im sick of reading, hearing and thinking about relationships

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

mainly just cos i havent had any in three months. this sucks. cant stop thinking of doing it with my ex-bf but couldnt possibly suggest doing it for old times sake as i dont want to confuse him or make things worse between us. obviously i simply need to have a relationship but its not that easy to find a partner in modern london. or is it?

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:14 (twenty years ago)

Have you tried drugs, booze and casual sex? That usually takes my mind off it.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:17 (twenty years ago)

Nope, everyone's taken. That's what they all tell me, anyway...

xpost

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:17 (twenty years ago)

ive got the same dilemma so am going to try speed dating.

― ppp, Monday, 27 June 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

try your luck at this event,

there should be drone rock types galore at this event:

Kosmische Club's 9th Birthday Party!!
http://www.iotacism.com/kosmische/kosmische/index.shtml

Saturday July 9th 2005

LIVE:
Circle (Finland)
Jean-Herve Peron (Faust)
Delia Gonzalez and Gavin Russom (DFA synth genies)
Amal Gamal Ensemble (Shock-Headed Peters/Cyclobe/Guapo/Alabama 3)
Now

[details below]

Kosmische club djs, Barry 7 chamber, whacked-out films, liquid lighting by Lightning Rod from Bubble Vision, strangeness and surprises

From 9pm > 6am at a top secret central London location!

* £12 tickets ONLY available in advance from here: http://www.wegottickets.com/event/6008

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

That does look rather interesting...

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, I already got the invite to that. But the only boys there will be bloody ex boyfriends :-( and besides, I'm trig brothering that night.

(This thread is a parody thread/exploration of differing gender attitudes, FWIW - though if anyone has any *real* advice feel free to share it.)

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

and besides, I'm trig brothering that night

... you wha'?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

Trig Brother. It's this thing...

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

When is it? I've never done it before but might try it...

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Saturday July 9th - TRIG BROTHER FIVE (feat. added Ned)

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Man, I'm fucking skint else I might well have trig brothered

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

What time is it kicking off? Would need to plan train journey...

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, I'm certainly not going to be finding a relationship at Trig Brother, now, am I? Bah. In fact, seeing ex-BF there will probably only make me feel more relationshiphorny.

x-post, I don't know. Why don't you ask on the thread?

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

Good point. Sorry.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

"relationshiphorny"

the gender attitudes arent that different after all.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

"relationshiphorny" = longing for the non-sexual parts of being in a relationship, and/or feelings of inadequacy for not being in one.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

yeah i knew that anyway, im not too sure if that descrip means = 'horny' for a relationship though

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

horny has connotations of irrationality and just general hormonal impulse rather than something rationally considered. A longing or urge. So I think it holds.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

thats true

im just trying to think waht the equivalent of masturbation would be for people feeling 'relationshiphorny'!

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Hopeless crushes on unobtainable people. Over-relying on your non-sexual friends.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

Being so 'relationshiphorny' that you start viewing non-sexual friends in a "I wonder if..." light, C/D?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

Kate should try a personal ad on:

London Gumtree
http://www.gumtree.com/

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:44 (twenty years ago)

Errr... that's for Kiwis and Aussies. People at one of my old jobs used to be addicted to it. Ugh. No thanks.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

Hopeless crushes on unobtainable people. Over-relying on your non-sexual friends.

CHECK! and CHECK!

― stevie (stevie), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

Hopeless crushes on unobtainable people. Over-relying on your non-sexual friends.

CHECK! and ... um, well, I don't really have any friends at the moment anyway.

― Tech Support Droid, Monday, 27 June 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

in reponse to the main query of this thread, i would probably just say what marcello said in that other thread - that you cant force these things. at the risk of sounding really banal, i suppose its just a case of not letting opportunities pass you by - if you strike up a good convo with a stranger somewhere, keep it going (something im shit at doing and dont realise til after), if you seem to catch the glance of someone in a club, dont let it go to waste, etc etc. most people meet through work or social activities though, which is why im taking up more classes...

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

(argh, speaking of exes, mine's just been on the radio. got halfway through the song before i recognised her voice. he didn't announce it before playing it or i'd've turned it off. (having said that, it sounded great (was her american band rather than the english one)))

>im just trying to think waht the equivalent of masturbation would be for people feeling 'relationshiphorny'!

hugging your pillow?

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

Heh, I do that every night.

― Tech Support Droid, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

I always have. Even when I was *in* a relationship.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:27 (twenty years ago)

when i broke up with my ex-gf, i actually slept with the cuddly toy she bought for me for a few nights. until then, i hadnt slept with a cuddly toy for about 23 years, haha.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, I'm in a bad mood now because SOMEONE NICKED MY LUNCH!!!

I swear to god. I left it in the fridge on Friday afternoon, then when I went to get it, it was gone. I would understand if there were some policy of "clean out the fridge at the end of the week" but there isn't. SOMEONE JUST NICKED MY LUNCH!!!

If I could only figure out who it was, I'd use my admin priviledges for some SERIOUSLY EVIL REVENGE. Humph.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

sorry, x-post. Maybe I need a cuddly toy now.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

Kate, yr lunch probably removed by cleaner (in most offices that's a policy).

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Kate, do what I do - go to bars and restaurants and ask for a butcher knife or something sharp from the kitchen!

― Negativa, True Believer (Sheryl Crow in a Britney costume) (Barima), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

I *ASKED* if it was a policy. It was not. Someone just nicked my lunch.

Grrr, I had just about forgotten in the SQl frenzy of this afternoon, but now I'm all cross again.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Series of Questionable Lovers?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

That's my favorite song by the Ratpure!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

That's my favourite band!

x-p

― Negativa, True Believer (Sheryl Crow in a Britney costume) (Barima), Monday, 27 June 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

i suggest you spend a few hours hanging out somewhere with lots of loud, obnoxious, annoying children and their harassed, haggard-looking parents and it'll remind you how great it is to be single. then go get a huge fuck-off milkshake. and ummm... rent a scary movie with a friend. and er.. ice skate. going to the cinema could be dangerous, however, especially if populated by a bunch of snogging pre-teens. depressing.

― dahlin (dahlin), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Heh heh, I just stumbled into someone's online photo album from last year and found a whole bunch of REALLY unflattering photos of my ex, and that made me a feel a lot better. :-)

I don't actually mind kids, so I'm not sure that would be good aversion therapy, though.

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

Ugh, but then I kept looking and found a photo of myself from the same period where *I* look so awful I'm almost unrecognisable. I can't believe how fat and unhappy I look. Maybe I should print it out and pin it to my monitor to remind myself what Being In A Relationship was like. :-(

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Why do I keep looking at these things? I'm torturing myself. I'm ugly, ugly, FUGLY.

bah, I'm going home now and hoping that the C1tr1x bloke wasn't kidding about me losing internet access when the new system goes live tomorrow. :-(

― MIS Information (kate), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

You're not as fugly as me, dear.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

try not reading ILX!

― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 27 June 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

youre not fugly. not that ive ever seen you, but you dont seem like the type of person who would be fugly.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

Kate you will never be ugly!

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

This destroyed my ego:

HIDEOUS!!!

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

K dude, photos capture a split second when your face, stomach etc. can be forming any of the hundreds of thousands of shapes that they possibly can, not even nearly a tiny percentage of which look aesthetically pleasing when held statically. What's better, keeping your face rigid so you'll look OK if a picture is taken unexpectedly, or speaking and laughing like a human being? Also, you are not ugly.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

I can tell you now Kate that it's simply a bad angle. If you shoot a photo of Kate Moss from that angle she'll look like she has multiple chins. As a former art student I don't need to give you my class in foreshortening 101 do I? :)

― The self-hating Goy / Kate (papa november), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

try not reading ILX!

That seems like sound advice.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

No, I really *did* have that many chins, then. Possibly even more.

And I know it's an unflattering photo and an unflattering expression and all that, but it's not like I have much evidence to the contrary lately.

And it wasn't even so much begging for attention and "tell me I look nice" - but more this sense of "how could I let myself GOOO like that?!?!?" (It wasn't even letting myself go so much as I was bloody miserable then.)

Sigh.

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Chunking up and being miserable seem to go hand in hand.

― The self-hating Goy / Kate (papa november), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

The last thing you want to do when you're depressed is look in a mirror - because it shatters what little self esteem you have left. But it is kind of a good indication that "something" is wrong, and I should really have paid attention to it more.

I've never been in a relationship where I didn't bloat out. I thought it was just a natural function of "nesting" and all that. But then again, it might actually have been a warning signal. I have no real comparison.

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

try not reading ILX!

Well, anyway, since this seems to have become a real Kate Whinging thread rather than a parody thread, I would just like to say that this current bout of relationhorn wasn't provoked by ILX. It was provoked by the return from abroad of my housemate with his new wife.

It's harder to ignore the notion of Couplehood as normative when it's rubbed in your face every single day...

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

http://www.the-joke-shop.com/ProductImages/PP3079.jpg

― stelf)xxx, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

Ah, so that solves the mystery of how you can be single but not celibate, then!

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/meat_box.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

i apologise for my subconscious and her associational monkeyshines

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

kate, try to focus on the fact that you don't look like that anymore - you've lost and kept off the unhappiness weight, which is a difficult thing to do. i'd be proud, if i were you.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:01 (twenty years ago)

Are monkeyshines like monkey maths?

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

The crumbling to dust of all my close friends relationships at the moment is remedy enough for me.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

Possible remedy?

Just think about having breakfast, dinner, weekends, holidays, sharing a bed etc. with the same person for the rest of your life....It's madness.

Variety is the spice of life.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

no variety is an eight-pack of kellogg's cereals. you wouldn't want to be eating those for the rest of your life.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

Chunking up and being miserable seem to go hand in hand.

-- The self-hating Goy / Kate (kat...), June 28th, 2005. (papa november) (later)

Haha. This has been very true in my case. Whenever I'm depressed I put on at least 20 lbs.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

But...

1) Relationship doesn't necessarily entail "rest of your life" any more
2) I actually quite like routine, I tend to eat the same thing for breakfast every day or else I get disoriented and put out and get in a state of flap if I am prevented from my comforting routine. When I go to a restaurant, I always order the same food. I'm quite obsessive that way.

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

no variety is an eight-pack of kellogg's cereals. you wouldn't want to be eating those for the rest of your life.

Variety is the difference between queuing for your ration of potatoes in some depressed eastern european or former soviet republic and enjoying the full range of food and cuisines available through the benefits of trade liberalisation and globalisation in the UK and US.

Coupledom is bizarre result of cultural conditioning that stops the market of relationships from working effectively. Trade partners often and especially with people from other countries.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

routine is safe, sanctuary, but not as safe as your bathroom

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

I just want an excuse to go "waaaaaaah, boys don't love me, boys all hate me, I'm gonna eat some worms" and whinge for a while.

x-post... GRRRRRRR, I've just been reading a book about the evils of globalisation with regards to the class system etc. so you make me want to beat you with sticks when you say things like that.

Except at the moment, I would give anything to be stuck in a queue waiting for potatoes because there is a horrible potato shortage in my gulag and I haven't even seen or smelled a potato in months.

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

I *do* want to just find someone I love and snuggle up to them for the rest of my life. Am I in the minority here?

(I have abandoned all hope of this ever actually *happening*, but it's a nice dream)

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

They'd probably snore anyway.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

(x post) It's worth trying...but I bet you find out it's not what you really want.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

Tell me how old you are, Droid, and I'll tell you whether you can give up hope or not. ;-)

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

27, although it usually feels like 27-going-on-47.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

You have at least 6 more years before you can officially give up hope, then. Go out and celebrate! (Until you hit the Jesus Age, that is, and then you'll be crucified.)

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

(x post)

If you were in a long-term relationship you'd probably feel 57.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

What works for some people may not work for others, Six. What works for you may not work for other people and vice versa. I wonder why you feel the need to attampt to apply some kind of weird pseudo-rationalist ideological viewpoint to interpersonal relationships. It's a weird outlook that's doomed to failure.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Amen!

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

OK I acknowledge the truth of a lot of that...but I'm jaundiced recently, having come across a lot of crabby couples who seem to irritate the hell out of each other but stay together, presumably for security.

I change my ideological viewpoints a lot for the sake of variety as well.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

That's fine to say *now* - but what am I going to do when I'm still single in six years' time?

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

Do what I do, and start miserable threads like this. ;-)

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Er, Kate, aren't you supposed to be in work all the time these days?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

I am working! Look at this vicious bit of code I'm manhandling:

DROP TABLE PAYAWAYS_PAID CASCADE CONSTRAINTS ;

CREATE TABLE PAYAWAYS_PAID (
CASE_NUM CHAR (10) NOT NULL,
CL1_NAME VARCHAR2 (30),
ITV CHAR (3),
TEAM CHAR (3),
BRANCH VARCHAR2 (30),
LOAN1 NUMBER (10),
INTRO CHAR (3),
INTRO_SUB CHAR (3),
R_TYPE CHAR (1),
R_FORM CHAR (1),
PROC NUMBER (10),
COMM NUMBER (10),
FEEGV NUMBER (10),
CASE_VAL NUMBER (10),
R_AMT NUMBER (10),
INTRO_NARR VARCHAR2 (80),
PAY_DATE DATE)
TABLESPACE USR
PCTFREE 10
PCTUSED 40
INITRANS 1
MAXTRANS 255
STORAGE (
INITIAL 131072
NEXT 131072
MINEXTENTS 1
MAXEXTENTS 4096
FREELISTS 1 FREELIST GROUPS 1 )
NOCACHE;

― MIS Information (kate), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I already *do* start threads about how crap my life is, etc, etc, just anonymously.

I like the column name FEEGV.

― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

This just came up in Random...

God, my life never changes, does it?

A year and a half on, and nothing has changed. When am I allowed to just give up and shoot myself in the head?

Did not help to see the pointedness of my ex's nose.

Jesus fucking christ, I'm sick of feeling like this.

― Negative Mental Attitude (kate), Friday, 20 October 2006 11:25 (nineteen years ago)

Kate, I know it's a crap thing to say, such a fucking cliche, but you have to let go in a way. I used to moan and moan and, well, MOAN about being single to my mum all the fucking time. Not because I was single at that particular moment in time, I was just freaked out about the possibility of ending up OLD and ALONE. Then I just thought: well, I actually don't give a shit. If I remain alone, that's okay with me. Then I met someone. I mean, I know it's not really related.

Wtf, I'm rambling, am I not? So uh, can I give you lots of huggelz? :-D

(Only now have I noticed that random link. I'm so fucking dumb.)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 20 October 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

remedy: install CIV4 on computer.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 October 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

huh?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

Hang on - i just read the original/first post. You don't need a relationship just satisfy that particular need? Why drag relationships into it?

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

because if you don't drag relationships into it, you can't satisfy that particular need (as well as others!) on a regular basis, and then it's even worse than if you never did at all. there's something to be said for consistency.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

Don't listen to ken c! He has fallen for Isabella. Wherefor art thou kfc girl to rescue him from this succubus?!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 20 October 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.

im sick of reading, hearing and thinking about relationships - possible remedies?