(you won't believe me) I am the biggest star on the planet

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and I'm comin' at ya!

― M, Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Kelly Osbourne, welcome to ILX.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

I'm on a yacht relaxin' with a couple of princes, JK Rowling and David Letterman. You honestly think Kelly Osbourne would be gettin' down with da dignitary? You migjht know me better as Madge, I guess.

― M, Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Ha testing my mobile

― Stevenste, Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

While you're on Madge, would you tell JK that her books FUCKING SUCK.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Ah well, can't please all of the people. JK

Screw you! M

― JK Rowling (and M), Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:41 (twenty years ago)

My mate thinks your music has gone down hill. i think you are ace

― Steonmob, Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

Kelly would've been more fun :(

Madge, you should hook up with Matthew Herbert.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Sunday, 26 June 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Which ocean are you sailing on?

― Steonmob, Sunday, 26 June 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

Moored off Exuma. Thanks for the support Steonmob, really. Hope you like my next album, called "Ebullience". I've just finished recording it - got Nile back in to do some tracks, and it's bangin'. Whereabouts are you in the world?

― M, Sunday, 26 June 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

In the north uk. none of my mates believe you are the real deal. They are all such saps.

― Steonmob, Sunday, 26 June 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

Madonna, are you wearing a red Kabballah bracelet? Because I happen to know those were made by underage Indonesian kids who die in the factories.

― Stoner Guy, Sunday, 26 June 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

And also I think there are bigger stars on the planet.

― Stoner Guy, Sunday, 26 June 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

Dude, stars are supposed to be in OUTER SPACE! A star on Earth would kill us all!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

WE WOULD BE CRUSHED TO SINGULARITIES!!!

If we were not burned to death first.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

Miss Ciccone:

I knew Richard Whiteley.

Richard Whiteley was a friend of mine.

Miss Ciccone - you're no Richard Whiteley.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Can you lend me a tenner, please, Madge? It might be a while before I can pay you back, mind.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Reality used to be a friend of mine

I knew reality

You aint no reality.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

Never mind all that...

Here's a link to a song that's ripe for a trance/house makeover...
http://69.72.228.43/~go-quick/mp3s/Have%20you%20seen%20this%20cat.mp3

50% royalties share. You know it makes sense...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Carol Vorderman: "Richard, it's Madonna for you"
Richard Whiteley: "I'm on the toilet"
Carol Vorderman: "But she's the biggest star on the planet"
Richard Whiteley: "Tell the biggest star on the planet I can only handle one shit at a time"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

You wasted your chance, there, guys.

― Sailor, Wednesday, 29 June 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

I thought this was a Momus thread.

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Wednesday, 29 June 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

You wasted your chance, there, guys.

I got to insult JK Rowling, I was happy.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Wednesday, 29 June 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

It would be so hilarious if this really was Madonna. I would find her even more lame than I already do.

― Stoner Guy, Friday, 1 July 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

I've just finished recording it - got Nile back in to do some tracks, and it's bangin'.

Nile the death metal band from SC? This is gonna be awesome!

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Friday, 1 July 2005 03:41 (twenty years ago)

Madonna is now in a corner crying next to Michael Costello.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 1 July 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

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