Ski

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

I have a 12" single by Normski, on respectable 23 Skiddoo related label Ronin.

It's every bit as good as you might expect.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 24 June 2005 09:58 (twenty years ago)

He had sex with Janet Street Porter - need I say more?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 24 June 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

ITV teletext claiming the three new HMs are:

An Irish female model

A busty-loudmouth exhibitionist

A young man with few friends

The middle one may well be Gr4ce, who used to work in one of my locals. She was in the rehearsals where she got her kit off far more, and more speedily, than she had thought beforehand; and is both busty and loudmouthed. She told us in the days immediately before the start that she was the first choice female reserve.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 24 June 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

I once saw Normski on a bike in Piccadilly Circus. He's either brave or brainless.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 24 June 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

He had sex with Janet Street Porter - need I say more?

I think you've said quite enough there. It's lunchtime but I've mysteriously lost my appetite.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 24 June 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 421 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

What should be done is face-to-face nominations on the sofas, then a half hour phone vote whereby the evictee is chosen BUT the twist is that they stay in the house for a whole week until next Friday without any chance of winning but giving them the chance to cause all kinds of shit.

Unfortunately they'd probably pick Vanessa who would sit in a corner and sulk for seven days.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

BBLB right now is golden - a caller saying that once Saskia goes, everyone in the house will merge into one group and be happy. Another in the studio saying that Saskia is really smart and witty, so should stay.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Lesley would totally win a re-enter the house vote, no competition.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I would vote for her and I have no credit on my phone!

― c/n (Cozen), Friday, 1 July 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

Mary! Back! repeat this is not going to happen... this is not going to happen...

― elwisty (elwisty), Friday, 1 July 2005 18:50 (twenty years ago)

Here we go....

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

And tonight's special appears to only be 55 minutes. I think it has to be an extended interview. And hopefully a stoning.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

Can you guess who's going by the boos?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

And, yes, all this is is an extended highlights show, official.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

Dom Passantino presents Completely Forgotten Heroes of Reality TV.

#1: Shanners from Bar Wars

http://www.channel4.com/community/showcards/B/Bar_Wars_-_Jodine_and_Shanners.html

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

"Queen Africa"! "Kebab"! Craig must DIE DIE DIE. I can't believe they thought a) that the bed incident would show THEM in a good light, and b) that Saskia is going to get an amazing reception. Jaw dropping.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

I think Orlaith and Makosi need to become my friends.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

No-one out in the traditional slot. I think people are worried what those two would do in the half-hour gap before they have to leave.

― On one hand I've got myself to blame (Lynskey), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

I really hope that Kemal has put together a special erotic dance to celebrate Saskia's eviction.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

"Queen Africa"! "Kebab"! Craig must DIE DIE DIE.

It's awful. It's like watching the most malignant chapters from my schooldays played out in front of me. I'm not sure why I'm still watching it. Oh wait, I know. Because, like Tim, I'm doing something else at the same time.

How's the picture framing going, Tim?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 1 July 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

I know it's been said before, but Anthony really has got his escape route from Team BNP sussed already. He's not an idiot.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Having worked night shift 7 days in a row (this being my 7th), I'm completely out of synch with what the hell is going on in the show. They should have a catch-up show, like the hollyoaks omnibus, but make it about 30mins long. Ah well, I'm sure I'll figure it all out next week.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Oh my fucking christ....

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Craig to Anthony: "I control you. I control you in this house, nobody else."

Note to Craig: die now, plz.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

For anyone not watching at the moment, recreate the sounds that we have just heard by swilling around some spit in your mouth for a minute.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

God that was the slurpiest thing I ever heard...

― Guy Beckett (guy), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

Someone shouted "Die" in the audience.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

It's Swastiskia, anyway.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

Someone shouted "Die" in the audience.

Maybe it was just a hairdresser

</crap pun>

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

And those are the loudest boos since Becki.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

"She's getting quite a.... mixed reaction".

Davina's such a wacky former junkie Clapton shagger, no?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

She is at least the first evictee I can remember actually blanking the other housemates on the way out. Not that they seemed especially bothered.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

One question: did the first series of BB have much booing at evictions? I really can't remember.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

No, it didn't. Neither did the second one.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Who was the first housemate to get booed? Adelle?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

I can't watch this. I hate this racist bitch and her bully boy followers. I'm away to me bed.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I've got to turn over as well. Someone with a higher cunt-tolerance please give updates.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

A bunch of bloody monkeys?

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

"They're a bunch of bloody monkeys in there"

For fuck's sake get cancer bitch.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

God she is revolting.

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Saskia, on whether Maxwell should now try to make friends with housemates other than Craig and Anthony:

"I mean, they are, like, a bunch of bloody monkeys in that place"

(bah xpost)

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Hah, someone left the sound from Saskia's mike up after the cameras cut back to the house.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

(Davina and Saskia seemed to be talking about Lesley, but it was difficult to hear what Saskia was being told)

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Science was talking about moving into a higher tax bracket. What a hero.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

God that was vile.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Saskia was complaining about being booed and asking to see her family. Davina was comforting her by saying it was nothing compared to lesley who got 'lynched'

― a, Friday, 1 July 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Craig: "I have to think of a scathingly witty nickname for Makosi. Let's see, she's African and she behaves like a queen. What could I call her that emcompasses both these qualities? (thinks) She's from Africa, and she's a queen. She's African..... and she behaves like a queen. Ooh, I could think of something that not only makes those things obvious, but is also the name of a film! Or a song! But mainly a film. That would make it, like, a full blown pun or something. Now let's see, what films can I think of? Naah, best stick to just the one entendre for now, stick the other in later. She's African, and a queen. She's an African person who reminds me of a queen. She's an Afric....QUEEN AFRICA! THAT'S IT! That's the one. Oh Craig, you rock at puns."
(Does the "I rock at puns" song and dance)
The rabbit working the controls in Craig's head: (drops head in hands and starts shaking head) "Shitting hell Craig."

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 1 July 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

> They should have a catch-up show

they used to but not this year. the psychologist show seems to have been dropped as well. btw, the previous night's show is repeated (with additional cuts) at 7:30am the next day if that's any use.

less boos than i was expecting. craig gets viler and viler with each passing day although to be fair(?!) his audition video was v sweary.

roberto good on bblb this week and lasted until thursday (they'd sidelined lesley and sam by the wednesday). will be interesting to see how long swastikia lasts. roberto and mary, sitting in a tree...

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 1 July 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

anyone notice Maxwell's quasi fascistic black shirt get up?

― elwisty (elwisty), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

had to change channel when their mics picked up Maxkia's slobbering and slurping. too gross.

"I mean, they are, like, a bunch of bloody monkeys in that place"

to be fair i don't think she would mean this in the context it's being taken in here - she referred to herself as 'a quarter black', not 'a quarter monkey'. i don't understand why she got booed so much more than Maxwell who didn't seem to get any at all despite being the aggressive one (when Davina asked people why they wanted Saskia out, nobody seemed to offer a proper reason, no-one said 'cos she's a ill-proportinonately breasted flighty racist and it's doing my 'ead in' for example - is it cos she is ~~quarter black~~ a woman? still, glad one of them is out of there as it means no more horrible snogging sounds.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:23 (twenty years ago)

While I was very pleased to see Saskia go, not least because of those revolting slurpy fumbles, last night's show was oddly un-enjoyable. Maybe that's because I had managed to convince myself that there was a chance of Maxwell going; maybe because I wanted Davina to be much harder on her, or at least impress upon her that the idea that she & Maxwell are enormously popular among the viewers is completely false.

The picture framing went well and without pretension, with only one small slice stanley knifed into the floor!

― Tim (Tim), Saturday, 2 July 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

Thanks to Cressida for many LOLs (as they say)

― Britain's Jauntiest Shepherd (Alan), Saturday, 2 July 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

New thread now?

― On one hand I've got myself to blame (Lynskey), Saturday, 2 July 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

very quickly, before this one dies: davina not picking saskia up on the use of the word "monkeys" is shocking; cowardice or just stupidity? i watched the repeat this morning (saturday) and my jaw hit the floor at that point.

to be fair i don't think she would mean this in the context it's being taken in here

perhaps not. but casual racism/casual ignorance: ultimately the effect is the same.

the entire existence of BB6 is beginning to make me feel physically sick.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 2 July 2005 11:19 (twenty years ago)

Big Brother (UK 2005) - Come anticipate Craig's eviction with me (thread 5)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 2 July 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

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