Objects and events at waterparks, C/D S&D

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-Wave pools, especially just as the buzzer sounds for another round of waves, and also catching a wave that sends you all the way into the shallow end

-Enclosed waterslides, the dark makes it more fun

-Waterslides that you go down on a tube; it always feels like you're going to go over the edge!

-The "lazy river" or whatever the circular canal that you can just float around and around in all day if you want (bonus points if it has interesting extras like fog machines and fake trees and rocks)

-Hot people with very little clothing on!

Destroy:

-The speed slides. There are almost always two of them, the straight one and the one that has a couple vertical axis curves on it, and they'll both give you a wedgie that you won't forget for a week.

-Sunburns. Dude, I applied SPF 45 like six times that day and still got a burn!

-Unattractive people with very little clothing on!

-Wondering just how much fecal matter is in all that water

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 26 June 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

In general, Classic. I've gone to the one at Valley Fair here in MN, Wyandot Lake in OH, and the Blaine city wavepool (which also has slides). I'd like to go to those FUCKING ENORMOUS ones (like Noah's Ark) in the Wisconsin Dells, but that shit charges an arm and a leg!

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 26 June 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

I mean don't destroy the unattractive people obviously (i am one after all), that was more just to provide a foil to teh HOTTNESS OMG

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 26 June 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

-2 15 y/o possible lesbians in the lazy river, splashing/making eyes at each other, obv intrigued for good or ill by my just-pubescent gaze

-hott female lifeguard, monstrously hit-on/gawked at by a gaggle of 12 year old freaks & powerless against it

-very real fear of death in a crowded wave pool

-4 15 y/o kids of mixed sex, gawking/making fun of my pasty gaunt 14 year old body (not that it's changed...ANY)

-bronzed male lifeguard, quizzically looking at same body (age 12 ver.) asking "dude...do you like, not tan, at all?"

-very real fear of death in a crowded wave pool

haven't been to one in years for what should be v obvious reasons.

oh yeah, also dud was when i got kicked out of the lazy river for not having some fucking arm band thing or something, but that'd mess up the whole symmetry thing.

― tao tse tang, Sunday, 26 June 2005 04:59 (twenty years ago)

in general, dud. never in my life have i had experiences where i felt a greater sense of creepy freakishness, that of He Who Does Not Belong, which is saying something.

i'm afraid this somehow sounds much more traumatic than it should, i actually find it now (and even to some extent, then) to be rather funny.

― tang or whatever, Sunday, 26 June 2005 05:01 (twenty years ago)

I like water parks except for the slides. Just thinking about high places makes me feel slightly queasy.

― Ian Riese-Moraine eats nation-states for breakfast! (Eastern Mantra), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

... and of the wedgies you can get as a result. ouch

― dahlin (dahlin), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

Search: GIANT FUCKING BUCKETS

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 27 June 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: funnel slides that scratch yr back as you slide

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 27 June 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

God I'd forgotten how awesome water parks are.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 27 June 2005 02:04 (twenty years ago)

Giant buckets!? I don't understand.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 27 June 2005 02:18 (twenty years ago)

Oh wait I looked it up. Huh, none of the places I've gone has had one of those, although it looks like they're quite common.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 27 June 2005 02:20 (twenty years ago)

looking at pictures of water parks I've never been to is just making me want to visit new ones more. I need to ride new and different slides!

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 27 June 2005 02:21 (twenty years ago)

Dan's initial post pretty much says it all so I will add nothing except WATER PARKS RULE.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

i love the drifting inner tube rides. so pleasant.

i've never understood the appeal of the spinning logs that you have to balance on - what's fun about that? it's like work.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

http://www.canaries-live.com/media/aqua.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

I'm not buff enough for this to be classic. I think I'd rather just swim in a regular pool, too. Or go to a regular amusement park.

― sleep (sleep), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I'm going HERE To PortAventura next week, where I shall enjoy a water park for the first time since I was 15 (8years ago). CLASSIC.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

-The speed slides. There are almost always two of them, the straight one and the one that has a couple vertical axis curves on it, and they'll both give you a wedgie that you won't forget for a week.

Here's what you need to know...

Cross your feet so that only one heel touches the slide.

Flex your neck so that only the back of your head touches the slide.

Don't be such a pussy; yes, you go down on just your heel and your head.

Keep your back and your giant ass off of the slide.

You go fast and off the end of the slide, possibly breaking an ankle, but it's so worth it.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

Fuck HTML formatting.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

Aw, they didn't have a waterpark when I went to Port Aventura (nearly four years ago). They did have a huge scary thunderstorm and loads of bats though.

All of the rides in the main park are rubbish. Unless they've built new ones since then, which, given that they've opened a whole waterpark, is quite likely.

Anyway, yes, waterparks. Classic. You get wet. It's fun. What on earth is there not to love?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

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