really annoying dickish excuses that AREN'T EVEN NECESSARY!!: yr examples plz

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"please serve me first - i have a taxi waiting"

i. i was here first
ii. i am already bein served
iii. guttin and cleanin two mackerel takes 45 secs soup to nuts (and we are already at the cheese stage)
iv. there are two ppl serving anyway; i am the only customer in the shop except you
v. this is a fish shop in lower clapton road, there is no way you have a "taxi waiting"
vi. using the window as per normative practice, we can all actually SEE there is no taxi

haha the shop-owners - who are turkish but speak perfectly good english - have switched to maximum "me no speakee" just to hold this person up; she is havin to explicate the needless excuse loudly and carefully even though she is now the ONLY CUSTOMER IN THE SHOP and TWO PEOPLE ARE FREE TO SERVE HER

mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 June 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

(story posted in the historic present for purposes of vividness)

mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 June 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I get the "Hurry Up, I'm illegally parked" line all the time. Usually by customers who have taken their sweet time browsing for stuff.

tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 25 June 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

guttin and cleanin two mackerel takes 45 secs soup to nuts (and we are already at the cheese stage)

Everything about this sentence fills me with joy.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 June 2005 23:00 (twenty years ago)

It's like a whole meal: soup, nuts, mackerel, cheese. Smorgasbord.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 June 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

I don't know that I have ever seen you use the word "dickish" before, mark!

rainy (rainy), Saturday, 25 June 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

dick is my current word-du-siecle

mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 June 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

this is one of my fave threads ever even tho it petered out so quickly. I've quoted mark s's description of the events in that fishmongers quite a few times to non ilx-ers and they've all found it really funny!

Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 23 May 2007 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

sixteen years pass...

a response to a event invite that 499 other people were invited to which unnecessarily explains in painstaking, Tolstoy-esque length the reason you could not make it and how sorry you are.

earosmith (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 23 August 2023 04:21 (two years ago)

"Can you type this up, please, I'm hopeless with technology."

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 23 August 2023 05:23 (two years ago)


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