Unsexy

Perhaps I'm looking for trouble? Ha, look hard enough and I'm bound to find it.

Have you seen her?

I never thought I was the jealous type, but he started talking about her the day I was down in the dumps due to my period (bloated, spotty and tearful). Way to go.

What exactly was he saying about her?

It's not "needy" to need someone. And it's not pathetic to look for a little reassurance from your partner. It's one of the things people have partners for. But sometimes you just need to give a bloke a chance. Like Jody said, he might have been having a bad day too. It's hot and humid and everyone's pissed off to have to be in work. Maybe you're right, maybe you are looking for trouble and trying to provoke a row. In which case, now would be a good time to query your electricity bill or something. I always save those things for when I have my period.

Well that'd kinda piss me off, if I turned up and my SO was wearing my pants. I'd be inclined to spend the night watching telly as well.

She's only there for the next eight weeks.

I'm using her here as some kind of catalyst - I hope this is due to the way I'm feeling and not some kind of intuition. It's the first time a female stranger has really been on the scene and this is the way I'm reacting?

Whenever I've asked him for attention before he's been hurt and put out, "we're fine baby, I love you, you love me, have I done something wrong?"

pretty otm in my experience.

As you say, this is the first time you've felt threatened, AND it's coincided with a period when you're feeling down about yourself. After a couple of years together, unusually cuddly or sexy or special times together are pretty rare - comfort and assurance and someone's thigh to lay your hand on while watching CSI tend to be how it gets. If the boyf was thinking unpalatable things, this cosiness would be broken by him and his actions - and it sounds totally like it hasn't been. Do you usually bone when he gets in from work?

It's fine and natural to feel insecure and unattractive or whatever from time to time. Reading far more than this into it is either foolish, or (possible but unlikely) indicative that *you* have worries about your relationship (not extranalities like this girl) that perhaps you need to think about more consciously.

I agree. It's hard sometimes for other halves, be they male or female, because sometimes they feel that if you're down, it's somehow got something to do with them. I get best results from Bloke when I can make it clear to him that it's not his fault I feel like crap, but he is the one who can help me stop feeling like crap.

Markelby's right too. If there was anything suspicious going on here, you'd have picked up on it.

He says he was going to say something about the thong last night, but he remembered I'd told him I was on my period and he though sex was off the agenda!

I'm in love again!

Am now feeling pretty unconfident about myself and, as I said, newly single. Not slept with anyone else yet, and am pretty anxious about that. What if the problem was me? Am I entirely 'unsexy'? Have had great relationships with other people in the past, but this experience has really shaken me. I would have given anything for the kind of understanding Rumpie and Mr Rumpie seem to have going on here.

Oh, and Markelby - I had a wee vest top on.